Enjoyed reading your "life experience".
To answer your question, I felt much like a woman who was betrayed by an unfaithful husband. (I know how that feels because that happened to me too)
I was raised as a JW...and thought it was the "truth"....
Being committed and trying to be "spiritual" according to the WTBS rules and only to find out they betrayed my trust was indeed like finding out I was married to an unfaithful man....It will take years for me to heal.