Family ,what would you do

by kls 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • kls

    I am going to try and explain this with out dragging this on so here goes, i am the youngest of four sibblings,i have a older brother which i never see and two older sisters. I am close to my sister that is close in age to me but have a sister that is about ten years older. When i was a teen my dad killed himself and the mother was a 24 hr mean drunk who after my dads death was committed to a nut ward. To make this story short ,my older sister took my sister and me in and took custody of us which at the time i thought was wonderful. My sister that i am close to and close in age with collected Social Security for my dads death which was given to my oldest sister to be cashed by her and to be used for us kids as she saw fit but the problem is my sister and i never were allowed to see or use our money but i can tell you that my oldest sisters kids ( two boys ) as kids had every toy you could imagine.

    I will speed this up ,,,,,,,,,,at 16 i got pregnant and married and after being married you are no longer eligable to collect Social Security so my oldest sister told me she wrote the state to stop the checks but after being married for a year i recieved a letter from the Goverment wanting my hand wrighting for varication because they sad i was committing fraud and could serve jail time for not letting the Gov know that i was married and still recieving Social Security. I was 17 and scared shitless because i had no idea what they were talking about so i called my oldest sister and asked her if she did contact the Gov of my marriage and she said yes and that is all must be a mistake. Well after i sent in my handwrighting they could see it was not me stealing the money but my oldest sister forging my name on the checks and she was going to let me hang for it because when the Gov asked my oldest sister for her handwrighting she had someone else sign the paper and send it back. So now i hear my oldest sister had a stroke and is bascially brain dead in a nursing home ,i have not seen her in 10 years and really don't care to but there is this voice in my head that says go see her even thou she will have no idea i am there or who i am but then i owe her nothing and have much hate against her, this and among other things she has done to her sisters that she acted like she loved.

    I really want to know what your feeling are and what you would do ,just let it be or go see her because i need to quiet this voice in my head so i can leave it all in peace.

  • MerryMagdalene

    Do what you need to do to quiet the voice in your head. You deserve some peace...

    and love (((((kls)))))


  • Satanus

    Morally, or any other way, imo, you have no obligation to your brain dead sis. However, you mentioned that little voice in your head. It will prbably still be there after she dies. Seeing your sis may quiet it. Another thing, although it's a very remote possibility, she may want to apologise.


  • iiz2cool

    Go see her, lean over and whisper in her ear to tell her what an asshole she is.


  • jeanniebeanz


    If you feel that you need to go make your peace with your sister in spite of the fact that she is no longer going to be able to understand who you are, I'd go.

    It's similar to finding out someone you loved/had issues with had died and is now buried in a cemetery. Some would go and say their piece by the graveside and it brings a sense of closure to their relationship. I see no difference here.

    Take care,


  • mtbatoon

    Would your reason for not going to be as a punishment to her? If so who are you punishing the sister who committed fraud in your name or the stroke victim who wouldn't know anyway.

    What I would do if I was in a situation like this would be go but before hand think on the possible outcomes, anger, love or emptiness. Only when you actually see her will you react and what ever that reaction may be is the one that will give you closure on the relationship you had with your sister.

  • AlmostAtheist

    Years from now when she's gone, you certainly won't regret that you went to see her. You may very well regret not having done so.

    On that basis alone, I would suggest you go.


  • inbyathread

    Do you hate her or what she did? Go see her, forgive her and kiss her. She is your sister. Perhaps the stress of knowing what she did triggered the stroke. I don't know but like an earlier post said. Maybe the voices will go away if you go. Forever is a long time to hold onto a grudge. Put a small pebble in your shoe and walk around. Remember it will be there forever unless YOU do something about it. Forgive her, if she passes away, say goodbye, but remember her for the good times.

  • talesin

    dearest kls,

    do what you feel your spirit needs ... these hurtful things that people do, especially our siblings, sometimes do not kill the love we have deep inside for them ... perhaps to touch her face or her hand, to see her one last time ... will bring you some peace to feel the person she was before all the bad times ... your beloved older sister ... this is only a measure of the love within you, it does not mean you condone or 'forgive' anything that happened ...

    (I have similar feelings to my bro, and if it were me, I think I would want some closure, but this may not be for you ,,, either way, please remember that she cannot hurt you anymore)


  • Dragonlady76


    Listen to the little voice in your head, and do what it takes to silence it. Regrets can be hard to live with.


Share this