RealElder, You just sent my BS meter into overdrive. If you really think you can come to this board and use sugary "love talk" and expect people to believe it, you are either simple or psychotic. How dare you try to preach unconditional love from an organization that wouldn't know it if it walked up and bit them on the ass. Also when you said, "It is entirely possible to love someone and still want nothing to do with them" you made me want to puke. To quote Gsark from below NO IT IS NOT. You may believe that WT drivel but this child ain't buying. Go back to the Kingdom Hall and beg for forgiveness for associating with apostates. I thought that was totaly against your rules, or did the GB turn on another switch and see some "new light".
I grew up hating the words "If you really love me......" or "If you really loved Jehovah....." they were always followed with some sort of selfish demand. No wonder it took me so long to learn how to accept real love, without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
closer
The less I seek my source for some definitive The closer I am to fine - Indigo Girls
Unconditional love is a myth. It is a matter of degree. To be in a relationship where love has to be proved day in and day out over trivial issues is sick. At the other extreme, to stay in a relationship where the other person or organization is sucking you dry is just as sick. At some point, you have to say, I don't love this person any more.
You have raised some excellent points, and I am always impressed with your ability to express things succinctly. I totally agree with you that it is possible to stop loving someone or something. Having had one marriage fail, because of being "sucked dry" as you so aptly put it...yes, I stopped loving him.
When I use the term unconditional love, I am not referring to never ending love, or dysfunctional relationships. Maybe I am not using the term correctly...but to me it means totally loving and accepting another person just as they are...warts and all, so to speak. With absolutely no intention of trying to change something about them, or wishing they would just believe the way I do...or any other conditions. You see them in all their glory, and what faults they may have, and decide that the beauty of the person is still tremendous! That is what unconditional love means to me. It is what I feel for my husband now, what I feel for my kids, and a few more dear ones. I don't hand it out carelessly...unconditional love is a choice, IMHO.
think41self
"When agnostics die, do they go to the great perhaps"?
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. In my own situation, my wife and I have been married for a looooong time. We have had some rocky times, and it wasn't until after many years that we both realized that we weren't going to change each other, so we both stopped trying to manage each other. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, and they weren't going to change. My wife knows that I do stupid things. Now, she just thinks, "Well, that's Larc, I've seen it before." By and large, both of our "batting averages", as far as what we do, are acceptable to each other, and I think that is what people should hope for and expect from each other.
Here is a list of what conditional love has made possible for me: 1) My mother did not attend my wedding. 2) My mother was not there at the birth of my children. 3) I had no mother to turn to for advice when I was a new mom. 4) My children have no relationship with their maternal grandmother. 5) I have had no mother to share joys and sorrows with. 6) My children wouldn't recognize my mother if they tripped over her on the street. 7) I was hit by a car a over a year ago, (that has left me with a permanently damaged knee) conditional love has made possible that my mother has never visited or called to see how I am doing. Real Elder you can take your "conditional love" and shove it up your ass. There is no excuse for being coldhearted. Are you people made out of stone? Conditional love has made my mother choose between a cult and her children. Unfortunately, I lost.
The Witness love (agape, which makes me want to puke when I hear that) is totally conditional. Total emotional blackmail to keep you in the borg. Stay in and tow the line or we won't "love" you anymore.
Unconditional love is real. I feel it to my children.
Not to be funny but our pets give us unconditional love and we give it to them back. Think about how much you hurt when you have to put a loved pet down.
Slipnslidemaster: "The gods too are fond of a joke." - Aristotle
Sounds to me like you and your wife have an excellent relationship. I am happy for you.
Just a suggestion, though. The next time she says "Well, that's Larc, I've seen it before," maybe you should try shaking it at her to get a reaction! Woohoo
I have clarify one thing. She never says that any more and neither do I, we just think it. That's why we get along. Now, as far as me shaking it. She wouldn't get upset by a little thing like that. he he
