Quick: How do I JW-proof the house?

by Thegoodgirl 58 Replies latest jw friends

  • daystar


  • Thegoodgirl

    Daystar: I can take one look at that and tell you it's demonic.

    Yes, flinstone birth control pills, of course. Just for occasions like these.

    Gasp! Guys, why didn't you tell me! I just remembered the birthday card to my husband on the fridge. Ya see, another close call. Don't ya just love this lifestyle?

  • daystar
    I can take one look at that and tell you it's demonic

    Scary to some perhaps, but not demonic. It's a carved lump of plaster.

    In any case, I was making a joke.

    You can take "JW-proof" to mean two things:

    • make your residence innocuous for JWs who might judge you.
    • make your residence "JW-proof" in that they won't come near the place.

    My little piccie was with a mind towards the second.

  • jaffacake

    hide the Joy of Sex

  • dorayakii
    hide the Joy of Sex

    ... and replace it with an open NWT bible on your bedside table Take down all posters of pop-singers or sports-stars. (New coucil from 2004 "Walk with God" DC) Hide all video games which "feature shooting aliens" (Brother Lösch old us at the bethel meeting on saturday)
    Hide all music with strong beat "such as rap or heavy rock". (Lösch)

    Place this years text book (Examining the Scriptures Daily) on the table and open at the right page... ruffle and crinkle all the pages before today's date and put a few coffee cup stains on them.

  • Big Dog
    Big Dog

    Cross, garlic, wooden stakes, mallet, silver bullets, and holy water should do it.

  • Scully

    Check all packaged meat for animal "by-products", ie "blood". Put them in the back of your fridge freezer or the bottom of a deep freezer.

    Any pagan celebration items (Christmas, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, 4th of July, Valentine's Day, St Patrick's Day, MLK Day, Washington's B-day, yadda yadda) can be boxed and put in the attic.

    Consider yourself Fortunate™ that you have 48 hours notice. There was one occasion about 8 years ago when I had 2 hours to dismantle a totally decorated 8-foot tall artificial Christmas tree with assorted decorations about the house and shove them all in the attic and vacuum up any shards of tinsel that remained on the carpeting when JW relatives made a surprise visit a few days before Christmas.

  • Thegoodgirl

    Thanks, guys. Scully, what a horror story, yikes.

    And I love the daily text tip!

  • Es

    heheh dont you love it, i go round and remove all the birhday and christmas photos heheh and im still hoping that they never decide to pop in over christmas as im sure the sight of a big glistening christmas tree may shock them a little :) es

  • Evanescence

    Anything from red cross blood donations?


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