by minimus 51 Replies latest jw friends
alamb, thank you, you are a gem. i knew it was out there somewhere (should've known randy would have it covered, you still da man randy!) thank you so much for saving me the search.
am printing now, will get it notorized. she should have it with her all the time, anyway.
thank you!!!!!
fleur
Thanks Alamb for that form. It is useful for those who have children where one parent is still an active JW.
The horror of letting a child die because you have been told that God forbids the use of Blood transfusions even to save la ife is beyond words. It is every JW parents greatest nightmare, and it happen to me and my family. It ripped our lives completely apart. Our son's death, our divorce, my leaving the JW and taking my remaining two son's with me. Only my ex-husband remains a JW today. Once we were a very faithful obedient JW family. Competely loyal to the WTS. The WTS lost 4 faithful servants the day my son died. And I am sure this happens over and over again in families where a child does related to blood transfusion refusal to save their lives.
When Dak died at age 15, I saw sickening realization of "it can happen to me" in the faces of the other witnesses. Its a time too painful to contimplate. Yes my son died when his father refusing blood transfusion for him after being in a car accident. Would it have saved him, we will never know. They said he would have no chance if he didn't get blood. My ex-husband I am sure thinks of it every day of his life just as I do. And I am sure he does not wear it as a badge of honor in the JW's. The pain of it is a sickening gut wretching pain one does not think they can survive.
As his Dad refused blood for him I silently prayed they would give him blood to him anyway to try and save him. Indeed the Doctor did, for he had the legal right to do so. Dak almost made it but finally in the end his heart stopped.
Being in a hospital waiting room and having them move you to a private room to tell you your child did not make it is a memory hard to live with. Hearing the screams of pain and anguish, only to realize it has come from you. Everyone with you crying, our hearts ripped out. Wanting to die too. Seeing your child laying on bed prepared and cleaned up so you can say your goodbyes. Cutting a lock of hair and laying across their body sobbing your heart out wondering how this could happen to you. Aside from anything to do with blood, a child dying is the most devastating death there is to experience. I know I've buried both my parents, my sister, and my son. Losing Dak is the worse thing I've ever experienced in my life. Every day I wonder which of my other two sons will die next. Death become part of your every day life. Everything you think, everything you do.
The WTS will never change their policy on this. They have painted themselves into a corner on this policy and they don't care its kills anyone. So long as it does not affect those on the governing body they do not care. They don't even care that there is no sound foundation for their policy making in the bible. A man made rule that continues to take the lives of Jehovah's Witnesses. And yes those who stay in will continue to lose their children to death because of it.
Yes the blame stops with those of us who are willing to follow rules we don't understand because we don't know anything but what we were willing to believe and trust from the Watchtower Society. Each and every single person with children in the witnesses better stop and think and imagine their child dead before buying into the WTS policy on blood transfusions. Be informed, do your bible research, and think. Save your childrens live's because if you don't the remainder of your life will be lived in a torment you will wish you had never known.
Take it from someone who know from experience.
Balsam
(((Sweet Balsam))) I was thinking of you in my previous post.
I know how lucky we were that the tests on our daughter were wrong. For the life of me I cannot imagine your pain. Following a rule because you think it comes directly from God is powerful. But living with that pain will never ever equal the pain of losing Dak.- Ever.
I hurt just thinking about what may have been for my beautiful daughter. I think a lot of people secretly wish the doctors will force the blood through a court order. They get to save their child and bear no blame. I'm so sorry that didn't work for Dak.
If Dak's death meant anything at all it was that his mother and brother's are now free. Perhaps that was the gift of his death. His brothers and mother will never have to experience this turmoil over a blood issue
oh, Balsam. i can't stop crying right now :( i am so, sorry about Dak. its just not fair, no one should ever have to lose a child.
i hope with all my heart that your courage in sharing your experience here will cause some lurkers to think. to realize, to know. maybe your telling us what happened to you will help to save a life, or more than one.
thank you is all i can think to say, but that is so inadequate. i wish that i could hug you.
fleur
I have been in this situaition, one of my child, must do a radher difficultr operaiton, I ask her what she want hereelf, and she say she dont want to be a JW (13years od) so I tell the docktors that she have the freedom to deside this herself.
What else can I do?
Gita, if you ever were a true believer, you know that shouldn't be so harsh. If you doubted that it was the "truth", then--good for you. You were smarter than a lot of us..
I'm not being harsh, I'm just telling it like it is. We were all Jdubs and to some degree we were all idiots, but blaming our idiocy competely on the Society is pedantic. To quote Ben Kenobi "Who is more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him." And yes I know the old blah blah blah about "What if it was YOUR baby back then?" Well it wasn't and I never had to deal with that situation. But for those who did and who did let their children die from a lack of blood transfusion, they are as guilty for their deaths as would a person who willingly through their baby in a garbage disposal. Yes the garbage disposal did the dirty work, but the parent facilitated it. Gita of the "Sick of Victimization Mentaility" Class.
Gita - harsh? ya, you are being harsh. You have a valid point to make, but you don't need to make with such self-righteous fervor.
I don't think I would have let it happen. But I left before I had any children. But I remember thinking about it. You see when I was a dubbie, courts in Massachusetts routinely overrode parental no-blood decisions regarding children. As much as we could avow our commitment to the society's orders, I think most people felt that the legal system would interfere with (Actuall I think we felt protected from) our religious stance. It happened in our cong. a couple times.
Gits your response makes me feel ill.
I understand what you are saying but if you haven't been in the situation with a husband and the elders pressuring you to follow the rules then there is no way you could assess not should you condemn a person for giving in to pressure that you are tolf comes from Goid Himself.
There is a huge difference bewteen a deliberate act of violence or neglact against a child that would cause death and this situation. I believe the JWs parents who have lost a child due to this policy (or anyone who has lost a loved one due to this policy) is so torn and aches inside. Balsam expressed herself well. But when you have a husband who is a JW the voice of a woman won't be heard even if she did want to allow the blood. Fathers and elders apply unbelievable pressure to conform.
I knew years ago of JWs who would just quietly take the blood and ask for no visitors so they wouldn't get caught. That rarley happens anymore. The elders are waiting and watching. There is little opportunity to accept blood even if you wanted to.
Believe me people like Balsam feel enough remorse without piling it on. How about a little compassion for the difficult situation they were in?
And as a person who had a mother who kept throwing her away for others to care for - it ain't the same!
Happy Man I'm glad you listened to her wishes and she got the help she needed.
there is no way you could assess not should you condemn a person for giving in to pressure that you are tolf comes from Goid Himself..
Im having some trouble parsing that, but no I don't condemn anyone.
Gita - harsh? ya, you are being harsh. You have a valid point to make, but you don't need to make with such self-righteous fervor.
I'm about the least fervid person you will ever want to meet, actually. I just feel sorry for dead babies who had fervid self-righteous parents that can feel like victims themselves, later.
