VH1 - Behind the Witness. . . (page 2)

Synergy

I am in your same situation with having a JW spouse and two small children. I was already DF'd but he always had hopes of me being back as I'd keep going with him and teaching the kids the "Truth". I confronted him with my decision to become a member of a new church and take our children. He had a meltdown of course but he's coming to terms with it. I'm on a lot of prayer lists from the TRUE FRIENDS I've made and it is helping.

I'd like to know how it goes for you. I live in North Florida if you live close we could get up for a chat sometime.

vitty

I f you love your wife, then give her a chance, it may take a long time, but dont be too hasty in thinking she wont see your point of view.

First dont make her your enemy by critisizing the org, she needs the truth, but will only be receptive if shes not on the defensive. She may shug off what you say but she could be thinking about them.

Go on a site like freeminds, call her over and say" look what ive found what do you think?"

Ther must be something she dislikes about the truth, meetings, field service, lack of love, something. Get her to talk about it she may surprise you !

My husband was emotionaly out for 2 years before, I saw this site and others, now we are both fading

It was hard on me when I knew he didnt want the truth anymore. But im glad we stuck it out cos weve never been so happy, these last few months. Even though we have problems with our other family members who are still in.

Good luck and keep us posted

Will Power

Welcome ithink

lol that sounds kind of funny

You are definitely in the right place. There is so much experience here to comfort and learn from.

could be some stormy days ahead. Steady and slow seems to be the way to go, no matter what the outcome.

Will

A Paduan

The numbers were sickening - especially considering all the third world countries that could use a kingdom hall or something.

A kingdom hall?

Check_Your_Premises

My story is similar in the sense that I am married to a woman who has drank the kool-aid. She is going to get baptized next month, and I would love to stop this, but I know I really don't have much of a chance of this.

I would suggest getting a book by Don Cameron called Captives of a Concept. He takes the wt garbage and uses it to prove they could not possibly be TFDS. His website is captivesofaconcept.com. He is a pretty good guy to. I correspond with him regularly about my situation.

For me I see it as not just a presentation of facts. You simply have to be ready to face facts before you can even consider them. What I have been focusing on with my wife is getting her to understand what has gone into her decision to believe. First there is logic and reason. Next there is what she wants to believe. This plays a huge role in what we believe. SO for that I am asking her to list all the reasons she wants to believe that the GB is mandated by Jehovah to provide the true doctrine. She is doing that grudgingly. Next we are influenced by others to believe things. I have a wonderful book for you to read, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini. This book will literally blow your mind to the extent that you have been persuaded to believe the WT garbage. They use tricks perfected by hucksters for centuries!

Finally, and most importantly, God guides us to truth when we seek it. I can't stress enough how much it has meant to me to be able to lean on Him, and ask for help with myself and my wife. And that is the appeal I made to her. She is supposed to "keep proving" that she is in the right faith. I have asked her to pray and ask that God make it known to her if the GB is not His chosen channel. If she is truly a lover of truth, He won't!

Once you have addressed why she believes wants to believe, how she has been influenced to believe, and seeking the truth from God, then facts and reason will begin to matter.

Hope this helps

freedom96

Welcome!

As encouraged by others earlier, I certainly suggest that you take it slow. You have a lot to possibly lose, so you want to be very cautious.

ezekiel3

I fully recognize your situation as it is simliar to mine. I decided to stay in and active and salve my morale by removing as bricks as I can from the inside.

This is a difficult spot if you want to retain your family in one piece. You know your wife best: would she react well to plain facts, are there any pet peeves she has, doubts? Go easy on her and think about the course of your gradual revelation.

You would be surprised how many of "us" there are active JWs. You can always spot us by our "interesting" comments, and willingness to explore the doctrines. Some of the most studious JWs are also the most seditious, and the most trapped.

Sadly, your timing is dangerously close to the revised policy about DF/DA.

My family keeps me in as well. If you decide to go for remember, WTS has paved the road to freedom with landmines. The only to lead your family that way is to open their eyes as well.

ithinkisee

I too am worried about the new DA/DF procedures. I have decided to wait to make a move until the book is out, the general concensus is drawn, and I can get some insight from my "friends" who are still at Brooklyn Bethel and Patterson.

Thinking positively, because the new methods will be new, there may be a window of opportunity to nail them on some unforeseen technicalities of the new procedures and get off scott-free.

Hey I can dream can't I?

My next step is to covertly let my "unbelieving father" know that I am taking steps to get out. I'll post that in a separate thread when the time comes.

DM

jeanniebeanz

Hi, ithinkisee.

You have certainly got some almost overwhelming challenges ahead, especially if you want to see your children. Taking it slowly is your best bet. Your wife is on the defensive and now that she knows you don't believe, she is going to look at everything that you present as dangerous materials if you push at all. The others have given some great advice; it's in your best interests to do whatever slow fading you need to do in order to hang onto your family.

If you can get your wife to see, and take her with you, you may be able to get your marriage to improve. If your wife is thinking that you do not want to have anything to do with the witnesses, she may be withdrawing from you in self defense. If that defensive position lessens and she joins you in your fade, you may very well have an entirely different lady on your hands. Best of both worlds, you keep the kids, *and* get a change of scenery! :)

Hang in there, my marriage broke up and I lost my kids for a while. It took me 9 years, but I've got all three of my children back and hope you will be able to keep yours too!

Jean

Joyzabel

welcome to the board, ithinkisee it

Yes, it is very difficult when you finally wake up. And like you, I was very embarrassed I had ever been a JW. But time heals in many ways.

Listen to AlanF, he was in your situation years ago.

Heal yourself before you can help others. Read Steven Hassan's books on mind control. Scot Peck's books on The Road Less Traveled. Because "life is difficult".

Glad you found this place. But only you can make decisions about your life.

Joy

ps also welcome the person who's wife is about to take the koolaide. Please show her how hypocritical the JWs are before she undergoes baptism. How the JWs will turn on her if she ever wants to leave. You have a limited time, but do it kindly and maybe she'll listen. Good luck

VH1 - Behind the Witness. . .

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