"I can't stop thinking about Jehovah's Witnesses!" (page 2)

Jez

Yup, I agree. Someday, hopefully soon, I will say good-bye to people here. I stay now because I want to help the Newbies, those still having a hard time getting out, those confused, etc. If experienced ones leave, who will support the ones that need it? But you are right, I also can't help but feed myself by reading other info about JWs. I don't know, I am addicted to this site and it is not because I NEED it necessarily, it is because it empowers me to gain as much knowledge and strength as I can. If and when I am ready to leave, I'll know.

I I don't want to live like an ex-JW anymore.

Jez

Big Dog

Logan, I think you made some excellent observations though I believe that the reasons people come here are as many and varied as their stories. I think this forum is like anything else, some people may stay a short while, while others might never leave and as long as its not unhealthy that's fine. I think for many this place is sort of like a VFW post, where people with a shared experience can sit around and socialize and feel comfortable because of that shared experience. They can rant about the WBTS it if they want or talk about something completely unrelated, but there is always that underlying common experience tying them together. Taking a break once in a while, good advice regarding just about anything, work, school, etc. I also agree that if coming to this site is keeping a person from moving on in their life, then possibly it isn't healthy for them and they should eliminate it. From what I have seen in my couple of months here most have moved on with their lives, but find some value in posting here for whatever reasons. It seems very common as well with many support groups that people that have gone through the process often become counselors or volunteers to help others and there is obvious value to that.

As for treating others the way you would like to be treated, excellent advice. I have done that with my family which are mostly still JW's, but I find that they are not nearly as tolerant when I mention what I did over the holidays as they expect me to be when they talk about going to assemblies or make derogatory comments about other faiths or individuals. Just my experience there.

love11

(If you treat people as if they will like you, often your attitude will show and they will like you better.)

I've found that advice to work only with people who don't already have a biased view of you. You can be perfect and the jw's will find something wrong with you.

dwell on past and present pains

Dwelling is stagnate, reflecting is growth. imho

wanderlustguy

I keep coming back because this place makes me feel like I'm not crazy.

One day...maybe I can move on, but it's nice to be reminded that it's ok to feel the way I do.

For me it means I'm not alone.

logansrun

LT,

Of course, you have to admit, your situation is a little bit different, some would even say extreme. You publically disassociated yourself at the end of a public talk. Don't you think if you just stopped attending meetings they would treat you differently? I think so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have done what you did, nor am I saying that all JWs will treat walk-aways kindly if the ex-Witness is kind themselves. I have been shunned by some JWs and been given hugs by some JWs. It's all situational, and I am merely stating one possible method of treating the situation, one which usually gets overlooked on this site.

doogie,

you then proceed to tell everyone still reading that they SHOULD take some time away from the board.

Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough when I stated:

I'm not saying that there is not a fair amount of processing that needs to be done by a former JW. There is much that has to be talked about. But, to think that one must constantly go back and re-hash the "awful past" and the "terrible Watchtower" seems rather silly, if you ask me.

That clarifies the point that I believe some amount of good is done by coming here.

B.

doogie

LR:

i gotcha. sorry for the confusion.

i was just referring to your final statement:

Take some time away from this board. It will change your perceptions of the organization and your relation to it.

this is not necessarily true for everyone. i know that when i initially left, i was so conflicted. i felt like there was only one correct way to leave and since i was having a hard time, i figured i was "doing it wrong". there's no such thing. there's only what's right or wrong for YOU. for some people its far more cathartic to hang out on boards like this rather than convince themselves that they shouldn't need to.

BrendaCloutier

Good thread Bradly, good posts everyone.

When a person is recovering, be it from a high control group, or addiction (alcohol/drugs), the focus is very narrow for a while on the addiction and all of the influence on this addiction.... or JW's. This is necessary to begin to understand the nature of our psycological actions and reactions to our addictive or JW programming. They both go very deep into our psyche especially if we were raised in the Truth(tm), or around alcoholic family.

I have found similar solice on this board, with others who know the depth of influence and depth of fear regarding JW-ism. Unless you've been there, or similar, a person just doesn't comprehend this.

The same is true fro alcoholism/drug addiction. If you havent lived through it, you just dont know what it's really like.

Both, JWism and Alcohlism, are extremely pervasive.

JWD and the process of recovery, as with AA helps, to focus on the addiction, understand the nature of it, then learn to take responsibility for our own past and present actions, and put the actions of others past and present, in their proper place.

The a 2nd addiction happens. Addiction to AA (NA MA CA CoDA etc) and Addiction to JWD happens. Fill one hole with another addiction. This is where i'm at. However:

I'm "stuck" at home all day. I have little outside contact, so JWD has become my social group.

Unfortunately, because of this JWD addiction, I get very little done during my short days, spending 3-5 hours per day here!

Oh well. Progress, not perfekshun.

Hugs

Brenda

Undecided

It was so much a part of my life when I was in my youth that every road I go down I remember something connected with fieldservice. Someone lived there that went to the KH, a bible study, congregation book study there, etc.

I can't forget my past, so I just deal with it, it doesn't bother me. It brings back good memories many times of my family and my past with them. Sometimes I actually miss those days with my JW family who are all dead now. I've had a good life and wish I could live it all over again. I have no regrets.

Ken P.

upside/down

If you think people are out to get you, you will behave as if they were out to get you.

But I am out to get you!

u/d (of the "they're out ta get me, I'm f*ckin innocent class) -GnR

love2Bworldly

Maybe you are right for some people but not everyone. I have been out of the JW's since the 80's but have learned so much from people who post here. I do have times when I start feeling really angry toward the WTBTS for all the lives they have ruined and continue to do so after spending a lot of time here. But mostly I have benefited from being able to laugh at what I used to be involved with, and that is very healing to me personally. I have only been using this site for a couple of weeks, but I am having an awsome time often laughing until I cry at some of these wonderful and good-humored people who are just trying to survive like myself.

I feel like I have made new friends, even though I don't know them or will ever meet them. I had no idea so many people have left the JWs. Didn't they used to always talk about the 'great multitude' who were converted at the last minute? I think they really meant the 'great multitude' who were going to leave it.

"I can't stop thinking about Jehovah's Witnesses!"

Share this