Question... Do JWs shun Family?

by Sassy 66 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    I had a disagreement with XQ in chat today, because he was trying to say that JWs for the most part disobey the WTS and still treat family like family even if they are dfd or quit being witnesses.. I don't feel that is true. I think that the majority of us on here who no longer are JWs have family members who no longer have anything to do with us and shun us.... so I said it would be interesting to take a poll and see how many here are treated just like all the rest of your 'loving family' who is a JW still.......are you treated the same?

    • Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?
    • Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see??
    • Do they share meals with you?
    • Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you?
    • Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not?
  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    XQ has shown himself to simply be interested in upsetting people, esp in chat, like it's some sort of game.

    In my experience the VAST MAJORITY follow the societies rules on shunning family. Only the "weak" and "fringe" witnesses don't.

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz

    My family almost completely shuns me. My brother has not spoken to me in 3 years. My father speaks via my mother and my mother calls only when there is a 'good' reason; like when my brother went in the hospital recently.

    When I still lived in the same town, they would not share a meal with me, even in the privacy of their own home.

    XQs has no clue.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    My JW family don't treat me very differently than before. My mother is very liberal so is totally accepting. My aunt wishes things were different, but she still talks to me. Her son, my cousin, is very loving.

    We aren't DF'd, so that may make a difference with my aunt and cousin, but my brother is DF'd since 1979 and Mom still treats him very well, and eats with him from time to time, but that is a new behavior for her. For many years she wouldn't eat with him.

  • Sassy
    Sassy
    XQ has shown himself to simply to be interested in upsetting people

    I do get upset sometimes when xq tries to make light of the JWs. especially when a newbie is in chat.. but.. I thought maybe it is me. Maybe I think everyone reacts the way they do, because I have an attitude/predjudice...

    Do I just assume the shunning I see in my life is what everyone else gets? or is it not as widespread?

    Mulan, what about Princess and Steve, weren't they officially DA'd, are they treated just like you?

    Stinky, I think my mom is pretty much like how you are being treated.. she called when she thought I was going to have surgery, but other wise, there is no contact. She might email about their health but it is clear I am not welcome in her social life.. and if I were to go home, I would not be invited over to my brothers.. (and I am not DFd.. or DA'd officially.. I just quit but to her I guess that is the same as a Disassociation)

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    My sister has been DF'd for 10+ years and our mother has nothing to do with her and will NOT share a meal with her. Hell i think she goes out of her way to exclude her from family functions to hurt her and make her feel like she is missing out on something. My brothers and I put a stop to that. Get a clue xq.

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    • Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating? DF'd and yes
    • Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see?? no contact at all
    • Do they share meals with you? no meals either
    • Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you? no shopping, no movies, nothing in public, or private including phone calls, email, or letters.
    • Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not? my dad called and said his daugher named Lisa was dead. So they don't talk to me, my husband, my children, or grandchilden.

    Lisa

  • Scully
    Scully

    I'm neither DFd nor DAd; but inactive for almost 10 years. Unless I make the effort to involve myself in their lives, my JW family members pretty much treat me and my children as though we don't exist anymore. I've just recently made a conscious decision to stop the insanity. If they want to treat me as dead or non-existant, then they will have to accept their decision and the consequences that come from it.

    Meaning that the next correspondence I receive from them will be sent back Return To Sender. Their phone calls will go unanswered. Their e-mails will bounce. I refuse to play the shunning game anymore. I have tried and tried to rise above the petty stupidity of shunning, keeping in touch, sending pictures of my kids to them, going out of my way to visit them (only to find out they were in town visiting another JW relative just a short time ago and neglected to call or visit me or my children). It's OVER. I am done with them. If they want to shun me, they are simply not good enough to be around me or my kids. If they want me and my kids in their life, then they have to stop playing the shunning game.

    It's that simple.

    Love, Scully

  • Iforget
    Iforget

    When I was DF'd they had minimal contact with me. I am inactive and life is normal. Father is Elder Mother is Full Time Pioneer. Two sisters that are active and don't treat me differently. We just don't talk about it at all. It's the pink elephant in the middle of the room.

    Have 2 brothers who are DF'd. One works in the family business and they have contact. Won't go beyond too much because they want to "help him see the way".

  • Iforget
    Iforget

    BTW sorry I hit send too soon. Your stories all made me so sad. I am so sorry for all of you being shunned. Your pain is deep and so great.

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