What stupid things did you confess to the elders?

by sweet tee 50 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal

    Years ago I turned myself in for a one-time small infraction. The elder wanted to know if there was immorality involved. I assured him there was not (there wasn't). He looked at me as though he doubted me. I was privately reproved. Still don't know what difference it made to me. I think I couldn't comment out loud for a time. If somebody didn't tell me I was reproved I would never have known!


  • kittyeatzjdubs

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGZ))))))))))))))))))))))) for all the poor jdub kids who have or will get the crap beaten out of them b/c of the loving guidance of the elders.

    luv, kitty

  • ValiantBoy

    Turned myself in for masturbating...regretted that one for a long time,,the elder would ask me from time to time if I had "gota handle on my problem?" I always thought he got a good laugh out of it.

  • tetrapod.sapien

    i never told them anything, even if i had to lie to them. i guess i just never thought that another human really had the right to know. i had a "friend" turn me in for drinking whisky with a worldly girl. when the elders confronted me, i laughed. they didn't like that. ;)

  • Dismembered

    I had to fink on myself for renting a "hard R" movie. What a crock of stool. I still believe some elders go home after judicial meetings like that, and polish their rockets/german soldiers.


    "Don't you go dyin' on me now"

  • LongHairGal


    I love your expression "polish the rocket" ha, ha. That is why I learned my lesson. There are certain things you shouldn't tell the elders (especially if you are woman).

    I find it hard to believe they don't form dirty pictures in their head if you are stupid enough to tell them about your problem with MB or immorality, etc. In some cases, you may give them ideas!!


  • Dismembered

    Touche & Ditto Longhairgal


    "Don't you go dyin' on me now"

  • aniron

    This is not mine but my cousins story.

    He had been brought up a JW. Pioneered for a while. MS at 21.

    Then at the age of 28 was caught having sex. Trouble was it was sex with a guy, another JW brother. Well it hit the fan didn't it. They came before the old JC. By then he had told me they were going to admit to it and leave on a high note. As he told me later. They're before the JC and the Elders go through the usual tut-tut self righteous stuff. Then an Elders says was that the first time they had done it. My cousin goes "Oh no, we been doing it since we were 16" (actually as he told me later they been doing it since they were 14) other guy says "Oh yeah we have" Cue one Elder nearly falling off his seat. "When, where " they ask. My cousin says "Usually when we should have been on field service. We either go to my parents house or his parents. We knew when no one would be in. Also when at conventions, thats why we always stayed at a hotel." Knowing my cousin he probably said this with a big smile on his faced.

    One Elder says "Thank goodness there's only you two in the congregation" My cousins partner says "What makes you think that?" The Elder says "Well there can't be anymore" To which my cousin says "I have met more gays, in "Jehovah's organisation", than I have done outside it"

    Needless to say that they were both disfellowshipped.

  • unbeliever


    that is too funny, I hope they are happy living their lives guilt free and out of the borg.

  • Dan-O

    "That my unbelieving husband was growing/selling pot."

    Given the way they treat reports of child abuse, sexual abuse, and other criminal activities, I hope the elders were smart enough to not phone the cops unless you had a second witness to this alleged marijuana.

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