Hi again folks! I was away for several days without a pc and another poster told me this thread had gone on to several more pages!
There is little I can add to the banter and confusion over who said what and where and whether they really meant it that way or not.
However, I'd like to clarify a couple of my own points that may have been misunderstood:
Princess said in reply to a point in my thread...
The oldest would never believe me telling him fantasies about xmas (read: lies)
So fantasies are lies? Is LOTR a fantasy or a big lie? Fiction = Fantasy or Fiction = Lies?
Obviously I totally disagree. I don't think it's wrong to not go along with Santa or the Tooth Fairy, but I do think it's wrong to call others who do "liars". It's a game people.
Angharad: My kids don't have to believe in Santa to get Christmas. There will be a ton of presents under the tree regardless. If they want one from Santa then they will have to go along with it because...it's a game.
I clarify that, only in telling my son that xmas (a fantasy) and in particular the personage and activities of Mr. Claus as being true, would in fact be lying to him. Please deny this as not lying to one's child if you truly believe differently. Explaining the 'story' of Mr. Claus as just that, a 'story' and 'pretend' is far different to me, and though I won't encourage it or promote it, sooner or later it'll come up from school and so forth and he will not have me encouraging or telling this lie as if Santa is real. (My choice) To illustrate using comparisons as you've done: LOTR = Fantasy (Cool), Santa Claus = Fantasy (Cool, if it turns your crank). LOTR as a real world you just can't see it = Lie, Santa Claus as a real person doing all the things he's described as doing = Lie.
If you took from my statement that xmas is, if told as true and real, at least to the childs mind, as 'calling others who do as "liars", then you've missed some steps as I meant no such personal conclusionto you or anyone else. You make your own conclusions as to what it is....I do not believe you are a liar, certainly if you told a 'lie' to your child, for a time about xmas, I do not believe it would be with any intent to harm, nor do I judge this as right or wrong, nor do I judge it as you now being a bad parent. Is it a lie or not to encourage your child to believe in something clearly untrue??? There is no judgement beyond that as this is not personal nor do I have the right to 'judge'.
Which is my next point. I delight in the imagination and fantasies of my children. I love science fiction myself, but when the questions are asked by my boys about the reality of such fantasies or stories, I stop at encouraging them to believe they are anything more than just a story, and instead explain that they are 'pretend'. The difference if very clear in my mind - enjoying the wonder of dreaming and fantasizing and labeling them as such, versus reality where there is no Santa, tooth fairy, or 2 Big Macs for buck (anymore)
As for how deep or how much you believe in fantasies, I say to each his own, and for those who've immersed their children in fantasy life, loving their children with quantity and quality time will likely be far more important to how balanced and adjusted they are as adults than whatever holdover of beliefs they have beyond the 'real' world, whatever that is. Really, isn't it this kind of unconditional love that sometimes has even saved family members out of the org?
boa...thankful he has that green armour on....its very fire retardant.....