21 Years as an Elder, 5 as an MS, I will never be that guy again.

by James Jack 96 Replies latest jw experiences

  • FayeDunaway

    Helpmeout, the Internet may eventually cause change in the org. Corporations who have not found it profitable to be environmentally conscientious or who use veritable slave labor have been pressured to make changes to stay in business, simply because of media coverage and public awareness. maybe eventually the org will make changes too because it won't be profitable for them to be hard nosed about DF ing and gays etc....too much negative publicity, and we know how much they care about their public image. 

  • James Jack
    James Jack

    I have patched things up with my son. He just got married and I was very upset with myself for not being there for the wedding. He being a DF Witness, knowing I could have been DF myself for showing up, really had a spell over me. I did apologized to him and he said he understood. I told him I wanted to do something very special for him and have already taken steps to do so.

  • AlwaysBusy

    Hi  James Jack!

    I have found, in my 61 yrs. of experience with the KH and elders, that the more one relies on the Bible and Jehovah, and the less one pays attention to the cruelties of the elders and the pious pioneers, the better one's life will be.  I have never known a person more cruel than some of the JWs.

    My advice to you, if you stay or leave, is to enjoy your wife and family, love them, they are gifts. Don't let anyone hurt you and yours. 

    I love the Bible and still believe that there is some 'truth' within the religion.  Anyway, one thing I know for an absolute fact ...you will need to talk to people who don't judge you and who feel your pain.  You will find that here. 

    Take Care

    Ms. AB 




  • James Jack
    James Jack

    I have an opened dialogue with my son. However on the issue of DFing, my wife still toes the line on waiting for him to get reinstated before we establish full contact.

    My is kinda funny, my wife is a stickler on this one issue only(DF). I guess she took it to personal that he went on some sexual excursions.

    On everything else, she will do whatever I do. She would follow me off that cliff!

  • OnTheWayOut
    Recently while out in Service, this Super Over Zealous Elder starting spouting out have bad the game Football is and that no True Christian should watch it. I said: "Can I be Disfellowshipped if I watch it? This pissed him off.
    The next meeting I was called to the back room with 2 Elders and counseled never to question an Elder in front of others.

    I might have pushed the envelope and said again, "Can I be disfellowshipped for doing that?"

    Hey, thanks for the update on you and your son. If it were me, I wouldn't pressure the wife but I would also not wait for her. I would do as you are and pursue that closeness with my son. We kick ourselves later in life when it's too late for not reaching out to family and loved ones. I doubt your son will ever get reinstated.

  • James Jack
    James Jack

    When saying " that I never be that guy again" , I meant that Elder guy who pushes people or bullies them to"increase their share in the Ministry" or make them feel bad for missing the meetings, etc.

    I am the guy now that "does not let a rotten saying come out of his mouth"!

    When someone invites me over and want me to bring a 6 pack of beer and a dozen wings, I going to bring a 12 pack and 2 dozen wings!

    I am going to be chilled, relaxed and jovial.

  • nonjwspouse
    Good to "see" you back James. I like your happy attitude :-)
  • hoser

    It seems like one or more of the elders had some hornets up their ass and were looking for an excuse to get you off the elder body. You are not responsible for what your adult children do.

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer
    When someone invites me over and want me to bring a 6 pack of beer and a dozen wings, I going to bring a 12 pack and 2 dozen wings!

    You have a standing invitation to my place. Let me know when you want to come. I'll make the arrangements so it works for both of us.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    Welcome Jack,

    It seems like certain elders can get away with something where others cannot. I guess you weren't one of the "good ol boys". My ex father in law was a MS and was deleted as one when his then teenage daughter moved back into their home. She was living with her boy friend I think. Regardless after that my ex mother in law would not go to any more meetings over that and my ex father in law slowly faded out to. So what did the elders accomplish? To this day none of the family is in the religion. The only one is my ex.

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