I'd like to thank each and every one of you who posted on this thread for your supportive, insightful answers. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to the board (long day at work, and then a school function I had to attend.)
After darkuncle29 cleared my head enough to realize this isn't about me, it's about my son. From many of your comments it became clear that I SHOULD ask him if he's had sex. So, I did. The conversation sort of ensued in this way. He came in to give me my "good-night" kiss, so I took the opportunity and asked him. He said "no." So then I asked him if he'd tell me if he had. He kind of looked at me reluctantly and said, "well you'd kill me if I had." I said he'd just told me he was bisexual, and I think that kind of "took the cake." (I said it in a kind tone, and with a smile on my face.) So I asked him again, and he said "no." He then went on to say, "Don't you think it would have been worse if I told you I was on Crystal Meth?" I agreed, that would definatly be worse.
So then I asked him how he knew he was bisexual if he'd never had sex. He said, "it's hard to explain, mom." My gut tells me he's setting me up, and that he will ultimately sway to the homosexual side. He asked if I was disappointed. I said that I wasn't. It's just that I know that it's not an easy life with some people's views toward homosexuality, including that of our mostly JW family.
This morning when we got up, I kept it like any other morning. He asked about that. I said that nothing's really changed. He's the same person he was yesterday when we got up, and that I love him as much today as I loved him yesterday. What he told me doesn't change how I feel about him. He seemed content with that.
they have probably been calling him 'gay' at school for years
Even his sisters, who are now quite supportive of him, have been calling him "girlie-man" for years.
Google on keywords "puberty" "bisexuality"
Thank you Richard, Great idea, and I'm going to do that. (From the "duh - why didn't I think of that" class).
Get some male influence in his life
That may be a great idea. His dad left when he was 18 months old and hasn't been around much since. When his father does come around, it's hard for him to look up to him. He usually lives in Calgary, and is a drug abuser. During his last visit here to see his kids, he spent 2 weeks on the psych ward. Then there was his idiot step-father (still involved with the JW's) who was physically abusive to him. He got a 3 month sentence and 1 year probation for threatening us. I have another son from that marriage. He's 8, but is mentally challenged in the "mild" range. My older son is so good to him. However, I don't think he's ever going to have a "brother" relationship with him in the "normal" sense of the term. He's really had no good male input in his life. But like Evil Force says, it probably won't change his sexuality - whichever way he may go.
he MAY have had the experience with an OLDER man( pedifile( spelt wrong) He may be TRYING to disguss it with you.
Mouthy, I have discussed this with him. I'm very diligent when it comes to this sort of thing. I was abused by "brothers" (including an elder) so I am very cautious and always ask questions.
and lastly,
... all I can say is MAKE THE EFFORT... and be there for them NO MATTER WHAT!
U/D, what great advice. I'm going to use it.
Thank you ALL for your input. I feel at peace - no matter what, I will be there for him.
Rose
