Family ,what would you do

by kls 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Life is definately too short for hate....and whilst she hasnt behaved in a particularly moral manner it is right that even for your own purposes you must silence the voice in your head.

    Theres an old saying...better to regret the things you have done as opposed to those you have'nt...go and make your peace...at least then you can rest in the knowledge that you did all you could.

    Good luck...

    DB

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    the advice above sounds good. hugs kls.

  • kls
    kls

    You guys are giving me what i need, many things to think about and it does so help to hear what others would do but i wonder if i can ever forgive ,i know i can never forget and the hurt runs so deep.

    Thank-you my friends for helping me decide because i am very confused if there is to much hate or somewhere in me i need to see her and settle that voice that says to let it go.For now i will read your comments and do much soul searching before it is to late.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    One more thing, you do not have to forgive. It is nice to find peace, though. If you do forgive, it's purely for yourself and your own peace of mind.

    S

  • bem
    bem

    I cannot say anything better than has been said, I agree tho' you have no reason to forgive her unless it's for your own sanity, Take care of yourself do what needs to be done, to live peacefully within yourself.

    Hoping for the best for you ((((((KLS))))) Dorothy

  • talesin
    talesin

    kls, --- What Satanus said.

    t

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    I would do whatever would bring you the greatest peace. If she's braindead, she won't even know you visited. Do what you need for yourself.

    Bryan

    Have You Seen My Mother

  • Dragonlady76
    Dragonlady76

    Satanus said,

    One more thing, you do not have to forgive. It is nice to find peace, though. If you do forgive, it's purely for yourself and your own peace of mind.

    So true KLS, this is good advice.

    Dragonlady76

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    ((((kls))))

    I'm sorry you have this unsettling in your soul, it's very hard to live with and takes a lot of energy to contain it, energy that I'm sure you could use for better things in your life and those around you. That is the reason that forgiving is a gift to yourself not the other person but to you.

    I hope I can explain this to you the way I see it which is this: I believe in comeuppance, that everyone gets their reward for the good or bad things they do to others. If you can in your minds eye look at your sister now in her state of unawares, no quality of life, lonely, and brain dead hasn't she received her comeuppance? What a sad state for someone who swindled other people out of their money. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and I'm sure it gives you no pleasure to see or know the condition she is in now.

    Now for your benefit what you can do symbolically is to get all your feelings out and put them in a symbolic box and give her that box, but once you've given it to her you must put the whole thing to rest and never think of it again or speak of it again to yourself or anyone else........that is what it means to let it go.

    The above is a guided imagery technique, you might want to have a therapist or someone trained in this kind of work help you with this, but it really can be as easy to do as I've stated above.

    You could take it one step further depending on how you feel about this and do the mental and emotional work of placing all your feelings (good bad or otherwise, they are yours it doesn't matter how you feel) in a real box and tie it up with a ribbon and take that to her. In her condition she probably can't open it (it would be empty anyway) and it can just sit by her bedside for others to comment on, only you know the meaning behind the box.

    Just some suggestions, but I am real big on forgiving and forgetting and letting it go I like to keep my life uncluttered of negative energies. I hope this helped you with your decision and I wish you peace of heart kls.

  • tweety
    tweety

    kls - If you go and visit her....you can lay your head on your pillow at night, with no regrets later!

    Dee

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