We can't save them all

by wanderlustguy 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    I was talking with a good friend tonight, from the board. She has one of the most shocking backgrounds on here, in some ways very similar to my own. After our conversation she told me I should put this one down and post it…so here goes.

    I had a best friend who was older than me and treated me like a brother. We both went though hell as our parents split up; we were both witnesses as well. Often we would worry about my parents getting DF’ed and us not being able to speak to each other. I remember the promise to Jehovah being the one thing that meant we were telling the truth.

    Same with my actual brother, we were best friends, even though we never acted like it. Most of the time we were all we had, even though we fought and argued, but we loved each other. Usually we were the only comfortable people we could be around as our father had the most trashy people I’ve ever known over along with his pre-teen girlfriend whenever we were visiting.

    So fast-forward to now. This is the hardest part. Is it survivor’s guilt? As I travel the country and stay in awesome hotels, hang out backstage with bands and “cool people” every now and then, and review the latest information on the company I own a part of, adn as I become more free form the Society, I feel it. I feel the twinge of guilt for leaving others behind. My brother works in what is basically a sawmill. My father refused to let him get the treatment he needed for several ailments he was born with, even though he had the resources, and now he moves like a 50 year old because his joints are weak. He’s 28. He also goes to meetings and in service and is a real good dub. Reaching out for servant. Sucking up to the same people who watched us starve for 6 years as they reminded us our mom was living wrong and everything would be ok if we just went to the meetings again. No, it would be ok if our father would pay his child support.

    The best friend now works in the oilfield. I did it for a while and figured out really quick it was not the place to be. So many people working there missing fingers, or at least the tips of them from clamping the tongs around the rods with the big gloves on and getting their fingers caught. I remember being more exhausted working on those rigs than ever in my life before or after. Could barely think because of the ache and fatigue. He’s still there, over 12 years later. He’s had ribs broken, fingers smashed, spinal fractures, and still goes on, making half what I do sitting in my office all day. Right now he still believes he is the one in the wrong because he’s not good enough to be a dub, he’s DF’ed. I told him about the site…but he’s not computer savvy at all.

    And then there is another one, not a dub, he made it, made it all the way out of the little slice of hell I call home. He joined the military, got his honorable discharge, and bought a farm with his fiancé out in Colorado. They had about 20 acres of the most beautiful land you ever saw. He had a great job directing construction crews on building projects. I thought he was going to make it for real. They went sour, and he moved back to the small town we were raised in, got a girlfriend, got her pregnant, married her. He works as a carpenter now for about a quarter of what he once made. He used to run crews of carpenters. The last time I saw him he asked me…”you know that feeling you get when you come here, after a few days, that you really, really want to leave because you don’t belong here?” I said “yea”. He said, “It never goes away”.

    The point is, just as those in the truth are, these people are about their life. They really don’t know what else there is, and are afraid to find out. They stay with what is familiar, and easy. A few others have said these same things to me, that they feel guilty for not being able to bring more with them. I feel it, too. I wish there was an easy answer to getting more people to wake up and see the truth about the truth.

    Strange how you can feel guilty for being free isn’t it?

    WLG

  • HadEnuf
    HadEnuf

    And that's exactly why the JW's "truth" works so well...because people don't want to leave what they know. I'm still afraid to "jump into the river" of life outside the Watchtower. But it's all about little steps. I'll get there someday...unless I die first.

    Big hug for your thoughts and struggles wander...cathy l.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    wanderlust : I totally agree that the reason they stay is because it's familiar / it's all the know. They are also afraid that they won't have anyone when they leave. Unsure of yourself. What / where to know???? I remember when I made my recent departure those were the feelings that came up, but I knew that I could just not stay anymore and if that meant I had to lose my family because they wanted to stay , it was worth it.

    I don't like it but it was worth it. I tried to reason with them, I tried to help them see, to try open their minds....do I feel guilty. NO I don't. I tried, they rejected me. I tried, they told me I was going nuts. I tried, they shunned me. I still love them & I still want them to leave. But I can't make them.

    I don't feel guilty at all - I just wish they would all wake up and see that for once you don't have to feel guilty.

  • defd
    defd

    The point is, just as those in the truth are, these people are about their life. They really don’t know what else there is, and are afraid to find out. They stay with what is familiar, and easy. A few others have said these same things to me, that they feel guilty for not being able to bring more with them. I feel it, too. I wish there was an easy answer to getting more people to wake up and see the truth about the truth.

    The bible says that Satan the Devil misled a third of the angels. Ask him how he done it!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I honesty think defd has lost his mind

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Defd...when you come out bro...I'm flying to Texas to buy you a beer.

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Dfed, why do you insist on preaching to people who YOU KNOW will never convert?

    Isnt that a huge waste of your precious time? Isnt that like being a salesman and only knocking on the doors of people you KNOW have already said they didnt want the product?

    I think as a true christian you should stop throwing your pearls before swine, and use the precious time you have left before armageddon in preaching to people who havent already rejected the truth.

    oink.

  • defd
    defd

    Defd...when you come out bro...I'm flying to Texas to buy you a beer. Bud light 40 oz

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    He's gotta be counting his time - LOL

    Shame there isn't a distinct category for Net-time on the S8, huh?

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    you're right LT, hes gotta be counting his time. But surely hes doing the field service equivalent of knocking on doors he knows are permanent Not At Homes.

    Even though he can fool the elders on the S8 hes not fooling Jehovah, who sees he is using his time wastefully.

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