The most condescending thing said to you by the (sm)elders.

by diamondblue1974 67 Replies latest jw experiences

  • diamondblue1974

    I wasnt the most academic of children although I had some capability but I could read quite well by the time I was 4 years old at least for my age; I have always read as a child and still read now as an adult both professionally (research) and for pleasure. I have always been able to write too...and pretty much advanced as well as my peers did in School...perhaps I am lucky, I certainly feel like I am when illiteracy amongst adults and children is rife at present...however.

    I remember when I was 16 the WTS in the UK were pushing through a scheme teaching those who were not as able to read and write...and an elder in the hall made a point of coming to me and suggesting that I should actually attend the training!!!....I explained that I could read and write well enough and didnt need to be taught basic literacy... he said that I might learn something new and should respect Jehovahs order of things and show appreciation...I did decline his kind offer rather abruptly....but WTF?? Needless to say I didnt attend but how condescending....especially so when hearing him read the Watchtower on a sunday morning was bloody painful.

    It cant be the only incident where the elders have made remarks like this so I thought I would ask you lot about your experiences.

    Whats been the most condescending thing said to you by an elder?

  • Crumpet

    I can't believe he said that to you - I definitely felt that some of the things said by elders were designed to put you down rather than upbuilt.

    I mean how many people felt upbuilt after a shepherding call? They only ever came round if there was some sort of problem and to be honest I never felt very encouraged.

    Elders wives could be the worst - their noses were so long i'm surprised they could even see who they were speaking to!

  • diamondblue1974
    I definitely felt that some of the things said by elders were designed to put you down rather than upbuilt.

    I think you have hit the nail on the head there definately was nothing to do with genuinely trying to improve my skills was it?

  • zaphod

    one morning, while on the ministry with a particularly pompous elder, i began humming a tune from the mikado.

    "oh," he quipped and looked rather surprised, " i wouldn't have thought you would listen to gilbert and sullivan."

    he could have meant that he presumed that i would be into far more high-brow music and that i would not waste my time on frivolous fancies such as light comedy operettas.

    i suspect that he presumed, due to my socio-economic background, that i was more into kylie and boyzone.

    if we had ever had a proper conversation in the nine years i associated with the congregation he would have found out that i like some of the work of all of the above and lots more besides. but we never did.


  • googlemagoogle

    that didn't happen to me, but i feel the way they changed the bible-reading (#2 in tms) to only reading without any comment is really embarrassing.

  • Dismembered


    :Whats been the most condescending thing said to you by an elder?

    There have been many, but here's one of the many. Not sure if this falls under the "condescension" catagory, or more like I should have kicked him in the balls catagory.

    A few years after going through painful divorce, one of the many bedpartners my ex-wife was with, was discovered to have brain cancer. He had not been going to meetings for years, and pooh-poohed the fact that he was D'fed. He could not have cared less about the fact the he was instrumental in destroying a young family back then, until one day he found out he had only months to live. His brain cancer was terminal.

    To avoid what they thought they'd be bloodgulity for, the elders/taliban reinstated him in about a month or so of his returning to meetings. I was shocked 1 month. So upset about the announcement I go up to the PO at the end of the meeting and said "He's reinstated already? What's up with that? The Pig PO told me that I had an attitude problem, and that the only one I was hurting, with an attitude like I had was myself.

    In other words don't you dare question anything we do or say. You peon little sheep.



  • Scully

    When I was suffering from postpartum depression, an elder said to me "I hear you're having trouble adjusting to motherhood."

    It made me want to knee him in the groin and say "I hear you're having trouble adjusting to manhood."

  • 95stormfront

    Had elders in my home on humerous occasions trying to "shepherd" me back into the congregation when I decided i needed to go back to school. There, sitting on my couch, they began to ask me probing questions in a very condescending tone about my schedule and proceeded to tell me how it would interfere with the "more important things" of meeting attendance and feild service.

    Granted, I was totally out by then, had stopped attending regularly and had never been in feild service since moving into the territory.

    One of them told me point blank and I quote,"I'm in that business you're trying to get into and I can tell you, you'll never make anymore then $5 or $6 dollars an hour even when you finish school. What a waste of time! It would be so much better for you if you spent that time at meetings and out in service, engaged in more important things."

    It was at the time tha tall the "red flag" feelings I were having about about the org.......I guess all I can say is that the light finally flicked on.

  • diamondblue1974

    Im a firm believer that condecending comments are the elders ways of trying to manipulate you into coming to their conclusions as opposed to your own. They will never on a matter of conscience ever say that you are wrong but show you scriptures or paragraphs on the conclusions you should manipulative...


  • jeanniebeanz

    This comment was the most condescending. Keep in mind that my ex husband was/is an alcoholic who used to drink more than a 12 pack of Bud every night and a case on sat and sun for 15 years, but that the elders in the willits congregation were themselves very heavy drinkers and did not want to address the issue...

    "Your husband cannot be an alcoholic as you presume since he told us that he had the ability to go without alcohol for three days."

    Consequently, I was told to drop it or else be guilty of 'bearing false witness against my brother'.

    My battered body wishes to thank the willits body of elders for their wonderful sexist discrimination in sheparding the flock.


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