Living a Lie.

by jeeprube 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • karen96

    Welcome Jeeprube! I know you will find many who are willing to help here, and hope that you stay.


  • Bryan


    Welcome! Yes most all of use have been there. I was born into it too. Only time will heal your wounds once you do decide to come clean.

    Best of luck,


    Have You Seen My Mother

  • Carmel

    Gawd I feel sorry for you and the rest that are caught up in this dung heap of a corporation masquarading as a religion. I'm so glad I cut the umpilical early in life before I got so many familial meat hooks into my hide.

    I wish you well.


  • Nellie

    Welcome Jeep -

    Biting the bullet is just the first step. And like any major life change, you will notice that your emotions can change not only from day to day, but also moment to moment. Congratulations on being brave enough to post. Many here share your anger - personally, I don't. But I've also found that there is a big difference in the org between a man vs. a woman's point of view. My husband is also inactive, and from time to time, his anger gets to him. Mostly, we are just enjoying life and coming to grips with where we're headed now.

    Again, welcome - hope you find comfort and understanding here. You are not alone!

  • thom

    Hi Jeeprube, and welcome!
    As others here have already said, many or most of us have gone through what you are right now. I've also been fading for the past 9 months or so after 39 years as a jw, and when I'm asked about it by friends and family, I clearly tell them that I don't believe it and don't want any part of it. If they ask me more, I tell them.
    I'm sorry to hear that your wife is still in, that has to be difficult. My wife left me (and was df'd) before I left, so I think that makes it easier for me.
    I'm waiting for the time now if and when I'm contacted and end up df'd or whatever might happen. I don't plan to play by their rules. But I'm also no longer afraid of that time. Whatever happens, happens, and life goes on. To me, if my family shuns me, it's their decision and it is NOT my fault! Even though they say things like my father told me "Please don't get df'd, I'd hate to lost my relationship with you", I explained to him that it will be his decision to break our relationship and there is no cause to blame me.
    I'd better stop now before I end up cancelling this post because I feel like I'm rambling.

  • muse

    Welcome Jeeprube

    I thought the anger you refer to would never leave me and I did think of going to see a psychiatrist on more than one occasion to try and get rid of it. But then I came across this site and just reading so many posts from so many people who had suffered the same way made me feel better immediately. I no longer felt 'different' and although I would rather my family were 'out' I can deal with it now. So my advice is to stick around here for a while, get things off your chest and read other people's experiences. It really will help.

    Take care.


  • TheListener

    Welcome Jeeprube.

    You can tell from all the previous posts that you are far from alone. I too sit in a silent limbo awaiting my fate (in actuality I guess it's up to me to create my fate). I have not yet had enough courage to become inactive. My mate knows I'm questioning things but not to what extent.

    Keep in mind:

    Sometimes it isn't lack of courage or gumption, but a sincere desire to remain in contact with our families and some close friends that cause us to quietly fade into the jw background.

    Good to have you hear. I wish you luck on your journey.

  • itsallgoodnow

    welcome, jeeprube. I know exactly how you feel. Going through pretty much the same thing. I took the name "itsallgoodnow" before the real anger set in. I'm struggling not to be overcome by it. I don't want to be angry, I just want to be done with it. Hope you find peace!

  • minimus

    Jee, that was telling! It sux knowing that you're living the life of a hypocrite, doesn't it? But we all do what we have to do!

  • jaffacake

    Its great to have you post, A Warm Welcome.

    Have you been on the site long before posting, do you know any of us through listening to our chatter?

    Please stay!

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