Simese Jehovahs Witness Turns Apostate

by gumby 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    What if one of the twins decided to picket a kingdom hall- LOL

    Dave

  • gumby
    gumby

    What if one was a clumbsy bastard and he cut off his foot with the lawn mower and needed a transfusion and the dub refused one.

    There ain't anyone here who is a dub siamese lurker who peeks at this site while his twin is sleepin or anything is there?

    I'd like to see a court case with these scenario's. The dub one would prolly win and the heathen would hafta eat crow the rest of his poor ass life.

    Gumby

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Dammit -- I just remembered...what's that scripture about "if a body member 'sins' ya' gotta whack it off?"

    Poor heathen bastard, I hope the force is with him...

    rabbit

  • Rod P
    Rod P

    I'm still tryin' ta figure out how the JW twin can do field service.

    This householder comes to the door and sees the twins. The JW twin delivers his spiel, and the 'postate twin argues with him.

    What's the poor householder s'posed to think?

    And what happens at the Kingdom Hall, if the 'postate twin pretends he's a JW, same as his brother? Now the JW twin always tells the truth, and the 'postate twin always lies. Which one do they talk to, since they couldn't tell them apart? And if they talked to the wrong one, do they get disfellowshipped for breakin' the rules?

    Rod P.

  • steve2
    steve2

    This thread has had me reaching for the Panadol, but I'm determined to stay the course.

    What if the disfellowshipped Siamese twin had a change of heart (one or two?) and wanted to return to J-dubdom just when the other "faithful" twin started to doubt the Watchtower? These twins have such dreadful individual timing.

    Maybe even at that point the judicial committee could be forgiven for screaming "We quit!" as they rush headlong out of the Kingdom Hall into a street full of fast moving vehicles. Splat!

  • gumby
    gumby

    What if the heathen wants to get a tattoo on his shoulder, and it's the shoulder that's attached to his brother and the tattoo guys accidentally gets a little on the witness twins shoulder?

    What if the Apostate wants to dress worldly and the witness doesn't want reproach brought on him? What if the apostate becomes suicidal for being shunned by mom and dad and the witness has to watch him pop prozac all the time?

    What if the apostate has bad dreams from being shunned and tosses and turns in bed all night and tells his nagging dub brother he can't help it?

    Gumby....

    *starts going nuts and eats his boogers*

  • steve2
    steve2

    And then there's the (w)hole issue of self-pleasuring versus guilt-induced restraint.

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    and reach-arounds...

  • gumby
    gumby

    I figured out how to fix the dilema. The twins need to have sleeping shifts. The apostate can sleep during the day and early evenings while the dub does his witness stuff and works and makes the money, and the dub one can sleep from 10pm till about 8 in the morning while the apostate parties all night.

    Gumby

  • doodle-v
    doodle-v

    Gumby you sick bastard..

    What if one of the heathen twins was fornicatin n'stuff, would the other twin complain to the elders for havin to sleep in the wet spot?

    -Doodle-V

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