Slow to help....Quick to punish!

by FreedomFrog 52 Replies latest jw friends

  • FreedomFrog

    I agree with jgnat...

    It sounds like she's going through the shock of it all. I went through it as well probably along with most on here. I even yelled at Dave (even though I had my doubts for years before him) why he even brought this up!!! I was mad that he was able to prove to me the WT's teachings wasn't quite correct. I just wanted it to all go away and go back to not knowing what I had found out (at first). After the ranting I went out and bought both Crisis of Conscience and Christian Freedom books both by Raymond Franz. He is a former member of the Governing Body which got my attention because he was "higher up". They did help out quite a bit. Then also, this forum has helped out with the support I needed. Being a JW's it's almost like a security blanket. When it's ripped away from you, you feel exposed. Something?s missing. Because in it, you feel you are 100% positive that you're in the 'right' religion. And when that's taken away from you, you feel lost at first. And that's what she is probably going through right now.


  • steve2
    It's hard to go through something like that, especially when you're basically crying out for help. It stays with you for a very long time. At least you can thank them that they didn't listen and you were able to break free.

    You're so right FreedomFrog. I look back on those experiences and, as harsh as they were, they taught me to begin taking responsibility for my own wellbeing. I knew I could not count on the JWs to help me through it. I look upon my eventual leaving as giving me the opportunity I would never have got as a JW to actually grow up. Talk about being dragged kicking and screaming into adulthood!

  • The Leological One
    The Leological One

    Thanks for the info. I've heard of the book and would like to read it, too. I have a few other books, as well.

    Sometimes I feel she understands at least some of the stuff she learned is garbage, but then at my grandfather's funeral yesterday, I could tell she had a problem with how it was being preached he was "in heaven," and she told my sister that since he was a good man he at least may "deserve a chance" at Armageddon.

    So I think she still wants to hold tight JW views and may actually even want to go back someday, being ignored while sitting in the back of the cong., but then she usually slows down on that talk when I remind her of how she'd always felt left out and never seemed happy at the congregation. But then I think she convinces herself it's because she wasn't perfect enough and didn't put on enough of a smile-y face or how other circumstance hit just at the wrong time. She hasn't ever seemed either down enough on the Watchtower or just plain curious enough to let me show her sites like this one or show her books, but she's at least let me bolster the different view of faith vs. works such as presented in the book of Romans.

    I'm just glad I see so many others here who've found some ways to deal with some hefty blows dealt out through DF'ing or just quitting the WT when noticing some things not seeming right or making sense. I know some things like that can rock many people's entire worlds; it's good to see people not just being pulled under entirely but rather climbing out on top, and it gives me hope for my wife, too.

    Thanks to those who've shared their experiences after or in the midst of going through them!

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