James, what "tools" does a person have to develope or learn to use to go exploring themselves?
Good question. There is basically only one tool, one probing light we go exploring with: our attention. Consciously aware observation.
We can start with one question, one goal: Who am I? What is true? (really the same question phrased differently). It helps to stop trying to figure out the rest of the world for a while; lets get this one fundamental piece in place first. Let's discover who/what we really are, and then, if there are more questions we can move on with clearer vision.
Be attentive. Open-up awareness that it may see what may have been missed before. Remember, we are not out to add anything to us, or learn some new "truths". We are investigating our own sense of being, to see if there is more here already that may have been ignored or missed or hidden.
How do we become more attentive? How do we brighten and widen the beam of our tool, our light of awareness? The first step is to become aware of awareness. One way to do this is become very aware of your breathing. Really feel what it is to breath. Run the light of your attention through the body, and notice the movement of the diaphragm, the feelings in the throat, the coolness of the air as it passes in and out the nostrils, the tingly warm vibration in the tummy... really be with breathing, without any mental commentary or judgment, gently be with this present moment of breathing and aliveness in you. Become aware of the awareness that is watching, that which is holding and embracing breathing. As you silently witness breathing, notice that it all happens in a spaciousness, an openness of silent awareness.
This awareness can be practiced while walking, or doing the dishes, or scrubbing your teeth, or driving the car. Simply become aware of the aliveness of the present moment however it may be expressing within and around you. Be aware that you are aware. Note the difference of what the moment is like when you are openly aware and present, and when you are enclosed within mental thought, commentary, fantasy and judgment. Be aware of whats going on. Be aware of the distinct difference in being present with life, and being present with a mental and conceptual commentary and facsimile of life. Be attentive, right here, right now. Be with what IS.
During this active investigation, do not judge anything you see, or make a story about it, or try and place anything in a mental box. Allow for an atmosphere of openness, gentleness and kindness. Allow what IS to reveal it's secrets. Watch how thoughts arise and steal attention away from the moment of life. Watch the dance and dynamics of the mind and the moment. A dance between what we believe ourselves to be, and what we really are.
The more we are attentive and present, the less thought interrupts unnecessarily, and the more awareness and presence. The more awareness of consciousness, the vaster it is seen to be, and it is clearly realized that Consciousness is by far the closest and most intimate of our Being. It can not be objectified as the body, emotions and thoughts can be.
Moments arise where identity with the body and mind fades, and the vast indescribable purity and holiness (for lack of a better word) of Consciousness is realized as our true Being (far more real than what we for so long believed ourselves to be)....and that of everyone and everything. Which makes for a wonderful sense of unity and oneness as apposed to a broken and fragmented many.
Please do not take my word for any of this, or add it to some bag of beliefs. This makes kids play out of the Matrix movie, and it has to be seen first hand, or not at all. Sincerity and earnestness are key. Perhaps these are the batteries with the Light of Awareness.
Who/what, am I, really???
j