Bi-Sexual

by misguided 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    right on cue.... EvilForce...

    I knew you'd be the first to reply... but suffice it to say.... I AGREE.

    What I was saying had nothing to do with sexuality... rather being BALANCED. No different than a male child raised by a dad and 4 brothers needs (I feel) the "balance" of some female influence in his life. The whole Yin/Yang kinda thing.

    When things are as balanced as they can be (and many sitch's aren't) then optimum results can be better attained. So whatever the outcome... the person will still have more exposure and "balance".

    Of course, you carry a heavy bias towards homosexuality... you are one. Just as I'm not. But I'm in no way anti-gay. It's just not me. Anyway I didn't want to ruffle any gay feathers out there... just trying to help Mom out with my insignificant opinion.

    Peace.

    u/d

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I DON'T even want to ask if he's had sex. Although I don't think he has, but I'm afraid to ask just in case the answer is yes, because I'm not sure I'm ready for that. He's a pretty good kid, and doesn't usually do things to "shock" me.

    My advice for what it is worth...Please ask him if he has had sex.! You sound like a trusting MUM.The only reason I suggest this is because he MAY have had the experience with an OLDER man( pedifile( spelt wrong) He may be TRYING to disguss it with you.

    I have just learned in the last month that a person I love dearly is bi. I was shocked at first. But he explained he had been wrestling with this for years,After much thought I have come to the conclusion- as long as we can have an open discussion & he knows I love him no matter what he is ( or does) But I am here for him to talk out his feelings....

    After all the teaching we had in the WT..We are learning on exiting that there are WONDERFUL folk out there in the WORLD ( a nasty thing to the WT)Who have had to wrestle with life alone- when we may not have all the answers but we sure can give a shoulder to lean on. & Love them PERIOD!!!

  • upside/down
    upside/down
    I guess I'm more shocked at a 13 or 12 year old even having sex!



    It's too bad "modern" man has become such...

    Whatever happened to kids being "kids"... building forts, running in empty fields with their dogs, sling shots, having scuffles, running to Mommy when hurt, trying to kiss a girl or sneak a peek up her dress (you know you tried it...) going days without watching TV cause there was so much to do?

    All grown up at 13... what a shame.

    Man I love my kids... (and I know everyone here loves their kids too) they have really been good "kids" and the real, scary, mean, adult world doesn't deserve them.

    u/d

  • sonnyboy
    sonnyboy
    Call me old fashioned but how could a kid that age even know?

    Didn't you know that you were attracted to girls (or whomever) at the age of 13?

    Misguided: The worst thing you can do is dismiss his feelings as false due to age. I'd recommend being supportive no matter how his sexual orientation develops. If you back him into a corner, he'll simply become withdrawn and depressed. Many GLBT teens commit suicide or other abusive behaviors because their families can't accept them for whom they are.

    One of my best friends is a drug counselor who works primarily with youths (she has a degree in child psychology). She said that many of the kids she counsels began taking drugs because they were gay and their parents either told them they were wrong, or the kids believed that their families would shun them because of it.

    One 17 year old kid she sees is currently in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. After his fundamentalist family discovered his sexuality (he was outed by a former partner who he'd been seing for three years), they reprimanded him thoroughly and told him how sinful he was for thinking of men in that manner. As time went by he began cutting himself, drinking excessively, and taking hard-core narcotics. He ultimately ended up taking a bottle of Tylenol, yet he called 9/11 himself. Talk about your cries for help.

    If I were you, I'd simply tell my son that I love him unconditionally. Don't be judgmental in any way, because we can't pick and choose our desires.

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    U/D...points well taken, however in light that she asked about her son's sexuality and if he had too much female influence which may have caused this.

    I just wanted to clarify that this isn't the reason for his sexuality and if for some reason she had a man around the house somehow the boy would have turned out differently.

    EvilForce of the - MUST GET COFFEE...CAN"T FORM A SENTANCE THIS MORNING class.

  • upside/down
    upside/down
    we can't pick and choose our desires.

    Funny, that's what pedophiles say too...

    Just a thought...

    u/d

  • sonnyboy
    sonnyboy
    we can't pick and choose our desires.

    Funny, that's what pedophiles say too...

    Very true...pedophiles most likely can't control their desires, but are you comparing the act of pedophilia to that of consensual, homosexual sex?

    There is no comparison. Pedophiles harm others, and harmful desires should not be acted upon. I often have the desire to break out a crow bar and beat the hell out of the little old lady who just cut me off and won't go over 45 mph. I also have the desire to have sex without a condom, do the drugs I did as a teenager, drink until I pass out, and eat delicious, fattening food every day of the week.

    That doesn't mean I should do it.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    Exactly!

    But these people come from somewhere...

    Studies (vague I know) show that many deviants had very "unbalanced" and usually UNHAPPY up-bringings. Not all... but many.

    My upbringing was WAY UNBALANCED and very unhappy and yet I'm a law abiding productive member of society... despite being a Dub for 20 years... so I agree we all make choices and reap the consequences...

    I'm just saying send kids off into life as "balanced" as possible... that's all.

    u/d

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    I wanted to addthat if there is sexual play involved it is not being a prude or repressive to discourage it. Make clear that if he has had some sort of contact with other children he is not a freak but that sexual activity is an adult activity with an emotional aspect that children just cannot comprehend. I was involved with a case wherein a 13 has contact with an 11 y.o. girl and it had huge consequences when the mother of the girl called the police. The boy had to go to counseling and the parents nearly lost the boy to the courts.

    IMO. Sexual roles are not as fixed as we may want to believe. Therefore the lables gay, bi and hetero are often misleading. What I mean is that a penis or clit doesn'tcare who is touching it. It feels good. This is why I think many wonder if they are gay or bi. While i do respect the findings of a genetic link to homosexuality, I also have known some who are left very confused even as adults because they were aroused or felt pleasure in a homosexual contact when young. For these psychological and legal reasons and others it is wise to discourage sexual play in children.

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon


    This is off topic, but

    It's too bad "modern" man has become such...

    Whatever happened to kids being "kids"... building forts, running in empty fields with their dogs, sling shots, having scuffles, running to Mommy when hurt, trying to kiss a girl or sneak a peek up her dress (you know you tried it...) going days without watching TV cause there was so much to do?

    All grown up at 13... what a shame

    The "Gee Pop" utopia (something like 1950's middle-class suburban America) never existed outside of Society illustrations. It didn't even exist at the time people think it did.

    Pre-history

    Girls were paired-off shorly after they were fertile, boys generally had to be enough of a man for a woman to consider pairing with them. Children were expected to take up adult tasks as they were able to perform them; in a hunter-gather society a four-year-old can gather 1/3rd of it's own food.

    BC era

    Mostly as pre-history, except hunter-gathering mostly died out and primative pastoralism and early agriculture became the norm. Both involved children in work from an early age.

    AD era

    Mostly as BC era. Church law in Europe set age-of-consent at 12 for girls. Children typically worked with their parents learning their skills from an early age.

    Basically, if you look at things from a historical perspective, an average 13-15 year-old female would already be operating as an adult through most of human-kinds history, including sexually and reproductively, with boys maybe being a little later reproductively speaking.

    Historically speaking our kids are now freaks. They have an educational level far higher than most adults ever attained 100 years ago at a point where their bodies are flooded with hormones and changing. They live in a society where they are not expected to do what daddy or mummy did, where they will not be considered freakish if they're not married off by 18, where they have their own rights and protections under law. They are physically adult (as in fertile), albeit unmature YEARS before they are regarded as adults, and funnily enough desire goes hand-in-hand with fertiltity, unless you live in a sexually repressive society which we do not, although some try to keep it that way.

    We should concentrate on helping these brave new people deal with the world they are actually in, rather than trying to get them to conform to quasi-mythical expectations of a gone era it is now unreasonable to expect them to conform to.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit