If you do have kids They kids will shun their parent(s) depending on the ageor the parent will shun the kid(s) which is no way to live.So my advice is to still be nice but aim for someone that is not a JW.
Attracted to a Jehovah Witness
by AJNG99 49 Replies latest jw friends
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ex-chum
Sorry, I can't disagree with anything said so far. I (a Christ-died-for-our-sins protestant) had a very good marriage of 10 yrs with a JW until a child arrived and then 5 yrs of hell and probably many more years of heartache as the little guy is involved. I wouldn't do it again even though a beautiful child resulted.
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Seeking Knowledge
with a JW until a child arrived and then 5 yrs of hell and probably many more years of heartache as the little guy is involved. I wouldn't do it again even though a beautiful; child resulted.
Amen on that. I'm going thru the same thing. It's not worth it, the pressure on them ultimately becomes your grief.
SK
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wanderlustguy
Don't do it, realtionships are hard enough without this.
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jgnat
Hi, I am a non-JW married to one. My situation is less complicated as there are no children involved. These people are trying to paint you a realistic picture. It is a terrific obstacle to overcome religious differences. There are some women, though, who get a kick out of terrific obstacles. It sounds to me like you are in the early stages of infatuation, and this nice guy has not shown any interest beyond being nice. You are just wondering, aren’t you, if you could make it a go of it?
Are you a romantic person? Romance novels are full of this stuff. Girl meets nice guy. Girl finds out there is a terrific obstacle in the way of true love. Girl tries to forget him, but finds her days consumed with the thought of his nice smile, his nice eyes….
I try to shut down my feelings for this person, because I know deep inside this just isn't going to work out in the long run.
You know what comes next in the romance novel, don’t you?
Here’s what is likely to happen in your situation. Jehovah’s Witnesses are very concerned about external appearance. This covers such things as dress, clean-shaven, and soft-spoken. This is likely what you have fallen in love with. What this lovely exterior is covering, however, is a mass of insecurity and guilt. Also, for the sake of appearance, he should not be caught seen with a non-JW woman. This is likely what he will do, if you declare your interest and he is as nice as you say:
Blush and run. A few days later he will nicely tell you that Jehovah’s Witnesses are clean-living people who do not enter in to relationships lightly and is more “comfortable” dating someone who shares his faith. He will give you a brochure on the JW’s. Then he will blush and run.
If he is a JW heel, he won’t give you the whole run-down of his obligations to the religion, go on a few dates (in secret), have some fun, then have a fit of conscience. “It’s been nice playing around with a worldly girl, but I could never marry you.”
Buck , well said. You are living her dream. It’s not so pretty from the inside, is it? I agree, few JW’s come out and explain all the rules. They don’t want to look weird in front of regular folk.
I Quit, great idea. But how many of us would have a dozen “I told you so” folders in our drawer? And what would we do with the file after we blow it the umpteenth time? Buy a pack of beer and have a “poor me” night? One night of self-pity is well earned. But then we better dust ourselves off and open another file called “What Now?”
Dearie, I suggest another way. Fill your mind and days with other guys. Replace him in the gallery of your mind. I am serious. In case you don't take our advice just yet, I am betting you will be back to help deal with the heartbreak. Here’s a great link to a bunch of “What Now” stories.
Best of: I am married or in love with a JW.
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Valis
Please review this thread for more info on dating or being involved with a JW..oh and go find a nice worldly boy, you will save yourself a lot of heartache,,
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love2Bworldly
Welcome to the board--most of us nice people here on this forum are former JWs, as JWs are taught to stay away from the Internet and the terrible 'Apostates' who post supposedly false information about the witnesses.
If you want to set yourself up for a lot of heartache and pain, go ahead and date the Witness. But know what you are in for: if the Witness becomes inactive, he will wrestle the rest of his life on whether the Watchtower Society really teaches the 'Truth' of the Bible; if you have a child together--his guilt over the impending death of his child due to Jehovah deeming him as an evil 'worldly' person, that guilt will probably send him back to the Kingdom Hall so he can brainwash your child to that religion; if you are not converted over also--the elders in the JWs will teach your spouse that the religion will always always come before your marriage and you, and you will be negatively referred to as the 'unbelieving mate' that he will try forever to convert. As your child grows up if he/she becomes a JW--they will be taught that you are the 'unbelieving' parent, and if you and/or your spouse are a JW and are kicked out of the religion, that child is brainwashed to shun you and treat you as dead.
How's that for starters?
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Valis
jgnat! How dare you post the same link as me!!!????!!!!
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Gold
Hi to the Newest Newbie.
I encourage you to continue to learn as much as you can about this religion before you take anymore interest in this man. I am in a similar situation and understand how you feel right about now. I am one that needs to know both sides of anything. I began a very detailed research into this Organization (it's origin, beliefs, expectations) etc. Therefore, I am now in the best position to make my decisions when he confronts me with joining this Organization. Even through his wonderful smile, captivating eyes, loving hugs,,,,Whew,,,I digress are sometimes overwhelming,,,you have to look at the Big picture. My point being,,,,,arm yourself with the "Truth about the 'Truth' ". Then make your decision. Please read post by Pooka and myself and feel free to ask questions here,,,,this is the one site that seems to be able to address most issues. You may contact me if you have any questions about how I began and how I handle our "Relationship".
Love in Christ,
Gold
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Country_Woman
Hi AJNG99, welcome to the board.
I don't have advice - the others told you