by mtbatoon 48 Replies latest jw friends
I wasn't bullied but I felt constantly out of place and very green.
I decided not to put my kids through that and taught them at home
thankfully they aren't damaged too bad and both left the JWs at the same time as myself a few years ago
why should kids suffer
as a kid I got left out of everything at school as they knew my parents never let me do anything
I was bullied at school for dressing like a dork. My mother always told me "Jehovah's people are supposed to stand out." If I didn't wear what she told me to, she would beat me. However, by wearing what she told me to, the kids at school beat me. It was a lose-lose situation. Being a JW only made things worse.
I wouldn't thank the kids at school who beat me up on a daily basis. That, combined with my mother's beatings caused me to develope PTSD. The only way I would forgive them is if they actually apologized to me.
Nos,
My older brother (by 5 years) used to watch and laugh as they were beating me ... he's the one I don't forgive. With him, it was personal. With them, I was just one of the 'school targets'. I understand how you feel, though.
xo
tal
I think I bullied myself even more than any of the kids at school ever could have. I was teased plenty, but never beaten up (not for being a JW) but I think I had more good experiences with the worldly teachers and students than bad. People trusted me, they thought I was smart and dorky. I got to use one of my anecdotes up on the platform at the Kingdom Hall one night, talking about how there was a small robbery at our school bookstore where I worked, but no one suspected me because I was "too honest to steal." Spreading the good news about the young JW's sparkling reputations among the world! Later in my academic career, when asked out by boys I didn't find all that attractive, I could quietly let them know that, with all my regrets, my religion prohibited me from dating them. It would backfire on me later when a boy that I did like asked me out. Back to elementary school, here's a connection I've recently come up with, and let me see if any of you guys have the same kind of experience to report. Then I'll actually introduce myself and all. :) I actually think that growing up as a middle-class white female JW taught me a lot about Political Correctness and the use of inclusionary language. Do any of you remember having incredibly understanding teachers and friends, who would never flinch once upon hearing about your situation? Then, when arranging for the class Christmas party, they would go out of their way to call it a "Winter Celebration" just so you, one Jehovah's Witness student in a class of 29 normal kids, could join in? I mean, it rarely, if ever, worked. My parents wouldn't fall for the old language switch-er-oo, but years later, now I think about the effort made on my behalf. Those teachers owed me respect, but they didn't owe me any special favors. But every year they tried hard, and so did some of the students, changing the wording of things that were dear traditions to them just so I could enjoy a glass of punch and a cookie with everyone else. I think about that now when I hear people whine about "PC language." I remember a recent thread in an online political science class condemning language that refered to the giant Christmas tree in Rockerfeller Plaza as a "holiday tree" or something similar. "Why do we have to please everyone? Since when is Christmas about anyone but Christians?" and on and on, and the topic degenerated into PC language involving race and ethnicity and on and on. I think if those people ever had an experience like my own, they would understand just how important language is. And I thank the JW's for giving me that opportunity. I begrudge them for lots of other things though! Anyway, I'm new here. Long-time reader, first-time poster, anyway. And I want to thank the lot of you for hours and hours of amazing reading. I'm truly surprised at all the wit and wisdom I find here. As we all know, growing up in a cult can make one bitter and fragile, and well, to be frank, I'm just really shocked at all the humour I'm finding on this site. I nearly split my gut at the office yesterday with "Points from the Assembly we didn't attend.." Thanks so much. I look forward to posting and reading a lot more.
Welcome urbanized
Welcome Urbanized,
I will be looking forward to more of your posts.
Will
Do any of you remember having incredibly understanding teachers and friends, who would never flinch once upon hearing about your situation? Then, when arranging for the class Christmas party, they would go out of their way to call it a "Winter Celebration" just so you, one Jehovah's Witness student in a class of 29 normal kids, could join in? I mean, it rarely, if ever, worked
I know exactly what you're talking about. Now that I'm older and out of the JW religion, I've had time to think about this.
My music teacher in Elementary school saw that I had a real interest in music. My mother hated her, not just because she was a Protestan (sp?), but because this woman encouraged my interest in music. She was very keen on having me in the school choir, but my mother wouldn't let me under any circumstances. The two of them would argue at Parent-Teacher night. That teacher would try and comprimise, saying "He doesn't have to sing the Christmas songs or the National Anthem." My mother wouldn't have any of it.
Now, I wish I could get back in touch with that music teacher, thank her for trying to stick up for me, and apologize for all the difficulty my mother caused her.
Uraban: Welcome! Yes I too remember those "Winterized" things, and nope, they never did fly. But the teachers and other students did go way out of their way, it was nice.
It' annoys me now when I'm at work and we have Christmas music playing in the hallway and a coworker who is Jewish says she's offended by it and we need to turn it off. There are like 20 people working in this hall, and she is the only one offended. I so badly want to tell her that I was a JDub and never asked the stores to turn off their christmas music. It's just part of life, even if you chose not to celebrate. (And plenty of Jewish, Muslims, Hindus in the hallway (most of our docs and nurses are from other countries, no one complains but her.)
Danny Hazsard: Wow, I never even stopped and thought what it must have been like for the JWs on the day Kennedy died. Must have been awful.
Tal: So great to hear someone apologized to you. I'm sorry you went through all that.
I was only threatened/bullied when I tattled on other witnesses. I've thought of apologizing to them, but oddly enough, they're still in the truth, and I'm the one out. I'm afraid they'll now "tell on me"!
Welcome urbanized.
I was the baby in my family so whenever I was bullied for being a dub my siblings disposed of the problem for me.
I do remember worldly kids being jealous that I got to skip out of school early (though it was for service grrrrrrrr) often.
In my school there was also a large posse of witness kids in my grade alone, so that made it much easier too
Thank you everyone for the welcome! It's true, those teachers were priceless. Like an oasis in a desert of rigidity.
