I know it's not the lightest of topics but the current news coverage of the Pope's final hours made me wonder if I'd face things as calmly as he is reported to be doing. I don't have his faith, or any faith anymore, but I can see how for a true believer that would be a source of strength.
The thing is, a lot of us thought we'd never die. Do you really comprehend what a truly massive mind-fuck that is? When I was embroiled in doubts and knew I was heading 'out of the truth' I remember waves of nausea hitting me. It was fear of dying. I didn't want to die - it wasn't fair, I wasn't supposed to die.
Well it's been a few years now and I've accepted mortality but I still don't like it. I think when I'm lying on my deathbed I'll be feeling cheated that I won't see my children and wife anymore. Cheated that I had to grow old and face a finality that I was promised would not exist for me.
I hope I'm wrong and that I won't still be angry at those WT bastards for what they've done to us all.....
apologies for the language, guess I'm just pissed off today