silly lines in the bible (page 3)

blobby

I don't think this is so silly....at last I've found a scripture that applies to me !!

Psalms 6 : 2

"Show me favor, O Jehovah, for I am fading away !"...............See !... even God approves of us escaping the borg

gumby

Genesis 19 24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah-from the LORD..... out of the heavens.

The Lord was in two places at once....(favorite trinitarian scripture)

Gumgommorah

Valis

Gumblasphemer

drwtsn32

From KJV:

Deuteronomy 14:11, 18 - Of all clean birds ye shall eat. But these are they of which ye shall not eat: ... the bat.

Judges 9:13 - Wine, which cheereth God and man.

Proverbs 23:6 - Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats.

Ezekiel 4:12 - And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man.

Ezekiel 4:15 - Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.

blobby

Deuteronomy 14:11, 18 - Of all clean birds ye shall eat. But these are they of which ye shall not eat: ... the bat.

The bat !!....who the f*** would eat a bat ! ............I nearly P****d my pants at this

Elsewhere

Deuteronomy 14:11, 18 - Of all clean birds ye shall eat. But these are they of which ye shall not eat: ... the bat.

Last I heard the bat was not a bird... it is a mamal related to rodents. Birds and bats are not anywhere near related.

Oops... does that mean the bible has an error in it?

talesin

Job 1:21 NWT

Naked I came out of my mother's belly,

and naked shall I return there.

Okaaaaay, then.

drwtsn32

LOL Elsewhere...that's exactly the point. A bat is a mammal. :-)

orangefatcat

Here is one of my favourite verses, you know it supports the law of elasticity its in. I wondered how does one saddle his ass and walk a mile

Numbers 22:21

And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. ...

I like this scrip too. I thought fat was bad for your diet? hmmmmmmmm.

Leviticus 3:16

And the priest shall burn them upon the altar: [it is] the food of the offering made by fire for a sweet savour: all the fat [is] the LORD'S. ...

I was wondering how this worked out in the long run I guess the priest was than as they say "brain dead"

Leviticus 1:15

And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and wring off his head, and burn [it] on the altar; and the blood thereof shall be wrung out at the side of the altar: ...

Oh I was also wondering from the next scripture what kind of creature did the following, maybe an alien of sorts.

Genesis 49:12

His eyes [shall be] red with wine, and his teeth white with milk. ...

And can you ever imagine what we would look like if our breast were like these,

Song of Solomon 7:7

This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters [of grapes]. ...

Well that is all folks, hope you enjoyed.

Love orangefatcat...

Yerusalyim

Leviticus 13:47 -- A garment can have leprosy
Leviticus 14:34 -- Jehovah can put leprosy into a house. (The house itself, not the people inside it.)

Remember, the definition of leprorsy was not a medical one back then, it included a LOT of issues, like MOLD growing on clothes and on walls.

silly lines in the bible

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