Re: the funeral that I did not want to go to today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by cindykp 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • cindykp
    cindykp

    Here I go! Those of you who saw my threads, know that my grandpa was going to die. You may also remember the fact

    that he went from the catholic religion to JW"S, may have had this wrong at first, but in 2003. We discussed the fact

    that no one would talk to me at the funeral, at least not the witnesses. I had alot of advice, some said not to go, some

    said to go with my head held high! Well the latter was my choice. Just day's before I had spoken to my sis-in-law who

    told me I could go to the funeral, but it would be awkward because I couldnt speak to anyone. Well, today, I wanted to

    jump in my grandpa's grave(urn) and roll over with him. Just about all of my family, and a few witnesses all talked to me.

    The only two in my family that did no tspeak to me were both uncles, and both elders.(arent they the ones that

    can?) Their kids and wives came to me, hugged me, and encouraged me to come back to the org. My grandma, so

    strong, sat and talked to me for so long about going back to the truth. And all the while, (my cousin, who is the son of the

    elder who did not speak to me) had his arm around me!!!!!!!!!! His Mother came to me, grabbed my face and said

    "you hang in there ok?" My brother, sis in law, every cousin, and aunts and most uncles, some witnesses who all know I

    am df'd, were still there for me!!!!!!! I was just floored. Still am. What I am about to say next will floor some of you!

    I am going back!! I will still post, and love you all for your comfort and support that you have givin me in the last month. I

    couldnt ask for more than I have received from this forum. It may be pretty sad to say, "for now, I am going back for the

    fellowship of my family." But the long run will speak for itself.

    I am sure I will get alot of nice comments, but more not so nice. I'm ready for all!!!!!!!!!!! I am not leaving this forum, just

    making a personal decision that fits my needs. Riding the fence, one foot in and one foot out the door!!!! It will make

    me a hyprocrite! But guess what, I would rather be that, and talk to my family, than not at all. So, good or not so good

    comments I am expecting, and will respect everyones opinions! (And promise not to preach to anyone on this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  • Aude_Sapere
    Aude_Sapere

    Only you can decide what is right for you. And your personal reasons should remain valid for you.

    Sorry to hear about your grandpa but glad for you that your family showed they care.

    -Aude.

  • Heatmiser
    Heatmiser

    ((((cindykp))))

    You have to do what you think is best for you. Family is a strong pull and nobody can fault you for that.

    Glenn

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Please don't let the social club become a brain scrub.

  • ezekiel3
    ezekiel3
    Riding the fence, one foot in and one foot out the door!!!! It will make me a hyprocrite!

    Don't let the old brainwashing make you label yourself that way Take it from one who knows, this choice is very serious. Choosing to be with your family can be worth it. Just don't let the cult get to you.

  • hubert
    hubert

    Cindy, Sorry to hear you lost your grandpa.

    When I saw this post I expected to read a lot of shunning stories. I'm glad it was the other way around for you. it's good to hear that at least some j.w. families for the most part, still have compassion for d'f and d'ad j.w.'s., especially when it comes to funerals. I'm glad for you. You still have your family. Take care, be careful, and check in on us sometimes and please give us updates.

    ((((cindykp))))

    Hubert

  • Tigerman
    Tigerman

    Now you've got the chance to lead your family to JWD.

  • cindykp
    cindykp

    I have always said I am not an apostate, which is a stupid lable anyway. I love Jehovah. " I'm just not sure" about all the teachings of the wts. I have learned things here, that I would never even think would exist in the org. But right down to the end, I believe faith in god is a good thing. (not saying the jw's are it) It does structure a person. But, there has to be an extent to where that ends, which I have not seen in the org. But the simple fact is, my family is more important to me than any thing else. If this is what it takes, than so be it! My blinders will always be off!!!!!!

  • HadEnuf
    HadEnuf

    Just follow your heart Cindy. I hope it doesn't get all busted up.

    Family is very important...I had to make the choice of staying in a religion that lied to me (and did NOT teach true love) or my mom, sister and brother. I chose to follow my conscience, left the JW's and have been shunned ever since. But I feel true to myself. That's what you have to do too...even if it means going back. Just stay true to yourself. I wish you all the best.

    Big hug...Cathy L.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    cindy hon you do what is best for you and your life.

    i sincerely believe that God judges us by our hearts and our deeds not by what religion we are in. you be the best gal you can be and find some happiness. it sounds like you do have a loving family base and you should be very proud of that!

    we'll be here ! hugs

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