Older men dating teenagers/Lolitas

by wanderlustguy 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • talesin
    talesin

    I was 13 when I got my first marriage offer from a 27/28 YO Pine-ear. The pattern continued throughout my teens. I remember there was one guy from NYC,,,, I was 16, he was 50! There is a lot of that in the JW, and at that time, they were even semi-arranging marriages, or at least that is what happened to me on several occasions. Several of the 'suitors' approached my parents, not me. They in turn, tried to convince me what a catch 'Brother' so-and-so was. Thank the goddess I got the hell out as soon as I could.

    No wonder I have always dated younger guys ...

    tal

  • Insomniac
    Insomniac

    There's a flip side to this coin.

    I spent my life pursuing older guys. When I was 11, I used to fantasize about my teacher- he was maybe 50, had grey hair and crow's feet. I used to lean in close to smell his aftershave, and I did feel physically drawn to him. I tried dating guys in my generation, but the ones I fell for hardest were twenty to forty years my senior. These weren't predators, as they were mostly one-sided crushes on my part, and I never had sex with them, but I sure did crave the closeness of an older man. Incidentally, for you amateur psychiatrists out there, I never had a dad of my own; I'm not sure that's as significant as Freud would have us believe, though.

    Did anyone here ever read Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov? I did, as a teen; I found it highly erotic, and was devastated by the ending. Imagine Lola's sense of loss when the only thing she had to offer men (her youth) wasted away? What sucks is, defining yourself by that image, spending your life as the "younger chick" that older men use to recapture their fading youth, and then one day looking into the mirror and seeing a grown woman. Yikes. I don't want to be 36; I wish I could stay 20 forever, and keep dating guys who get mistaken for my dad. It's easier.

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    Tal~ that happened to me too. Why would a 30 something man get his parents to approach my parents about wanting to date me? This when I was 17. Thank god they didn't have arranged marriages.

    Dams

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    I'm somewhat speechless by your post WLG. Not to pander, but I just can't look at a young woman and actually think of being with her. Sure you can appreciate the beauty, but not a real relationship.

    What your father was about it so very wrong.

    Good for you to not become your father!

    (Insomniac - no more of this young girls leaning up against older men stuff! )

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    One more thought. How does a neighborhood let a 40+ year old man have a 12 year old girlfriend??!?!?!!

    You didn't grow up in Afganistan did you?

  • talesin
    talesin

    Dams,

    Ah, sooo,,, they are still doing it. How twisted! Buncha sick mofos.

    tal

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy
    One more thought. How does a neighborhood let a 40+ year old man have a 12 year old girlfriend??!?!?!!

    You didn't grow up in Afganistan did you?

    Try a whole town. Today my uncle is the mayor, the sheriff has a 15 year old girlfriend everyone except his wife knows about. At the time my dad and uncles employed most of the town, or had enough money to buy anyone there. Once you buy an official in Louisiana, they stay bought. I don't have anything to do with any of them and can still drive 100mph through town and not get so much as a warning because of my name. I had 15 speeding tickets in 4 years...and none of them showed up on my record, because of who my dad was. The town is run by men, men just like him. I hate the place. WLG

  • Mecurious?
    Mecurious?

    Its legal in most states with parental consent to marry a minor. Personally, I don't have a problem with it if an older man wants to marry a minor and they are in love with each other and have parental consent!

    M'

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Wander, thank you so much for this thread.

    I realize it may be legal for men to have affairs with girls 16 and over in many states and to marry them, even younger, wiht no consent if they are pregnant. Is it wise or good? I don't think so in most cases. My mother always said, "If you aren't old enough to sign to get married, don't ask me to do it. You'll be responsible for your own mistakes."

    I had a jw sister in law who married at 16 to my exhusband's brother who was about 10 years older. That was one of the rare exceptions when it turned out well.

    I was pursued by older men from the time I was 14 on. That doesn't include being molested as a child by teenagers and over 18s. I recall being invited in by a couple who wanted to ask me to babysit for them. She took off to the store for cigarettes and he took the opportunity to plant a passionate kiss and embrace on me. I confided this into an older guy I knew, who was a nice guy, and he explained the man was making a pass at me. Until then I had not heard of that: "making a pass." I had lots of bad experiences like that that grew only worse.

    I had a woman's body on a five foot one inch 105 lb frame. I had a baby face and always looked much younger than I was. When I was 20, people thought I was 12. When I was 30, they thought I was 15. I was a latch key kid with too much time on my hands after school. That combination brought out the creeps by the dozen.

    Men need to stick with women and not developing teenagers. When they do that, they steal away the youth of those girls. Girls that age need to be active in clubs at school, doing homework, hanging out with other teenagers and going to school functions, etc. They don't need to be involved in full blown affairs with mature men. We all know that adulthood and it's responsibilities and burdens come all too fast. Why rush things?

  • Oroborus21
    Oroborus21


    Greetings!

    I thought your post was specific to the circumstances that you described which can hardly be condoned by anyone which is why I didn't post a response after reading it.

    But if you aren't talking about dating a grown adult dating a 12 year old and just talking about age disparity, as for that I see nothing wrong with that. Nor do I see anything wrong with DESIRE of a young female because this is simply a natural biological function.

    As for MAY-DECEMBER relationships in general these are perfectly natural and a function of our inherent biology. I have 13 years on my wife.

    -Eduardo

    PS: by the way right now we are watching Miss Teen USA pageant. Go Miss New Mexico!!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit