Would You Have Ever Let Your Child Die & Refuse A Blood Transfusion?

by minimus 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sassy
    Sassy

    well I have had two children have surgeries and the conversations with drs that no matter what happened we would not accept blood. Can I know what I would have done if they had come to us at a crucial moment and said they were dying and this was their only chance if I would have changed my mind? No. However, I do think I was so blinded by what I had been told, that I think I would have reasoned I had to obey or perhaps it might have gotten them death at Armegeddon, so I would have been fearful I was selfishly saving them but ending their chance at live eternal just to hold on to them a little longer..

    The really sad part comes in when if you have been parent under those circumstances and made that choice not to allow blood, truly believing it was for their life eternal chance for obedience to God, only to find out later that the WTS is full of lies. That they lost their child for nothing........

    Now how do you live with that?

  • Deleted
    Deleted

    Nope. That's one of the few things that I had made up my mind on, about 1994. I had told my wife that if the kids needed a transfusion they would get it. I couldn't work out what blood products were okay and what weren't so as far as I was concerned it was between me and Jah've the Volcano God. The mistake I made was to not tell the kids this until we left. My son (the one who thought we had left a minimum security cult whe asked if he minded not going to meetings) said Thank God for that!!! I wish I had told him earlier.

  • Freedom Fighter
    Freedom Fighter

    I know this is straying a bit from the original topic - my mum carries her ' no transfusion' card and I have often wondered what I would do if she needed blood in an emergency.

    My dad - never been a JW - says that her wishes should be respected, but I couldn't stand back and let anything endanger her life. I don't know if I could legally over rule this -certainly if doctors etc asked me, I would say 'give her everything that's needed'.

    I suppose my difficulty is that she is obviously an adult, I don't have any real power in this situation. Hopefully this will be something we won't face, and my heart goes out to Balsam. Makes a lot of our own problems seem really petty and minor compared to what you've been through.

    Does anyone have any advice or thoughts regarding adults?

    FF

  • finallyspringlol
    finallyspringlol

    thank god i was not faced with that...and when push comes to shove...there is no way i could have upheld that policy. and the way i see it...that is murder! i truly believe that god is a loving god and i dont think he would judge a parent as harshly as the congregation would. also, near the end, before i left the organization, i fessed up to the po that i could not, with a clear conscience go door to door telling people to abstain from blood, when i know for a fact i could not stand up to that policy for myself. he became annoyed because it was coffee nite and everyone was upstairs. so he told me that it sounded to him that i needed to study the bible more....it just does not seem right to me...this policy.

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    I used to write on any excursion forms that I would not allow my child to have a blood transfusion. I even made up a card for my child laminated and all. He cut it up about 2 days after I made it, he's only six.(smart kid)

    Deep down I know I could have let him die. I feel that they were my beliefs, not my childs, why should I let him die enforcing my beliefs on a 6 year old child.

  • Scully
    Scully

    When I had my firstborn, I had signed all the papers ahead of time refusing the use of blood for myself in the event of an emergency during childbirth. I haemorrhaged after the birth, I didn't even get to see the baby until the next day. I have no memory from shortly after the birth until I started coming around in the recovery room four hours later. The first thing the nurse said to me was how stupid I was to refuse blood, and how lucky I was to still be around. My next memory was waking up in the hospital room; it was dark again so at least 12 hours had passed. My haemoglobin level, I was informed, was about 40% of what it was before the delivery. I passed out the first couple of times the nurses tried to get me up to the bathroom. It took 5 days for me to recover sufficiently to be able to go home; my doctor really would have preferred to have me stay another day or so. The congregation congratulated me for taking a stand... they had no idea how traumatic it was for me to think about what a close call I'd just had... but Jehovah Had Protected Me?, right??

    To be honest, I really pushed all conscious thought out of my mind about the possibility of one of my children ever being in a situation where blood would be an issue. When they introduced the blood card for unbaptized minors, we were forced to think about it, and I couldn't imagine putting my kids through the frightening ordeal that I'd gone through. We "forgot" to renew that card, even though we continued to renew our own. Incidentally, a young chap in our congregation passed away after a long battle with leukemia, his parents refused to allow blood transfusions from the beginning.

    What bothers me most, though, is knowing that my parents, without a doubt, would have let me or any of my siblings die rather than allow a blood transfusion. A couple of times we had these morbid "practice sessions" that basically rehearsed what they would say to the doctors. I still have a hard time with that.

    Love, Scully

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    As strong a JW as I and my wife thought we were (she was raised in it) we discussed this issue several times over the years. My daughter was born 33 years ago. And we sincerly believed that as much as we loved our daughter and loved Jehovah...........that the life of our daughter would be more important no matter the consequences in the org. and the congo. After all..............when enough tears are shed and remorse is shown.........you are the "good guys" again after a year of shunning by your peers and a year of kissing "cheeks" and being humble to the elders.

    My wife was a sort of rebel in her own way..........I learned a lot of her secret feelings about the religion from my daughter after my wife died. Sure wish she would have shared some of these feelings with me years ago.

    But life must go on..............

    HappyDad

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    alamb,

    Thank you for that document. At this stage of life I will not need it for anyone but am printing it to keep in case it may ever be necessary for anyone I know...............

    HappyDad

  • Fleur
    Fleur
    I'm about the least fervid person you will ever want to meet, actually. I just feel sorry for dead babies who had fervid self-righteous parents that can feel like victims themselves, later.

    like putting them down a GARBAGE DISPOSAL?! are you freaking kidding me?

    gits i too am sickened by your posts. your lack of compassion for people who have been through grief that you cannot fathom, is, simply dispicable. i hope that you never lose someone you love...and if you do, i hope to hell that there are more compassionate, understanding people around you than you are being in this thread.

    your posts are BRUTAL.

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Freedom Fighter,

    Do not respect your Mothers wishes if it comes to your decision. To respect her wishes would be to take responsiblity for her death honoring them. Of course it is up to her while she is able too. And you might want to let your Dad know the same thing. Does he want to honor his wife's wishes even if it means her unnecessary death. Personally I don't any non-witness should respect JW's stand on blood for any reason.

    It will probably be out of you and your Dad's hands that being the case then nothing can be done but to try and reason with her.

    Balsam

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