This is probably very immature of me, but

Crumpet

last night my ex boyfriend finally admitted to me that he cheated on me whilst we were going out. We split up about 7 years ago. What is irking me most is that I've asked him before if he had and he totally denied it. Also after we split up we met for a drink and I confessed that I'd cheated on him - meaningless one night stands and was very sorry and wanted to start our friendship with a clean slate. After I told him that he didn;t speak to me for months and ever since he's had a holier than thou attitude. ie I was the filthy whoring one whilst he was an angel.

Now I find out that he was just as bad as me, but worse because

a) he didn't abstain from sex with me whilst he was checked for STDs (I did)

b) he's lied all this time and made me feel guilty

So it may immature, maybe I shoudl just call it quits, but I am very angry with him and want to punish him for his lack of honesty with me. I know how much shunning hurts and I am thinking that sending him to coventry for a year might be fitting and make me feel better.

What do you think I should do? And don't hold back now - say what you think!

mrsjones5

Why did he choose to tell you this now? What was the point of that?

And after 7 years of him being your Ex, why do you care?

I was married once before my current marriage. My mother didnt like that one either. After I divorced him my mother said to me that he had mostlikely cheated on me. My reply to her was that the marriage is over and done with and I really didnt care anymore if he had.

Josie

Happy Guy :)

Since you value honesty here goes:

Yes just as your thread title suggests, I agree: probably very immature of you.

I also question why he brings this up now as well why you should even care. It sounds like you both want to keep something going even if it means in a dysfunctional way.

As far as your protestations of lack of honesty who are you kidding? Maybe you should take a look in the mirror? Here let me help you a little:

Also after we split up we met for a drink and I confessed that I'd cheated on him - meaningless one night stands...

Honesty would have been you telling him immediately not long after the fact and only after you split. Some might say more honest would have been not cheating in the first place

Sorry to be harsh but you did ask.

Mecurious?

How can you be mad at him! You both cheated!

So what you did was an honest crime of the heart?

stillajwexelder

Do you harbor resentment or do you forgive - one of the WTBTS Outlines for Public Talks

Anger and revenge are powerful emotions which end up doing more damage to the one expressing those emotions than at the person to whom they are directed.

So he was alying little bastard -leave him be, you are better off without him

prophecor

he didn't abstain from sex with me whilst he was checked for STDs (I did)

Deal Breaker

donkey

short answer: dump him

Finally-Free

I sure as hell am not one to judge who's right or wrong here but this concerns me because it could mean your life:

a) he didn't abstain from sex with me whilst he was checked for STDs (I did)

Regardless of what course you take I would advise that you NEVER have unprotected sex with this person again.

W

sweet tee

Crumpet - here is my two cents. Friendship to me is about trust and loyalty. His not telling you about his extracurricular activities AFTER you admitted YOURS and asked him again if he did the same is blatant dishonesty. Then to shun you adds insult to injury.

I'm picky about my friends but I also realize that real friends are hard to find so I don't discard them casually. Some questions to ask yourself; if you called on him for bail would he be there? If you were sick and needed a bowl of chicken soup would he bring it over? Would he ever betray your confidence? In other words, does this friendship have something to offer you besides someone to talk to and hang out with once in a while? If it doesn't, give him a piece of your mind and move on. If it does, give him a piece of your mind and move forward with the friendship. We all do stupid things sometimes. I'd give him just a teensy bit of credit for finally coming clean. That indicates that you mean something to him.

sweet tee

Golf

Life is all about growing up, physically and emotionally. I know people in their sixties who are immature! Do I make an issue out of it, nah, why should I? Life is made up of weaknesses and strengths.

What you went through is an experience,learn from it. The decision is 'all' yours to make.

Golf

This is probably very immature of me, but

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