HELP ME! I cant cope with this anymore.

by chok 49 Replies latest jw experiences

  • New Castles
    New Castles

    Its important for you to be strong and not give in. They are pressuring because this is what they believe is true.

    You are doing the right thing!! Dont let anyone convince you otherwise!!

  • exjdub
    exjdub
    I thought that my mum and dad loved me. Parents are supposed to have this unconditional love for their children, but unfortunately I am seeing that their love HAS conditions. They are that I do what they consider the right thing.

    Chok,

    Have you said this to them? If not, then you should. That is a very powerful statement and takes the argument away from the rhetoric and focuses on the relationship. Dubs get so used to the "cookie cutter" lines and counsel that they hear, and then repeat, to the point that they are blind and overlook obvious issues. Unconditional parental love is one of those issues.

    exjdub

  • undercover
    undercover
    There were 6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong.

    6,624? Seems to me that District Convention numbers are dropping. I remember when there were 12,000. Then 10,000. Then 8,000. Now they're down to just over 6500.

    Anyhoo, it just kills me how they use this reasoning. "So many can't be wrong." There are 6,000,000 JWs in the world. Sounds like a lot. But then there are 7 billion people in the world. The population of the USA is over 288 million. If all the JWs were located in the States, there would be 120,000 JWs per state. The population of my home town is greater than that. The anointed and remnant thereof could not fill up a good sized city.

    When you grow up with this religion you don't realize just how insignificant JWs are in the grand scheme of things. We thought that we were some kind of elite group and that everthing that happened was somehow related to us and how Jehovah was arranging his plan to fulfillment. After we take our head out of the sand(or our ass, depending on how righteous we were) we can reallly see that this is a fringe religion, cult if you will, with no real significance to political, religious or any other program paid attention to by those in the real world.

  • happehanna
    happehanna

    Hi Chok

    Sorry you are finding it hard at the moment, in time lets hope they will see you are ok and your children too without being a witness

    Although they seem not to love only conditionally you by the things they are saying but I am pretty sure they do. As you say they have a bunch of old men telling them what to think and when.

    have sent you a PM

  • Corvin
    Corvin
    Why wont they listen to me when I say I want to live my live my way.

    For one thing, they "know you know it is the truth". They are counting on you still thinking this religion is the true one and they will exploit that assumption until you tell them flat out and straight out that you no longer believe it is the truth, that you feel sorry for them because they still think it's the truth and still caught up and controlled by it, and that you will never let your daughter be raised in such a religious cult. That should do the trick. If you had fading in mind, you can toss that idea now.

    When it came to my kids, for example, the only way I could truly protect them from the organization and their JW mother and stepfather was to come out directly against their ways. When you tell a PO, or a friend or relative that the religion is total bs and you simply do not want to hear about it anymore, they will take a step back. You'll be marked, but in the end it simply does not matter. You will be free.

    I gained custody of my kids a while back and have been deprogramming them. They go over to their mother's to visit and staunchly object to going to meetings, out in field service, and the family Bible study. Mom and stepdad have backed way off. My kids, although in their teens now, still have a shot at some kind of a normal childhood. It is do-able.

    Best Regards,

    Corvin

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    "We had a wonderful time at the assembly yesterday, missed you though. There were 6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong. I am sure Jehovah's spirit was there.

    Who talks like that ??? Talk about insecure

    • "We had a wonderful time at the assembly yesterday, missed you though."
    • Translation - I wonder why our child thinks it's codswallop.
    • "There were 6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong."
    • Translation - We've been wondering if they're wrong.
    • "I am sure Jehovah's spirit was there."
    • Translation - I sure hope that mass hype had something to do with God.

    You know what, I know that you know its the truth when you have sorted your life out I know you will return to the truth. Jehovah is waiting to forgive you and keep you safe."

    Translation - Please reinforce our delusion, it keeps fading at the edges - the fact that you currently think it's codswallop is understandable, but we basically think the sky is going to fall in and we don't want you getting hurt.

  • Swan
    Swan

    This was a riot!

    "We had a wonderful time at the assembly yesterday, missed you though. There were 6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong. I am sure Jehovah's spirit was there. You know what, I know that you know its the truth when you have sorted your life out I know you will return to the truth. Jehovah is waiting to forgive you and keep you safe."

    Ask her if this new light from the Assembly; that this is the new basis of how people should pick a religion?

    Tell her that in that case, the JWs don't include enough celebrities! The percentage of celebs to average JWs is way low. Also, not only is the quantity of celebs is low, so is the quality. Tell her Michael Jackson (accused of child molestation, coincidentally) and Prince just don't compare to John Travolta and Tom Cruise and you are thinking of joining the Scientologists.

    Tammy

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2

    I told my JW mom that I just will not discuss the religion with here any more. If she wants to keep me up to date on old friends I had at the Hall, sure, but we do NOT talk about doctrine, last days...yadda yadda or holidays etc. It was the best decision I have ever made. We live miles apart now cross country, but still talk on the phone and email...no JW talk makes our relationship much better. (I don't think my mom agrees...oh well!)

    When they tell you they had a good time at the assembly, just say, oh how nice, I am glad you enjoyed yourself. You are NOT responsible to get them out of the religion, only for your life and your kids. If you do allow your daughter to go to the meetings, I don't think it would hurt to tell her that the Happy bday song is a great song, but not really a good song to sing at the hall. But if you could, I wouldn't let her go to the meetings....My daughter Rebecca has been maybe once or twice in her life, but because my mom used to babysit her, and because my stepdaughters' grandmother used to be a JW and took them to a LOT of assemblies and such, I am STILL trying to get "hover" out of the 4 year old's head.....ssshhhheeeeesssshhhhhhhh........at least the JW concept of Jehovah

    My brother used to sing the theme from the old Batman show during the prayer hahah...it was a hoot!

    Hang tough, kiddo!

  • dh
    dh
    6,624 there, so many people can't be wrong

    it sure makes you wonder about those michael bolton fans doesn't it.

    5 million people can be wrong!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Besides leaving a religion, there is a parent-child struggle going on here. I can relate, because I learned late in life that there is NOTHING MY PARENTS CAN DO if I do something they don't like. It was a wonderfully liberating experience. And it was over a damn cat.

    My parents consider pets to be messy, sheddy things. Growing up, I made do with fish and gerbils, though I campaigned unflaggingly for a puppy or kitten. As an adult, I had to wait to break free, since landlords had a similar opinion. Finally, when my children were teenagers, I bought my first home, and promptly started laying wallpaper. And I got a kitten.

    The first cat prompted no comment from my dad. But. When dad came to pick me up, and my second ginger kitty was there to greet him, he swore like a sailor. "Not another one!". Then it dawned on me. There was absolutely nothing my dad could do about it. I could get a dozen cats, and there was absolutely nothing my dad could do about it.

    I was me. I was an adult.

    Here is the trick for you,

    Why wont they listen to me when I say I want to live my live my way.

    The best way to get them to listen is to go ahead and live your way. Your daughter is right. Follow her lead.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit