Older men dating teenagers/Lolitas

by wanderlustguy 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • lucky

    When I was 17/18 I got involved with a married brother who was 25 years my senior. It was entirely initiated by him; I didn't think of him as anything other than a father figure before he told me he was in love with me (we worked together). Our (secret) relationship lasted about two years, during which he completely dominated every aspect of my life, including picking out my clothes, choosing what music I could listen to, forbidding me from watching TV or movies, refusing to allow me to wear makeup or jewelry, and deciding what I could eat and who I could hang out with. The fact that all of this happened in secrecy without anyone knowing (although we did sit through a number of meetings with the elders towards the end of the two years (during which we both denied everything) and I believe his wife was pretty suspicious) is all the more amazing. Although he refused to leave his wife, he told me that he would commit suicide if I ever married anyone else. My parents wondered what in the world was causing this radical transformation in all of my habits. Even after leaving the relationship (I left and moved to a different state because I was afraid of being disfellowshipped, not because the relationship was abusive; I didn't believe it was) I felt that I was absolutely in love with him and that we were meant to be together, that all these changes were things that I WANTED, and that we'd be together in the new system (his wife was an unbeliever). Afterwards, I spent years consumed by the guilt of the fornication and by the fear that he would somehow find out that I had worn earrings or watched a movie or committed some other "sin" when my strict habits started to slip a bit in my new home.

    Now, 14 years later, out of the borg, and married to someone my own age and completely un-domineering, I am amazed at both how naive I was and how much damage the relationship caused me emotionally.

  • Confession

    Wow, Lucky, quite an experience. What a piece of work that guy was.

  • DannyHaszard

    Danny a virgin at 29: I squandered my youth for a cult.

    "Staying Alive Until 1975" My Story of Growing Up JW with Severe Ulcerative Colitis True story could only happen in dub land

    I am now 48 and when i see teenage girls i do not think of sex i think about what i missed out on due to a life of Watchtower monk-dom.

    I will make the WT pay dearly for robbing my youth.

  • Insomniac

    Danny- I know what you mean, about wasting our youth. When I think of the years I spent as a witness, I do feel a sense of loss, although when you get right down to it, my past made me who I am today, and since I like the person I am, I can't say it was all bad. I've resolved not to waste any more of my time on their bs. Moving on in life is empowering and freeing; bitterness and anger will make you old before your time.

  • DannyHaszard
    although when you get right down to it, my past made me who I am today

    Roger that and because of the WT i am now a disabled carpenter who is damned good on the computer,and killing the enemy besides.

    I am their very own frankenstein's monster-"the creature that turns on it's creator" you made me watchtower how do you like your very own out of control apostate abomination?

    Run for cover eeeeeeeeeeeeeek

  • zagor

    Yeah, kind of like Sydlick and his wife.

  • FlyingHighNow
    I always considered the southern states of the USA

    You'd be wrong. I don't know about Utah, but the age of consent generally runs about 16 in most northern states, but it's 17 in guess what state, don't faint, Louisiana. I find it offensive that people think this about the south.

  • DannyHaszard

    (ca.mid 1970's location Naples Florida)

    Growing up JW they had a saying,'girls married at 16 boys at 18 or their outta da troof'.It wasn't so much the kids themselves as their JW parents.

    I had a number of dub parents desperate for me to court and marry their 14 y.o. daughters.

  • thom

    ---"But I know the idea behind the original post here is not specifically about older men and younger women. It's about a person who only seeks relationships with others he or she can dominate. And that seems sad--both for the dominator and particularly the dominated."---
    Absolutely! I have no interest in dominating my GF. She's my friend and has just as many interests as I do and just as much say in what we do as I do. She's an adult and acts like one. She has a career and I support her in it fully. I would think acting like a father to her would be very unappealing to me and most certainly to her. She wouldn't allow that one bit!
    After I divorced I dated women from 38-45 years old. Very nice girls, but their interests in what to do didn't match mine. I like to backpack, hike, camp, take the kids to the zoo in the middle of the week, and do many things spontaneously. I found girls my age enjoyed other things than I enjoy.
    We do get the occasional dirty looks and even nasty comments when we're out together. I've had people call me a pervert who know nothing at all about who we are, just seeing our age difference and making a judgement. She's the one that blasts them back when that happens as it pisses her off more than it does me.
    But I don't think that my dating someone 24 years old makes me some kind of sick person. She pursued me, she asked me out, I agreed, and it's working out just great. May not end in marriage or a life together, but what guarantee is there of that at any age?

  • Dune

    I just turned 19. So i can still legally get it on with 17 year olds. BOOOYAAAAA!!!!

    I've seen alot of 23 year olds who go out with 15 and 16 year olds though. Badness..

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