My relationship has come to an end because of JW brainwashing

by MM090503 30 Replies latest jw experiences

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    (((MM))) so sorry for your loss; I hope he comes to his senses...and realises what side his bread is buttered on.

    DB74

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    im feelin ya

    amidst all the immense pleasure that your boyfriend's family, friends, congregation, and smug satisfaction of elders involved if there were any....that they got your boyf to do the 'right' thing

    they will pay no heed to the fact that another human being is hurting oh so very very much

    because you dont matter...because your feelings werent real..because you were a temptress only interested in using someone and stopping him from living forever

    been there

    and thats why im feeling ya

    i hope you got someone you can go to get you through this

  • sf
    sf

    Sorry for your pain. Truly.

    If I may say, his decision speaks volume on his level of intelligence. Seriously, after you have gone through The Grieving Process, you will see that a man that makes a blind choice, especially with the tools we have today to thoroughly research and examine all aspects of an organization disguised as a true religion, is not a man at all.

    It's very telling on what your life would become if you made a choice to stay with him.

    There are good men out there that won't blindly convert to something as insane as this organization.

    Take a hot bath, have a good cry and dust yourself off.

    Tomorrows a brand new day and your freedom awaits you. Live with yourSELF awhile and get to know HER. You'll be surprised.

    Take good care.

    Sincerely, sKally

  • Thegoodgirl
    Thegoodgirl

    Sorry to hear it, Meg. Hey, how were you to know? The same thing happens with everyone. My mom got into the cult, and My dad asked her dad, what should we do? And my Grandpa said "just let her try it out, she'll get tired of it after a while." 25 years later...

    Not your fault. Sorry he doesn't see it now, maybe someday he'll be sorry he lost your relationship.

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    MM,

    I am so sorry you're relationship became a victim to this religion. I'm sure now you know where you stand. When I was married to a JW for 25 years, she always told me I was 2nd in her life. Her religion was always #1 and it shows, we are now divorced and we raised all our kids as Witnesses.

    Be grateful you did not marry and have children. I've lost my children to shunning -- after I taught them this religion ! That is ironic and very sad. Just a few weeks ago, I said "something" that seemed 'anti-JW' to one of them who I had a good relationship with again. I'm not even sure "what" I said, but I am now accused of 'apostacy' and I've been told that is an "unforgivable sin".

    Now, I'm told there will never be any kind of relationship possible again. From my own child.

    I know you still have your pain. It would have only gotten worse, later on. I hope that will make it a little easier. Sadly, this happens everyday , all over the world to relatives and friends of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Hang around, you're always welcome.

    Rabbit

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    One of the most clever aspects of the art of WTS recruitment is to constantly feed them with negativity by former friends and relatives.

    When one is "studying" the bible---WTS style---they are told that these people (who have been in their lives since Day One) are jealous of their new-found faith and want to put a stop to it.

    They will also be told that these "worldy" people are "from Satan" ad are doing his bidding in order to keep them from learning about the bible. (hah)

    They will tell them that because they aren't engaging in their former lifestyle (holidays, birthdays, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at the races or Ballgames, etc) that they are now "cleaning their lives up" and not "sinking into ther lives of debauchery" as they used to do........so no matter WHAT you may or may not have said------the WTS always has a comeback to cover the situation.

    Anyone or anything that "stands in the way" of the Troof, is evil and to be avoided. THEN they "lovebomb" the recruits so that they will "see" all the new friends they have who are "pleasing Jehovah" and they will leave everyone else in the dust. It's a well-programmed and well thought out series of moves to win these recruits over---------and sad to say---it works.

    I'm sorry that you're hurting. It really stinks, but they know exactly what they are doing (the WTS) by duping these folks who think they are really pleasing God. It's a powerful force to reckon with. Unfortunately your BF doesn't have the slightest notion of what he has gotten himself into.

    We're here if you need us at any time ........

    hugs,

    Annie

  • Buck
    Buck

    I understand what you are going through. My gf is a dedicated JW. Iam being fashioned into exactly what she wants. A unquestioning loyalist to JW authority. Iam not sure what to do either.

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    The pain I feel is horrible and I can't help but feel this is all my fault. When he first began studying I left it alone as no big deal. Now I kick myself in the but for doing it.

    Boy do I know that feeling.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    So sorry to read this. All the "it will be oks" in the world won't stop the hurt. I just hope you know it's not your fault, and maybe you can one day see he was a little weaker in some areas than you, as you could so easily see what was wrong with the org.

    Sometimes we want the good to override the bad so much in our relationships, we decide we can "settle" for this, or "deal" with that, when if it is what it is supposed to be in the first place, we shouldn't have to.

    I hope you find a pleasant distraction soon, and try not to hang on and cause yourself more pain, sometimes if we just let go, what we really need finds us.

    Best wishes

    WLG

  • M.J.
    M.J.

    So sorry about what happened.

    But I applaud you for not compromising your integrity. It is a very tough thing to do the sensible thing when emotions run so deep. Lesser persons may have caved in and agreed to become a JW just to hang on to the relationship.

    Please, find people to support you and to talk to. But remember most people don't understand how this religion can be so divisive. Most people have no concept of why anyone should break up over religion. Find people who understand. Do what you can to recover and minimize the possibility of reconsidering your decision. Keep posting here! I wish you the best.

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