Suicide.... how do you view people who "attempt" it?

by outbutnotdown 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lostreality

    With the utmost respect. If they have the balls to attempt it, then things must be unbearable on a level that i can not understand. In my mind, that deserves some respect.

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    I feel sorry for them, and I wish I could help

    but you have to be in the situation to understand it,

    for example,

    would a person who is not a JW understand us,

    would a person who never drank understand an alcoholic.

    would a non-smoker understand a chain smoker

    would a person who never gambles, understand someone with a gambling problem

    I contemplated it once, the day after my 18th birthday, I couldn't take the Jw crap anymore, but I survived it, thankfully, it is very sad, and unless you understand the whole process, do not give a negative reaction.


  • frenchbabyface

    Actually I don't think anybody can avoid suicide as it is an act related to the pain or frustration that lead to a moment of crazyness that makes you want (most offen uncounsly) to end up your life (just look at the way people choose to do it : Train, falling from a building, shoot or hung themself ...)

    but still there are 3 categories to me :

    The ME onces : those who want's those who are left behind to stay in pain and get frustrated about it (a way to stay alive and still bother)

    The US onces : those who want's their beloved once to forget about the bad and go further on the good

    The IT'S TOO MUCH, I'M IN URGE TO DIE, IT'S MY DECISION : If you know me you'll deal with IT

  • BluesBrother

    As others have said, with compassion and care as the subject of an illness . But I believe that there are two types of suicide, 1] the person suffering from temporary mental breakdown and 2] the sort of person mentioned earlier in the thread by Wild Horses.

    We had a friend who was an elderly man, it started as a "Ministy call" but became a friendship. We saw him degenerate from a sprightly old chap to a sad and lonely individual in constant pain and unable to think, let alone care for himself. Old age can be a curse. Apparently someone had saved his life following a heart attack just before we met him. I honestly think he would have been better to have died then.

    My point is this. I do not want to grow old to be a vegetable in a home. I could not chose when I was born, but I want to have the choice as to when I die.. I know I speak without experience but I honestly think that as a man without children to consider, I would like to call time when it is due..

  • kls

    Outbutnotdown,,,,,,My family were't jws so i cannot related to how jws deal with this but you really understand what i am trying to say and that means alot.((((((( It is the living that need your support not the dead)))))))

  • Sassy

    well I have attempted suicide and it really bothers me when people judge others who have never been to that crossline where you made that attempt.. you can sit there and judge people for being selfish, or taking the easy way out, but unless you have been there you can not understand. You can even think about it but be strong and know you would never really attempt it... but unless you have been past that line, you still do not quite understand..

    a person who attempts suicide, is in a great deal of pain, not knowing a way out of a situation, feeling like they actually might make life easier for their loved ones (even though this is far from the truth but their thinking is not balanced at that moment). They might even have been close to suicide and then someone pushed them over that line.. as if they were on the edge of a cliff and someone walked by and without thinking bumped them off...

    but dont' judge if you haven't been there.. you have no clue

  • BrendaCloutier

    I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a pre-teen. Brought on by inherited psycoholical issues and later agrivated by inherited alcoholism. And reinforced, I'm sure, by JW doctrine.

    I was adopted. My adoptive JW parents were actually quite "normal" inspite of being JW's. I've since found my relatives and traced the mental illness and alcoholism back several generations.

    I can't help it. My chemical wiring is screwed up. I'm not demonized. It's not a moral issue. It's no different than if I had diabetes, or anemia, rhumatoid arthritis, or any other chronic illness for which one would seek medical help.

    I attempted suicide 2x while in my first marriage to a "fine upstanding JW boy" who was alcoholic and violent. Suicide was an option because, of course, I didn't believe in divorce. I had thought about murder, but he wasn't worth it! (Think "Burning Bed" - a movie I cannot watch). After the 44 magnum fired into the ceiling instead of my head, I decided that I WAS worth it, lost weight, had an affair to help end the relationship, put my personal affairs in order, and left.

    Suicide, for me and others I know who have attempted, is an option that floats to the surface when I'm so far backed into a corner that I can't think straight and can't stand where I am, and don't want to be there any more AND DON'T WANT TO EXPERIENCE "IT" AGAIN. The thought, and action, of suicide overrides any rational thought or action.

    Me, unlike others, I don't talk about my feeling of hopelessness, or that I don't want to be here or any other suicidal indicators, or leave a "poor me" suicide note. I just do it. I'm the most deadly kind.

    That doesn't mean that you ignore the person who is expressing their hopelessness. TO THE CONTRARY! Believe every word that they are saying, do what you can to give them hope, don't dismiss them in any way, and get them help.

    Tell them how important they are to you. That if they go, you'd miss them very much. Tell them how much others would miss them, and the pain they'd cause if they left. Etc.

    Call the suicide hotline and ask them what to do. Write down the suicide hotline number on 2 business card sized pieces of paper and give it to that person to carry in their wallet, and one to place by their bed.

    If you have to, take them to the emergency room at your local hospital, before they take action.

    Whatever you do, take them seriously, because they are.

    Been there, done that, and thankfully didn't buy the T-shirt!


  • BrendaCloutier


    I appreciate your story of your friend, the elderly man. I believe in dealth with dignity (now an Oregon law). I also believe in euthanasia for cases like this. I don't think of it as suicide.



  • Sassy
    Suicide, for me and others I know who have attempted, is an option that floats to the surface when I'm so far backed into a corner that I can't think straight and can't stand where I am, and don't want to be there any more AND DON'T WANT TO EXPERIENCE "IT" AGAIN. The thought, and action, of suicide overrides any rational thought or action.

    that sooo perfectly describes how you feel when you attempt suicide.

  • BrendaCloutier

    PS to previous post:

    My last suicide attempt was 3 years ago. I had gone off of my dual purpose antidepressant forgetting that it also helps me with my physical pain from FibroMyalgia. 3 months off, the pain returned big time. Add to that being pari-menopausal, mensus anywhere from 11 days to 23 days, and then I went into PMS and my period wouldn't start. 3 weeks into PMS my spousal unit said "boo" and I said "fukkit" and took a bottle full of tylenol3. I just couldn't stand the pain anymore. I could no longer get beyond it. I was tired of it and tired of fighting it. I didn't think about the pain it would cause Kev. I didn't think the world would be better off. I would be out of pain and that's all that counted at that point

    About an hour later I told Kev what I did. I tried to throw them up, but they wouldn't come up, so he called 911. He was right there with me all the way! And THAT made a huge difference.

    Emergency gave me charcoal solution to drink to neutralize and bind the poisons. I've tasted much worse! I was released into Kev's custody with instructions on finding doctors, etc. which I followed up with. I finally understood just how fukked up I was. On my own I started back on my antidepressants.

    I'll tell you, I was pain-free for 3 or 4 days from the codine. Man, that was good. But my liver hurt for about a week from the tylenol. If I had taken more or had not gone to the hospital when I did, whether I wanted to die or not, the tylenol could have destroyed my liver, and I would have died a very painful death.

    I'm glad to still be here.



    Ad'l PS: I'm open about who I am and where I've been so that others either learn and attempt to understand, or if they've been there don't feel so alone. There are lot's like me out there - JW, ex-JW, non-JW, and hugs to you all!

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