Older men dating teenagers/Lolitas

by wanderlustguy 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • wanderlustguy

    Lolitas – Older men with little girls.

    I promised myself only 30 minutes on this…so the timer starts now. My perspective on this is probably different than most, I am a male, 32 years old. My father was a few years older than I am now when he married my mom…who was 16. She would readily say now she didn’t know anything about anything. She grew up in a really poor household with a lot of kids, and was an outsider even there, because she had a different father than the other three kids. So when my dad came along, he was a knight in shining armor, knew everything about everything and it was the fairy tale. Turns out he also paid her parents about $200 every month or so for her. Talk about a fairy nightmare. According to everything I know now, my dad was/is very wealthy, you wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he is. My mother was a cheerleader and very attractive, and my dad needed a new showpiece for his arm…she was it. Not long after I was born, the Witness Wives threw baby shower after baby shower and everyone was at the hospital, etc. She thought it was because of their love for her/us, but found out later it was because of the money. She was always the one driving in service, always the one to host the “get togethers”. Oh but anyway, back to the real issue here. She was 17 when I was born. Everything seemed great until my little brother was on the way. My dad didn’t want another kid, and didn’t want my mom getting bigger. She was 21 now, and still had only worked with him, knew nothing about the world. Turns out he had been sleeping with half the town, then was caught with a 12 year old by her. The rest of this is in my profile under the link to my story, so I’ll skip to theory now.

    So anyway, I got to see a lot of interaction between my father, who was in his 40’s and his 12 year old girlfriend, up until she was about 23, so I remember very well the interaction between them. Just as he never left my hometown of 1900 people, he was always dating (if you want to call it that) emotionally immature girls. They were easier to control, didn’t know anything about anything, and had no idea what they were doing. All of them had absent fathers, and were really quick to latch on to a grown man who would take care of them, regardless of what they had to do. I remember it so well, the mind games and lies, how easily he could manipulate the emotionally immature people, I think that’s what he got off on the most, making people do what he wanted and think it was their idea. My opinion, a man like that is simply too weak or afraid to face real mature adults. Maybe that’s why he’s never really traveled, and thinks everything outside of the town is bad…because it’s too much for him. His last wife fits the mold, she was obtained through an agency that specializes in “importing” women from 3 rd world countries for American men. This one was 30 when she came here…he was over 60. And emotionally, she’s a child. You can look at her eyes and see a little girl staring back at you…no older than my oldest daughter.

    One of my angriest memories, and one of the things that made me leave home and hate it, I was delivering a load of material for my dad, and the customer noticed who I was. He said to me – “I asked your dad about going to jail for doin’ that little girl and I asked him how it was, if it was worth it, and he said “I married her, didn’t I?” What a sick b*stard. Soon I came to find out that was the consensus of the male population there…how was it? They never even considered that little girl who never knew what it was to be innocent. Know what happened to her? Her life is a wreck. She is one of the saddest people I have ever met. Sometimes I think I’m lost, but then I see her or someone like her and realize how good I have it.

    There is no excuse for someone taking advantage of an emotionally underdeveloped woman. I don’t care if she’s 40. I do realize it can happen to men too, but we’re kidding ourselves if we say there is any comparison as to how many times this happens to women as opposed to men. But also I have come to believe I am in the minority in this, especially when it comes to men. I can’t count the times I have heard so many crass comments about girls who appear too young. Makes me worry about my daughters and the people out there just dying to tear them apart. I lived it, I saw firsthand twice what it does to someone, and there is no excuse.

    Just my opinion. My 30 minutes are up.


  • candidlynuts

    dont get me started!

    my ex said i was too old at 30 so he proceeded to screw around with my 17 yr old sister..

    since the divorce he's not dated anyone over 21.

    he's now 45......

    in my opinion, dirty old men are just sick bastards. (but thats a bitter old divorcee's opinion)

    a sister i grew up with in my hall, married a guy, he became an elder.. one day he up and says he's been having an affair with a girl who is now 18 and old enough to marry..he'd been having sex with her since she was 14.. yup the holy spirit sure knows how to pick em!

  • wanderlustguy

    Wow...41 views and 1 response...

    Sorry to hear that Candid. Where I'm from, it's a pretty common thing. Yep...takes a real man to woo a teenager.

  • kwintestal

    I got my wife when she was 15! What's the problem with that!


  • kwintestal

    I guess I should have mentioned, I was 17 at the time.


  • tetrapod.sapien

    yep. wanderlust, that's crazy-harsh man. a lot of sick ol' bastards out there.

    i mean it's one thing these guys to fantasize, and another to actually go out there and start messing up people's entire lives.

    thanks for sharing your story,



  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    With all due respect,


    Symptoms of a Pedophile

    Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger).

    The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

    The person is at least age 16 and at least 5 years older than the child or children in the first category.

    Note: Do not include an individual in late adolescence involved in an ongoing sexual relationship with a 12- or 13-year-old.

  • stillajwexelder

    There is no excuse for someone taking advantage of an emotionally underdeveloped woman.

    I agree -Another reason I hate Islamic culture - they marry the girls off very young

  • wanderlustguy

    Big tex...yep that would be it.

    Imagine...waking up one day and realizing...no one had anything to do with you, not just because you were a witness...but because your dad is a pedaphile...

    For a while my biggest fear was, what if I developed that kind of whatever you want to call it? What if it's something that just happens?!?!?!?!

    Of course I know better now, it's a learned behavior, I'm just glad now that I got out of there.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    For a while my biggest fear was, what if I developed that kind of whatever you want to call it? What if it's something that just happens?!?!?!?!

    Welcome to my world. For years I was tormented with this fear. Not until I had children, and they began to grow up that I (finally) was able to really realize this is not an inherited problem. It's a choice. Not to hijack your thread, but I've talked before about abuse victims having scars no one sees, this is an example of one of those scars. It's a dread every victim, particularly men, have. The vast majority of victims never even think, must less act, like their abuser.

    I think it took a lot of guts to post this.

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