Suicide Update 8-31-04 and How You Can Help

by Corvin 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Corvin

    I have been very busy, but I am getting some sleep compliments of my doctor?s coolness.

    Mary and I went to see Nancy?s doctor for a long chat in which I went into a lot of detail regarding Nancy?s indoctrination, her engrained fears and beliefs about, God, the Bible, people and life, and how they relate to the culmination of this suicide attempt. I explained what being labeled "bad association" meant to her and how devastating the prospect and reality of shunning is . . . especially for such a young person. She listened very intently and her eyes flashed indignation a couple times as I explained how Nancy?s mother knew of our daughter?s intention to commit suicide and did nothing.

    With regard to the elders knowing of the abuse and not reporting it, she said that they are under obligation, by law, to report it. There is absolutely no confidentiality in this situation and it is a crime not to report it. Hmmm . . . nice to know.

    Nancy looked and seemed much better today. Her spirits were high and she was talkative about her first full day in the facility. She seems to understand what has happened to her and why she is there and is very cooperative and somewhat excited about the kind of attention she is receiving in there. She is exposed to other teens who are suffering through there own crisis, some with similar circumstances who she can partially relate to. The doctor said, that when prompted, Nancy does try to open up and talk about what?s going on. All very good signs.

    She will remain inside this facility for another five days or so, then we get to determine along with the doctor what the next step for Nancy will be. Whatever the case may be, she will continue daily counseling for a while as she recovers.

    That?s about all I have to report for now.


    Betsy?s best friend?s mother was raised a JW and left home and the cult as soon as she turned 18 and never looked back. She suffered terribly in her JW upbringing and is still bitter about many things, but she presses on with a great attitude and no regrets in leaving. Her girls have never had to suffer what so many JW kids suffer. When she learned of my intent to go picket the KH, she not only jumped right in there and stood shoulder to shoulder with me, she also, inspite of never having been to a KH in 20-something years, brought all of her kids to participate. Wow! That woman has brass ovaries! It has created a bond between all of us and reaffirmed our love and devotion to our children and their welfare. She is currently composing her JW upbringing story, which she volunteered, for me to present to the court to establish a pattern of abuse in the organization. She is also willing to go to court and testify about what she has witnessed with regard to the abuse my children have suffered.

    I think it would be very helpful if there are any other x-JW parents out there who have gone through similar challenges with their JW x?s and your beloved children, to please, and only if you feel comfortable and safe doing so, writing to me in fair detail about your experiences. I am talking about "testimonial" form.

    How would this help? With enough documentation and or testimonials, I can present to the court a pattern of abuse most JW children are subject to, especially when one parent is a JW and the other isn?t, as in many of our cases.

    I am working on a detailed report with documented incidents that have troubled and disturbed my children since I gained custody of them last year leading right up to Nancy?s suicide attempt. Rounding the report off with the stories of other parents of JW kids trying to escape the organization, I feel, would make an impact for the benefit of the girls. I am willing to do the same for anyone else.

    It is an idea.

    email: [email protected]

    ((((((Thanks to all!))))))


  • Corvin

    I really need to say the following.

    I am so flattered that so many of you think I am brave and courageous for taking a stand for my children. I believe that any one of you would and could do the same thing. In my case, it is all timing, education, the absence of fear, injections of love, and the firey soul of a hungarian ancestry.

    The greatest resource, however; the greatest source of support and strength has come from the best woman I have ever known. My Mary.

    She loves my girls so much, and I cannot distinguish any difference between the love she has for her own two kids and the love she has for mine. With this last episode, something happened to her and she has become more indignant, protective and tenacious than I have ever seen her. She has become a mother bear protecting her cubs and she is the one person that can really intimidate and silence my ex-wife. It is so funny when Mary says a firm word to Sara, because you can really see the fear and apprehension in the biotch's eyes.

    She has been next to me every step of the way, and honestly, I owe so much to her that I could never repay in 25 lifetimes. I live because of her, my children are safer and more loved because of her. I thank God for her. I believe that there is a God, although I no longer think I know a damn thing about Him, but I think her sent her to me and my kids to save us in some great measure. My life was a tragic mess before she said hello to me 8 years ago.

    I just wanted you to know that.


  • bem

    ((((Mary)))) I bow to you what an amazing thing to have your husband/mate/friend say about you.I wish you all the strength in the world.


  • Sunspot

    ((((Corvin Family))))

    The devotion you have for your Mary---and that same devotion for you and your children is the best any of us can wish for in one lifetime! I am so glad that you HAVE each other.

    I'm also glad to hear that Nancy is adjusting so well to her "new" situation and not shrinking into a shell, as some teens do. It's far more healthy that she's just a tad reticent, must mostly open to the therapeutical environment. A good mixture.

    Something has been pecking at my brain since this happened (after the fear that there may have been permanent damage to Nancy when you first posted about her attempt), and I dearly hope that I can express this is the proper way so as not to sound insenstive.....

    But maybe this incident will be the catalyst that will bring all the hurtful mess to a head. The fact that she is physically okay, that she is now getting the more intensive help she needed, and the fact that her mother acted like a fool in saying what she did--will all come out as "positives' for you and your family.

    Once this has been opened up and the microscope will be focused on Sara and Mark----the whole ugly story of "life within a JW family" will be exposed and the threats of shunning, etc will be held up for all to see!

    The Courts and her doctor will surely get an earful, and although you were unfortunately targeted by Sara that day in the hospital---all of this might be one of those "blessings in disguise" as they say. Having your reputation called into question the way it was and by WHO it was---was horrible for you, but this might be the key to the Sara and Mark family to be called into the spotlight. (I was going to put the "S and M" family---which might have been more appropriate---but I wan't going for the humor here)

    I know that you're in for a long haul with all this--but I'm sure you're up to it! With Mary by your side and the REAL love and concern for your daughters----you WILL come out of all this with a lot of long-standing issues finally resolved and a better outlook for your future.

    Love and hugs again,


  • neverthere

    (((((((((((((Corvin and Family)))))))))))))))

    So glad to hear that things are looking up for Nancy. Mary seems like such an awesome woman, hang on to her Corvin, she is one of the good ones!

    Good luck in what you must do to protect your children. Let us know how you are doing.


  • lawrence


    None of us have a clue about Him - that's called faith. May the Creator bless you and your family. I too have found someone that has helped to erase hell. Peace, love, and blessings to you and your family.

  • Uzzah


    I am sorry you and your family are going through this crap. I admire the strength you are showing.

    Have you considered approaching the law firm of Love & Norris (their ad runs on the top of the page, quite often).

    They already have the pattern of abuse documented and could likely give you some guidance on how to proceed.

    PM if you are interested and I'll forward you the full contact information if you don't already have it.


  • Corvin
    (I was going to put the "S and M" family---which might have been more appropriate---but I wan't going for the humor here)

    LOL, it's OK and it is so appropriate and if I had have been on the ball I would have beat you to the punch with that little pun. Humor always helps. And you are right; This situation, I too believe, will be the thing that brings everything to a head.


  • ezekiel3

    I hope your daughter comes out of this experience a strong woman who can love life for what it is. We are proved by fire, and your marriage is proof of that.

  • BrendaCloutier

    {{{{{{{ Corvin, Mary, Nancy, entire Corvin Family }}}}}}

    I am so glad a corner has been turned in this crisis. I have been thinking about y'all and praying for blessings for you since I read your threads yesterday morning.

    You are a lucky man with a rare and wonderful family.... lucky to have each other and draw strength and fearlessness from each other. I can see in your posts, present and past, you understand just what a gifts you have, that you are capable of seeing inspite of the fog.

    Keep on doin' the do. Keep to the high road, always. And know there are many, many faceless people here who love you, are praying and pulling for you and yours.

    With love and hugs all around


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