Living a Lie.

by jeeprube 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Welcome Jeeprube,

    I too am considered inactive, not yet DA/DF'd, although it's been three years since I've been to a meeting, and almost 10 since I've been regular in service.

    My hubby is inactive as well, although it's been alot longer since he was regular at meetings/service. We kind of have a truce, and we just don't talk about WTBTS very much. I have no idea exactly why he doesn't go anymore. His family live in a different city, and don't really know how complete our inactivity is. My immediate family is ok with how things are, my mom didn't shun my brother when he was df'd (both times) so I'm not too afraid there.

    I lurked here for about two years before I joined, but found much comfort reading that others are/were going thru similar things.

    Hope to hear more from you.


  • GoingGoingGone

    Hi Jeeprube,

    I'm in the same sort of situation as you.

    My husband is an elder, and I have always been the faithful, perfect witness... Pioneered right out of high school, raised my kids as good JWs... Thank goodness I paid attention to the little voice in my head that told me that there is something just not right here, and looked into it before my kids were old enough to get baptized. Now, I have not attended a meeting for close to a year (except the memorial, and the summer convention, just to keep the peace...) And I have discussed my JW doubts with my kids and am almost positive that they will never be baptized as JWs. My husband is alternately on the warpath, and completely silent about the whole issue. It's sooooo hard some days, I feel like I am going to lose it.

    PM me if you need to talk.. sometimes just being able to vent helps so much! Welcome to the forum!!



  • jgnat

    Jeeprube, I do see some hope in the way your wife is responding to you. Though a typical JW response, she listens as long as she dares. I think a book like Steven Hassan's "Overcoming Cult Mind Control" could help you find new strategies to reach your wife other than full confrontation. Over time, I am hopeful she will come along with you.

    That should put to rest some of your fears.

  • tetrapod.sapien

    welcome jeeprube!

    i am in a very similar situation with my wife right now. let me know if you ever want to chat.

    look forward to seeing you around.


  • Pole

    Hi jeeprube,
    Stick around. This is a great place. I left the WTS today. I can relate to a lot of what you have experienced. The little doubts, expectations of the family, my wife's initial reaction to my awakening. I believe there are some advantages of fading away especially if it's helping your wife, etc. to see through the lies. That was the case with me anyway.
    Now I'm free. I'm sick to hear once again how the WTS uses their corporate morality. They tell you you can leave anytime when you're becoming a dub. What they don't tell you is that in most cases you will have to sacrifice your family. And then they say they believe it's your fault when your family members shun you.
    But mentally healthy people without serious emotional problems can usually break free sooner or later. As I said - this site may be of great help.

  • IP_SEC

    A hardy welcome jeeprube,

    Alas, what you are going through has happened to many of us here. That fact in itself doesnt make things any easier, but atleast we know where you are coming from. You are among brothers and comrades here. Good luck to you.

    Pole? Did you finally send that letter off? Did I miss the thread? Sorry I aint been around enough lately.

    Matt Nebber mind, I found the thread

  • Sunspot

    Hello Jeeprube, and welcome!

    ***I've been inactive for several years now, but have been hiding from a true awaking about the reality of the WTBTS. I guess I just didn't want to face the real truth.

    It sure hurts as much as being kicked in the stomach by a horse, doesn't it? I felt it like a physical pain every time I thought about it. NOBODY wants to face the truth, that we've been tricked and duped by what I feel is a cult. It's perfectly okay to feel this way, especially if you have been IN it a long time.

    ***The gradual awaking of the mind. As the brainwashing began to fade I began to really THINK for myself. All the little doubts that had been in my mind since my teens started to flourish.

    Now you see why the WTS is so adamant that all its members attend so many meetings, and underline ALL the tripe they teach (along with "discussing" it at the meetings) they want to keep their beliefs foremost in your mind. This way you will be tired enough to not CARE about much else! It works, doesn't it!

    ***I think she is more afraid of losing her families love than anything. And that's really it isn't it? The way that they control us. They capitilize our families....steal them from us....use them to lead us and control us. The proverbial ring in the bulls nose.

    BINGO! You got it! Where ELSE would the most vulnerable area be found? In the love we have for our families and the dear friends we cherish. Go along with the program---do as we say---and you will be fine. (NOT) But these tactics are well established and well practiced.

    ***Some day my own disgust for myself will lead me to DA myself, for surely a mans principles are more important than anything. For now I am afraid! Afraid of what I will lose, afraid of a life without love.

    Reading this hurt ME! Please don't think of yourself as disgusting---you are a VICTIM OF A COLD-BLOODED CULT! And a very clever one at that! You seem to be a bright, intelligent and caring please build on that! DON'T let these creeps pull you down any more than they HAVE!!!

    You are in GREAT company here, so many of us have been down the path that you are slowly traveling now. We are HERE for you anytime, if needed!

    warm hugs,

  • Es

    Welcome jeeprube, believe me i think most of understand what your feeling, I went through the same thing myself, when i first started fading i was using the excuse that yeah i was spiritually lost or weak, but you find after a while you acutally just want to tell them the truth that you actually dont believe, it takes time but you will get there. It does make it a little harder having a partner who still believes you will find the lack of support hard, but we are here to help. es

  • delilah

    Welcome'll meet a lot of friends here.


  • Legolas

    Welcome Jeeprude

Share this