Question... Do JWs shun Family?

by Sassy 66 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Sassy

  It's interesting to see that there are some here who are not getting the shun treatment... but it does appear to me that more replied about the shunning they are getting.

  I have been shunned by family and friends. Mom will die for the WTS before she will disobey rules. Of course it is all in the eyes of tough love and helping me return to the fold. Sad isn't it? I have always been sad about the shunning my sister received and I never personally shunned her. I still went to see her, had meals with her, went to a bar and had drinks with her.. I refused to treat her like someone with a disease to be avoided at all costs. Imagine how much better our relationship is, that although for the past 20 plus yrs she has been dfd, now that I am out, I do not have to fix the damage done to our relationship because of my shunning her.. instead we can just share in new things like exchanging xmas presents..
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  gumby

  Notice how they use "and". So the person has to be be out side the home, and a distant relative to consider altering "normal" family affections .

  More bullshit from XQ.

  Not so. ANYONE DFed or DAed that is not living in the same home is to be shunned.......regardless who it is, regardless if it's in the immediate family circle or not.

  XQ...you need to read the 1981 Sept1 & 15 W. on this. There has been no changes made since then.

  Gumby
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  scotsman

  I'm not dfed but have been out for over 3 years. One brother shuns me, the other doesn't. The latter is an elder. We like to paint them as the Stepford Witnesses but they're individuals and they apply the WT principles in varying degrees.
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  Balsam

  I have only one nephew in my immediate family who is an active JW and his family. He shuns me. I do write him letters twice a year to keep him appraised of what is going on. He and I were very close like sister and brother growing up as non-witnesses kids. I became a JW then got him into it and he thus married into the JW and is raising a son in it. But before I was disf'ed I asked him if he wanted me to stay in contact, he said yes but that he would not write me, but he did want to hear from me. Also he agreed to let me know if anything happens in his family I need to know about. His Mother (my sister) is dead now.

  My oldest son is disfellowshipped, and is shunned by his Dad's Sister who is a JW. His active JW Dad is not entirey shunning him, will talk to him but would not eat with him. But he does not stop my youngest son who is baptized and inactive from associating with his brother. So I would say that is a yes and no.

  I know of JW families though that adamantly following the shunning rule in their families when one is them is disfellowshipped. And God forbid if they disassociate themselves.

  XQ don't know what they are talking about.

  JW practice shunning to a very extreme degree.

  Balsam
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  Larry

  Yes they do. I wrote a poem about it:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/76634/1.ashx

  Peace - Larry :)
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  gumby

  Balsam,

  JW practice shunning to a very extreme degree.

  As XQ mentioned....there are SOME who do not abide by the rules. My family is one of them to a certain degree. My MOM will let me visit or call whenever I wish. 2 sisters will talk on the phone...if I call them as they won't call me. My daughter and son-in-law will speak and say hello and have short conversations but no socializing.

  Yes SOME dubs do not apply the rules, but this does not negate the Organisational stance on the matter, nor do the majority of publishers break the rules, but situations do vary some.

  Gumby
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  avengers

  Sofar the only ones I have seen uniformly shuned by families are because of adultry or divorce and in many cases the family forms camps.This is what they are advocating, having no contact at all or at the most to have a minimal amount of contact.

  and that hurts like hell. my daughters, My sons are out, they are my friends.

  She is a very pro-active JW and justifies her decision not to shun saying that her boys are not apostates.

  Oh really?

  Well, I'm not going to tell her any differently. After all, why should I enable her in her delusions?

  Englishman.

  You are a real dog, you know that, deceiving your mother like that. Shame on you. (that's what my Mom always says to me)___

  Sassy. I'm with you on this. (not that that statement means much)
  I can only quote from my own experience 'cause I ain't no professional like ones who would like their typo s excused. duh.!

  Two boys of mine are out. No shunning there. As a matter of fact we are close friends. We get along fine.
  We do all kinds of great stuff.
  Then I have three girls. Two oldest stuck in dubbland.
  Youngest 13. Nice age heh? She gets study from a married sister who is herself about 20. You know the drill.
  
  I don't think you can say "shunning" and "not shunning".

  I think it depends on the influence the WT has on them. Then on the other side there's family.
  I myself think it's a pull one way then that way. Who's gonna win?
  I have not given up yet! I still say some of the Borg can be saved. I for one and all of you out there were? Or not?

  Oh Yes. Almost forgot. "Excuse Typo s". Why should I excuse your typos? You are at least as smart as I am or smarter.
  So please clean up your act on the typos. If everyone else excuses you that's their business.
  I for one think it's a stupid excuse.

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sassy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  Andy
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  Sassy

  I guess too... my point is also that even if you are not shunned completely, how many can honestly say you do things exactly the same as if you were never a JW? or as if you were still an active JW 'in' the family..

  I'm not talking about spiritual activities with the WTS.. take that out of the equation.. but how many go shopping, go to the movies, to dinner in public places? how many if you got married would have their JW family members attend?

  Even in small ways, we are not treated the same as if we were still 'in' with them..

  Sure.. some might accept our phone calls and talk for a while... but do they call us on a daily basis or weekly or monthly? like they might have before we left?

  Thank you all of you for your comments..

  Sassy. I'm with you on this. (not that that statement means much)

  Avengers... it means a lot
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  Rabbit

  • Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?

  I'm not DF/DA, but...I am definetly "marked" as a 'spiritual danger'. I went thru an un-scriptural divorce and started f a d i n g ... away. After 5 years of loneliness and celibacy...I gave up and started dating -- of course THAT was impossible because I was "not free to re-marry". I met a fantastic woman and married anyway. My JW relatives had a hissy-fit saying I could NOT marry "outside the Truth", they...100% of them...boycotted our wedding a year ago. I was told my "only" "choice...heheh" was to remain celibate...the rest of my life...or wait and hope my X would be the one to "...mess up." Yeah...right ! We have never heard one single "Congratulations."

  • Or do they hide and talk to you but only when other active JWs can't see??

  They refused to talk to or acknowledge our existence for a while. I think they were "watching to see which way the wind would blow..." One of my non-JW sisters was told by our Type-A sister elder...that they would speak to me only at "familiy functions" and then ominously added: "Unless something ...changes...". I had to explain to the non-JW -- this meant they were expecting my congo elders would probably find out I had "committed Adultry" by re-marrying and on top of that to "an un-believer...an un-clean thing !" This s---t of a religion's rules nearly tore my family apart. It hurt my new wife's feelings -- deeply...and that hurt me.

  • Do they share meals with you?

  ONLY at my Dad's house (non-JW) or a "family gathering" at a restuarant, etc. Recently my Dad was in the hospital, my JW sisters had invited ALL our JW relatives AND ALL my 'never-been-JW-relatives' to their house for a Dinner. My wife and I were not invited, nor welcome. This made the non-JW's get purdy pissed at their hosts when they found out...another FINE 'witness' was given, lol.

  • Go shopping, see movies, do PUBLIC things with you?

  Never. And they won't answer the phone or call back, until they get embarrassed for not returning 10 calls.

  * Is your life the same with them when you were a JW, as when you are not?

  Not the same at all. They act as tho' they don't WANT to get too close...'cause they think/know the Elders will catch up with me sooner or later...so they might as well start doing the "Christian" thing NOW, to get me and them used to the way things will be in the future.

  *sigh*

  Thanks Sassy...important thread !
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  amac

• Does family shun you for being DF'd, DA'd or no longer participating?

I am not DFed or DAed, just inactive. My family still associates with me. BUT, my sibling is DFed and was shunned by all of us (including me) at first. My parents have let up since then and now do things with her, even in public.