Living a Lie.

by jeeprube 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • jeeprube
    jeeprube

    Well I've finally done it. I've pulled my head out of the sand. And here I am. In reality I'm still living a lie. Please permit me to ramble a bit about myself. I'm 28, and was raised in the "truth". It's all I've known for my entire life. My father is an elder, and my mother is the typical elders wife. Both of my wifes parents are devout, he being a MS. I've been inactive for several years now, but have been hiding from a true awaking about the reality of the WTBTS. I guess I just didn't want to face the real truth.

    It's kind of funny the thought process that you go through when you stop attending meetings, and reading Watchtower pubs. The gradual awaking of the mind. As the brainwashing began to fade I began to really THINK for myself. All the little doubts that had been in my mind since my teens started to flourish. But along with that came the pre-programed guilt. Guilt which I still carry in some small part.

    I say that I am living a lie because I have not fully declared how I feel to my family. My wife knows, and she is terrified of it. I think she agrees with me on some small points. However as soon as our discussions cross some invisible line, her mind snaps itself back to some predetermined Watchtower point and that's it....end of discussion. I think she is more afraid of losing her families love than anything. And that's really it isn't it? The way that they control us. They capitilize our families....steal them from us....use them to lead us and control us. The proverbial ring in the bulls nose.

    In my lie of a life, I am merely an inactive publisher. I allow my family to think that I am merely weak, spiritualy lost. I have learned that this is a pretty good position to be in within the JW community. It allows me to have the best of both worlds. Some day my own disgust for myself will lead me to DA myself, for surely a mans principles are more important than anything. For now I am afraid! Afraid of what I will lose, afraid of a life without love.

    The emotions that go along with this journey are almost unbearable at times. I mostly feel ANGER now. Anger at all that the Watchtower costs it's members. Anger at all we willingly give up for a LIE. We will die rather than accept blood. We will forsake a decent education and work at meaningless jobs for years on end. We will spy on our very family and hand them over to a "theocratic" tribunal for spiritual execution......

    That's all I have. Thanks for listening.

  • kls
    kls

    Welcome Jeeprube, there are so many here feeling the way you feel and dealing with family in the org and folks like you waking up the wt lies .

    You will feel very much at home here and so many can relate.

  • hillbilly
    hillbilly

    Jeeprube..welcome.

    Many here have been in the same position you are in now. I can tell you it gets better then worse then better.

    Strap in tight... Getting all the way "out" is a roller coaster... I hope your wife sees the light too.

    ~Hill

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    Welcome jeeprube.I was also raised as a witless,and it has turned my family upside down.My whole family knows how I hate the religion,and have managed to help others.This site will definitley help you alot.Good luck and hope to hear more from you.Freedom of choice,what a novel idea!!!!STP

  • luna2
    luna2

    Hi, jeeprube. Welcome to the board!

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    17 years out and I still miss the friends that I loved.

  • TooOpinionated
    TooOpinionated

    Hi, and welcome to the board. You are in a tough position in regards to your wife, but hopefully you can draw strength and knowledge from everyone here.

  • littletree
    littletree

    jeeprube, welcome! like the others, i can tell you that this site is truly comforting... to know that other understand and have been where you are. even when i'm not posting, i'm always reading what others have to say. i too am 28, but have been "inactive" for almost two years now. my family has limited their association with me, but have not cut me off completely because i'm not YET disfellowshipped or dissassociated; but i'm sure that time will come eventually. i hope that your wife comes around one day, or at least becomes more tolerant of your viewpoint. sometimes i miss the friends in my old hall, but nothing compares to the weight off my shoulders now that i've left. it's so nice to finally be able to see the good in "worldly" people, and in myself regardless of any mistakes i might make- to be able to believe and question as freely as i choose. welcome again. littletree

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    Welcome Jeeprube

    No guilt, fault, or blame here.

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    I guess I wished I'd have worked out all my anger and all my Witness issues before I confronted anybody connected with the Witness group. I doubt it would have changed anything. I wasn't willing to remain silent any longer after the Witness people directed my brother, my wife, and my sons to shun me and after they took my sick son out of the hospital against medical advise.
    My load just got too heavy and I had to unload some of it. 51 years was a long time to carry all the pain the Witnesses caused in my life and the Witness people were bent on making it worse. I put a period on that sentence.

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