Suicide.... how do you view people who "attempt" it?

by outbutnotdown 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin
    If a person "is looking for attention", that's very very sad. Many people that were accuse of this killed themselves.

    Hey, a suicide attempt is a suicide attempt, no matter what the motive is. Consider that anyone who attempts or even threatens to attempt whether it be sincere or just a play for attention and manipulation, it is ultimately a cry for help. That person is in some kind of pain emotionally and mentally and they need intervention, help, counselling and therapy no matter what their reasons are. There is a real problem and it should not be ignored, especially in young ones. When I was 18, I attempted. I did not want to die. I wanted to live, and my attempt was meant to send a clear message to my mother that she was hurting me so bad, so much so, that dying looked alot better to me. It was a desperate attempt to "manipulate" my mother into loving me. No matter the reasons, the results would have been the same.

    A suicide attempt is a suicide attempt.

    We need not worry anymore about those who succeed.


  • flower


    for what its worth..i have a totally different opinion of parents who commit suicide (or make a sincere attempt) as i do of people who do not have children.

    as someone who has been to the depth of hell and survived only due to my own lack of wordly knowledge (i guess i can thank my parents for the fact that they never let me go anywhere except the hall), and as someone who is currently a parent I can say that i cannot comprehend or begin to comprehend how a parent can do it and leave their child behind. not a young way. i just cant fathom it. it sickens me to even think it.

    i went through the worst days of my life when my son was a few months old to about 8 months old. i was in the darkest pit of hell with the jw elders as the devils who nearly caused me a nervous breakdown. no family support only judgement, no friendship only looks of judgement and scorns from former friends, no co-parent only single motherhood, a full time high stress job, 2 hour commute, few hours of sleep a night and a nursing child, struggling with trying drag myself to meetings so i could get reinstated and sitting in judgment by the judicial committee questioning my every thought and word all while fighting severe post partum depression.

    i had reason and opportunity to check out and had i not been a mother i would likely have. but to me the only choice was to get myself together for my sons sake...checking out isnt an option for a parent as far as i'm concerned. instead of checking out i said screw the jw's and with some help from a 'wordly' person, eventually checked myself into a hospital to get the help i needed.

    i'll tell you something brad, i am absolutely sure that a good number of suicides could be prevented if there wasnt such a stigma involved with people who seek help for mental health issues. a stigma created and continued by 'the other people'...the ' i've never felt suicidal' people.

    they dont seem to understand that you can recover from poor mental health just as you can recover from a physical illness. as with physical illnesses some mental health issues can take longer to recover from and some are ongoing. just as someone has to continually treat their diabetes or herpes for the rest of their lives some have to treat their mental health for the rest of their lives.

    if someone was physically sick people would not tell them not to go to the doctor or just to deal with themselves. but if someone goes to the doctor for a emotional or mental health problem they are stigmatized as a psycho who, even years later, could just snap and go postal at any second. Or if they have a bout of mild depression, anger or anxiety they are treated as if they are having a mental breakdown.

    people are ignorant about so many things and dont even know enough to realize it.

    k i'll pass the soap box on to someone else now. lol

  • outbutnotdown


    I agree. There is definitely a stigma attached to mental illness.

    In my personal case, my ex tried to have me kicked out of the house (when I felt that we were going to mutually separate and get on with life) because I was unfit as a father because, (amongst other accusations) a few years earlier I had said that I wanted to die. I said to her, "Do you really want to go there, honey?" (She had had the same sinking feeling before herself, but I told her that despite her accusation towards me, I would not go there and I still haven't because I believe what you are saying.)

    Mental illness is a condition. It can be treated or it can be neglected. We are all capable of becoming victims of it.

    I applaud you for defeating the "sadness" demons that made you contemplate it. It is very honourable (sp...Canadian... ) that you give credit or acknowledge that your child was influential in your decision to hang around for the whole play.) I feel that you draw strength from the knowledge that you may have reacted differently if you didn't have a child...... the fact is that you did stay around.... I am glad for that.


  • BrendaCloutier

    Dammit, my wonderful post was dropped when either my end or this system hung up on me.



  • BrendaCloutier


    Thank you for your acknowledgement on my last post. I also felt that so many of the responses were of the "poor me I'm a victim of a suicidal person" instead of looking for solutions.

    Suicide threats are just like homocide threats in the family structure. It's domestic abuse and just as deadly. It requires intervention and outside help. None of us are qualified to handle this stuff, especially as a child.


    Suicide attempt is a suicide attempt. It is, indeed, a cry for help to get rid of the pain, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I know, you've been there, and you're on the other side of it right now.

    A broken brain is even more important than a broken leg, but a broken leg would be dealt with by a professional.

    Hugs, all


  • Billygoat


    You are a strong girl and I really respect you for that. I remember not long after my DFing, going through the same pit of hell as you. I did not have a child, but I had the blessing of two worldly friends that took very good care of me. I truly believe I owe my life to them. But your post triggered a memory for me. I remember a LONG time ago, my JW father telling me that if it weren't for me, he would have died after my mother divorced him. That he forced himself to go on because of his little girl. Strange. I had forgotten that after all this time.

    I have a lot of compassion for someone who's been suicidal. I've been there...attempted twice. Twice really weird and unexpected things prevented my death. Things that (now) make me believe in divine intervention. I attempted because the pain I was experiencing in my life was more than I could bear. I literally did not have the tools to cope with my depression any other way. It was the only way I felt I could make the pain go away. And for those I left behind...I knew my depression was a burden on them. I looked at my departing as a way to help everyone all around. My thoughts on suicide were not ones of selfishness. But they were out of desperation and wanting to alleviate me as a burden from others' lives.

    I still struggle with "off" days, but I'm happy to say that I don't deal with suicidal thoughts like I used to. I've got a basket full of tools to help me get a handle on my depressions before I begin to spiral. At least I know my triggers and can steer away from them or nip it in the bud before it gets too bad.


  • flower

    Thanks Andi. I guess the good thing about having been 'there' is you are aware how bad it can get and you become more aware of your feelings and thoughts and you can keep any negativity from getting out of hand. We all struggle occasionally but at least we know we'll never go back.

    Kids have an amazing ability to cause people to do things they never thought possible. Once you hold that baby you automatically want to give it the happiest life possible and you realize that no one can do that but you. You realize you cant possibly do that until you get yourself together. Eventually, I realized that if I was miserable being alive it would be just as hard for my kid as if I checked out. I started out getting healthy for him but the more work you put into it the more you start doing it for yourself.

    Its sure not easy and there are bumps along the road but you take so much strength and knowledge from each experience that can be passed on.

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