MAKE THE CALL!
Today I saw my child's sexual abuser..........and the feelinds start.
My heart goes out to all the responders. Child molesters cause SO much pain & anger.
When it happened to my own child (and I found out 10 yrs later) - I was dumbfounded. My younger brother. After a day or so - I called his wife, as they have 3 children. Children MUST come first. It was a hard call as my brother was horribly abused by my father.....and I feel he was relaying some of his anger on my daughter.
Anyway, the wife already knew, but she talked with him. He knew I was calling back, and he was there next time. I honestly think he was so ashamed. We talked for a long time, both crying, and he offered to call my daughter; but she refused. Too confusing at the time. My brother & I have never spoken to each other since that phone call. I don't believe he's ever contacted my sister either (that's our entire family, btw).
Interestingly enough, my brother has NO memory of my father. It never occurred to him that he didn't until my phone call.....because then he went to visit a therapist. I don't think my brother's a routine child molester......perhaps just a very hurt, traumatized young man lashing out. For his kids' sake, I hope so.
Child molesters hurt more than kids. Whole families are destroyed sometimes.
MAKE THE CALL.........and if you know the couple he was with......CALL THE PARENTS.
(((Bliss))) what a day!
After I left my husband for his abuse to me and physical abuse to our girls it took me ten years to be able to see him without my stomach and fist not to get in a knot. Your reaction to seeing your child's abuser doesn't surprise me at all. Make the call.
Personally I would go to the KH one day while they are all in the meeting and put warning flyers on all the cars (or IN the car of the window is open a crack.)
Everyone's heart goes out to you. I'm glad you found this board so you can share your feelings. You will not only find support but your expressions above are being read by hundreds of people, some of them who may not comment yet but have suffered similarly. As a result you are giving them support.
Years ago as a *%^#^^* elder in the congregation I used to focus on young people and the matter of suicide as it seemed so prevalent. I used to tell them if they have EVER had the notion, the best thing to do was to talk about it. I think it is the same with molestation. Because talking about it not only helps those who are expressing themselves but it helps the listeners to understand and more victims may also find their voice.
I'm glad you have told this story.
I urge you to make that phone call........the child is in danger
Unless this child molester was actually found guilty by courts.......if you go public, you may endanger yourself to a liable/slander law suit. Be very careful.
If he's actually been convicted, then slam away. If not, caution is an absolute necessity for you.
Tho it's true we don't want you embroiled in a lawsuit...One person can make a difference...I encourage you to find a way to let what he has done be known!
My nephew I mentioned above came from a family of pediphile. his grand-pa. a sexual abuser I thought he had only abused me... but when I found out how many girls in our family he abused I almost had a break down I couldn't recover from! They do abuse more than once...
Thanks for the post. bem hopes we're helping you.
while i do encourge u to be careful, i would make that call. u might want to call bill bowen and ask him what u can legally get away with. remember, it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
bem hopes we're helping you.
You are all so helpful with your words of support, encouragement, understanding, kindness, wisdom, experience, empathy, friendship and love...............something we all need at some time or other, something we find on this forum, certainly not at the KH!
If he's actually been convicted, then slam away. If not, caution is an absolute necessity for you
Waiting..................very wise advice.
As my kid's pedo was reported by us and we were the 1st to ever do it, after much legal advice and consideration, we realised he would probably get let off if we took him to court. Why? Because the detectives informed us that no other reports had ever been made against him, despite it being obvious he was well along in his predatorial behaviour. The counsellor told us that the court case would probably be more traumatic for our then 6yo child than the incident itself. So we discussed it with our child open and honestly. I reassured my kid that this was not about the pedo getting away with it or us crumbling under the pressure. It was about facts. But the most important thing we told our child was that it was like putting the matter on the 'waiting' shelf, not throwing it away..............that any time in the future it needed to be addressed again, should my child decide to go to court with it..............WE WILL BE THERE 100%, supporting and encouraging. In Australia there is no time limit for pressing charges for sexual abuse so if that's what my child needs or wants to do, so be it. I'll celebrate it!
I encourage you to find a way to let what he has done be known!
bem.............already I have told dubs when the oportunity has come up. They never speak to me again........LOL..........but at least they are informed enough to be cautious, you know, the SEED of doubt! as the dubs call it. All I care about is that the kids have the best chance of being protected, stuff what the parents think of me.
Because of the legal implications, I can't take it upon myself to name this person as a pedophile publicly. But I can, and will ring the elder who knows about his filthy preferences and the risk he is to kids. I am going to put in back on him and let him feel the weight of responsability for what may happen. He df'ed me several years ago but I got reinstated just to put the wind up some dubs. I'm inactive now but I can ring him and he has to listen.
talking about it not only helps those who are expressing themselves but it helps the listeners to understand and more victims may also find their voice.
jst2laws...............this forum helped me to make the move out of the borg. It is the best thing I ever did for myself and my family. I truley hope that it has the same effect on others who are suffering at the hands of the WTS. 'the truth will set you free'
Thanks everyone for all your kindness and love. I will keep you posted.
after i was raped by a "brother" i tried to worn others, and was also threated not too. but i did it anyhow, and well they really couldn't do much to me. Months later the sis i warned thanked me for the 'brother" also tried to rape her. I would do it again if necessary.