Question... Do JWs shun Family?

by Sassy 66 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • XQsThaiPoes
    XQsThaiPoes

    Only the "weak" and "fringe" witnesses don't.

    Have you ever considered that many more JWs may be getting weaker and are being alienated to the fringe? Where I am at the cliques are insane. Maybe people that are weakening are lonely and need their family regardless of status. Maybe this is some last resort?

    Sassy

    Nice thread. Um maybe I am not clear or my family is too dysfunctional to notice the difference LOL.

    Sofar the only ones I have seen uniformly shuned by families are because of adultry or divorce and in many cases the family forms camps. Others it is a coin toss and depends on how they interpet the rules or if they have a lofty position. I had an elder said he shund his kids because he did not want to have the bookstudy taken from his house. Because when the kid was Dfed the elders interegated him. ANd for some reason single young women fare better. Maybe you guys are too old? Or married I have no Idea. I am not saying it is your fault, but maybe my examples are in the wrong demographic. Maybe the cases I am seeing dont apply to older more established JWs that have a sucessful life. Maybe JWs shun via envy?

    I have also heard of the ultimatum "I'll let you come by if you ____". Anyone get that from their family ? Or did you hear "I would let you come, but I don't want you to be a bad influence on your brothers and sisters."

  • Lostreality
    Lostreality

    Yes.

  • Mulan
    Mulan
    Mulan, what about Princess and Steve, weren't they officially DA'd, are they treated just like you?

    My mother treats them the same as me.

    My aunt and cousin live in another State so there is no contact with Princess and Steve anyway. At my other aunt's funeral, my aunt spoke to my brother and treated him as normal, and he has been disfellowshipped for 25 years.

  • Gretchen956
    Gretchen956

    • Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?

    I'm not DFd or DAd, but my parents still shun me. They had minimal contact until they found out I was gay and now nothing. However in my case it was a blessing.

    • Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see??

    nope, no contact at all

    • Do they share meals with you?

    I didn't see any reason to give them my new contact information when I moved. They know that I'm in the area but nothing more.

    • Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you?

    No, I know for a fact they would never speak to me even if a family member died. I have two brothers in the area and they have no contact with me at all.

    • Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not?

    Hell no, my life is SWEET and I could not say that as a JW!!!

    Sherry

  • maxwell
    maxwell

  • Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?

    • Some do and some don't.

  • Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see??

    • I don't live near them, so I haven't really had a chance to gauge that.

  • Do they share meals with you?

    • Same as above.

  • Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you?

    • Same as above.

  • Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not?

    • It is not the same. In summary, my parents still talk call me sometimes and talk to me when I call. My sisters don't talk to me. My brother who has never been baptized but hasn't completely wrote them off yet either, talks to me. My grandmother treats me about the same. My unscientific guess is that about half follow the JW rules to the letter. The other half bend the rules to varying degrees. Parents and grandparents can have widely varying definitions of what constitutes necessary family business communication.

  • Xena
    Xena

    I'm not d/fed, neither of my sisters have anything to do with me anymore.

    My ex is not d/fed. When his mother was in the hospital being operated on for breast cancer he didn't hear about it until it was over....from another relative. Both his parents shun him. Nor do they have anything to do with our daughter who is 9.

    I have a friend who is d/fed. When her mom was in the hospital after being in a car accident, she only found out because the hospital contacted her and as soon as her mom was able she had her barred from coming to visit her at the hospital.

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    In 1999 I separated from my wife because they told her I had to leave home because due to my depression I was a "spiritual danger" to the family.

    Two years in 2001 later having learnt the truth about the Watchtower I DA'd. Since then my JW wife and two JW daughters have not had contact with me. I have not even seen thyem at all anywhere. Though I have been told that my wife one day in the shopping centre stood only about three feet away from me and never let on she was there.

  • XQsThaiPoes
    XQsThaiPoes

    I am not rying to stir the pot but notice the watchtowers weassel words.

    *** w88 4/15 p. 28 Discipline That Can Yield Peaceable Fruit ***

    13 Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children. Respect for God?s judgments and the congregation?s action will move the wife and children to recognize that by his course, he altered the spiritual bond that existed between them. Yet, since his being disfellowshipped does not end their blood ties or marriage relationship, normal family affections and dealings can continue.

    14 The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man."?1 Corinthians 5:11.

    Notice how they use "and". So the person has to be be out side the home, and a distant relative to consider altering "normal" family affections. When quoting this article i notice manyshunning jws use the word "or".So it might be possible not to fellow ship with distant relatives that live outside the home. And that goes in line with a "priciple" not a "law". So really unless it is a family reunion grubing with your 3rd cousin I doubt many people "have" to shun their family. I mean if they really cared wouldn't they read this article consider you imediate family and resume "natural" affection? And yes I know this article may have been just writen for divorce cases to show JWs don't shun family. THats not my point. Why is your family shunning you? Don't they care anymore?

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    XQs-

    What exactly do you think the WT was meaning when it quoted, "quit mixing in company"? I think it's pretty straightforward, and THAT is why we are shunned.

  • XQsThaiPoes
    XQsThaiPoes

    How can you shunn a person that you are to continue "natural family affections" with?

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