Suicide.... how do you view people who "attempt" it?

by outbutnotdown 86 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  CountryGuy

  I have great compassion for anyone who attempts suicide. JamesThomas is right, unless you've been there, you don't know what it's like.

  It's an awful place to be. I have also lost two friends to suicide. One was a JW. It was about a year after my attempt. Like me, no one knew that agony he was in. I was blessed in that my mother found me before it was too late. He was not. He was so smart and the kind of guy that your parents always compared you to. I guess it was a lot of pressure.

  The other was not a JW and had been diagnosed as HIV+. He had a set back and was put into the hospital. His first night home, he decided that it was time and intentionally over-dosed. I guess I understand why, but I would have liked to say goodbye. He would have been 33 last week.

  I miss both of them very much.
• 

  outbutnotdown

  First of all, why did that "thumbs down" thing come up?

  I had a similar experience to kls. My father attempted suicide about 12-15 times when I was between the ages of about 6 to 20. There were a lot of people that reacted very similar to how kls got treated. They would sometimes even outwardly condemn our whole family, as if we were all sick.

  I'm not sure if the fact that the JW's would teach the "no resurrection" thing that made it worse, but it was way beyond just an awkward feeling, although that response was evident as well, quite frequently. At this stage in my life, I realise that my father was basically just pretending, to try to get attention. I wish I had the ability to make that determination back then..... it would have been a lot less heart-wrenching.

  As far as whether I feel more pity towards him or whether the anger prevails more is still up in the air.

  Irregardless, I have great compassion for the family members who go through the after-effects. It is very sad to see.

  Brad
• 

  hubert

  KLS <> Well, you know what, kls? The school kids are the ones that are sick ! , to treat someone like that. I have a few friends that commited suicide, and sometimes I still think about them, and wonder if I could have said something to them to help them to change their way of thinking. But, sometimes, you don't even know they are thinking of suicide, until it's too late. .

  Even my own daughter tried to commit suicide once, then realized she didn't really want to. She was breaking up with a guy. She called me, and I'm so glad I was here to answer her call. She's okay now, and happily married. But, it's scary to go through that.
• 

  kls

  Hubert it wasn't just kids my future then in laws didn't want my now husband to date me because i was diseased and it would make them look bad for their son to be seen with me.
  
  
  Outbutnotdown, yes my dad also tried many times and i also think it was for attention but i know he was always depressed. I t became worse when he worked for Wisconsin Electric and the promotion he was to get passed him by and that was the final straw, besides the mother being a 24hr drunk. It has been over 30 years since his death and there are no feeling except what others did .
  
  
  This is a good reminder to those that when someone takes their own life it is the living that need understanding ,love and support. If you do not know what to say that is alright but just the fact that you are there for support, Just as if that same person that took their life died of a terminal illness that is how the family 's left behind want's to be treated . They carry no plague no sickness that you can catch they are in the dark as you are as of why.
• 

  blondie

  How do I view them:

  As sad, tortured people who feel they can't reach out to anyone; that they are doing their friends and family a favor; that it is the only way to end their pain; people who have lost their way and can't find their way.

  Blondie
• 

  SixofNine

  I view them as people who are inconsolably frustrated and pained.
• 

  bikerchic

  I agree with Blondie:

  As sad, tortured people who feel they can't reach out to anyone; that they are doing their friends and family a favor; that it is the only way to end their pain; people who have lost their way and can't find their way.

  As someone who's lived both sides of this although I never did 'attempt' it I contemplated it most of my life and know it's curable, you can overcome the thoughts and really learn to love and cherish life.

  Please never take a person's talk of suicide as anything but serious, reach out in whatever way you can to them. Help them find help, never, ever take it as just a passing thought. It's been proved that by the time the person starts to verbalize their intent they soon do it. It's serious, get them help.
• 

  Odrade

  I don't know what they are feeling, but my heart breaks for anyone who is feeling so much pain that it is easier to be dead.

  As for what YOU are feeling. It's quite normal and rational to be intensely angry at the person who attempts or commits suicide, and at the same time feel compassionately towards them.
• 

  outbutnotdown

  Hubert,

  I feel that your responses to kls would be VERY different had you not been there when your daughter called. However, I am VERY glad that you were there for her because I would rather you not understand the pain that kls has experienced, as opposed to understanding it first hand. I hope you know what I mean.

  kls,

  Sometimes sorrowful experiences unite people and bring them together and make them stronger. I feel very much for what you experienced and I feel that you have helped me, with your posts, and I hope that I have helped you as well, with mine. I 100% agree with you about the fact that the LIVING are the ones that need to be considered. The dead need to still be respected for the good that they have done in their life, but ultimately they made a choice that they felt was best for them....... The Ultimate Peace......(to them).

  However what is left is the living. Sadly, (without intending to start rage towards the JW's), the reason, IMO, that they seem to be harsh towards the family of the deceased person is that their teachings have already trained them to condemn the deceased person......... it's not a big jump to condemn his/her offspring as well. It doesn't make it good or right but it does make it easier to understand, especially after the fact. My thoughts are with you.

  Brad
• 

  Corvin

  I view them with nothing more than compassion. A person that attempts suicide is just the same saying that living is simply too much pain to deal with anymore.

  In our minds, we see death as the only escape from the massive pain we feel inside.

  Corvin