Idiotic things only a jw would say (page 3)

Pleasuredome

"glaciers dont change landscapes(talking about the iceage), because if you rub a piece of ice against a stone it doesnt wear away the stone."

franklin J

...my father was asked to change his job as an Engineer for Gruman Aerospace doing defense work. He complied.

....I was told I could not watch "I dream of Jeannie", and "Bewitched" ( 1960s sitcoms on TV) because they would bring demons through the TV.

...we could not own any antique furniture ( nothing from garage sales or antique shops) as they might be a beach head for the DEMONS ( HA!)

WHAT A BIZARRE WAY TO LIVE !!!!!

Oh Jebus, Save Me From Your Followers!

I think a few of my favorites as a kid were:

No you cant watch E.T. - its demonized, and when my grandmother found out I had an E.T. doll...here comes all the "he comes alive at night and will get you" speaches Great stuff for an impressionable child to hear. Way to go granny

This demonisim also refered to the Smurfs LOL

According to my immediate still JW family, any extra-terrestrials, if they do exist, are demons.

As I got older and make up was an issue, I would hear.."not to much, you look like Jezebel"

Oh I could go on and on LOL

micheal

A number of years ago I purchased a 36" television and a brother suggested that I buy a cabinet with a door on it so that when people visited they wouldn't think that I put alot of emphasis on t.v.

Do you remember this one? "Television is the devil's eyeball" But yet 99% of them own one.

Mary

Every damn vacation we ever went on (very few at that) my dad would get everyone in the car and before starting it he would have everyone bow their heads and say a "vacation protection" prayer

Oh........my............god.......... just when I thought I'd heard everything. Lemme guess, it probably went something like this:

".....everybody bow yer heads!!..................Geeee-ho-vah, our Father in the heavens, we wish to approach you in vacation prayer now and ask that you automatically steeeeeeeer dis here car straight to the nearest Kingdumb Hall in [wherever you were going].

Geeeeee-ho-vah, we want to thank you for supplying us with de Paradise Lost book that our child-run can memorize in the car on our way to the nearest King-dumb Hall. We pray that this book scares the Ba-Geeeee-sus out of them, especially the Ar-ma-gettin pictures that shows what'll happen to them if they ever decide to leeeeeave the Borganization. We also praaaay that we don't have too good of a time on our vacation, except for when we attend the Kingdumb Hall and the 5 hours that we'll be spending on Saturdays out in Seeeerrrrvice.

Be with our brothers who cannot make it to all the meetings and service while they're on vacation.........may your spir-ut be with them especially in Disney World, except for those who go into the Haunted Mansion. Pleeeeeease Geee-hovah, strike em dead!!

We ask aaawwwwlll dis in Geeeeee-sus' name...............Amen.

Elsewhere

lol @ mary... yup! That's about right!

"glaciers dont change landscapes(talking about the iceage), because if you rub a piece of ice against a stone it doesnt wear away the stone."

You reminded me of a GREAT way to ferret out the die-hard-fundi-psycho-christians.

I was once talking with a group of people and we started talking about geology and inevitably the Grand Canyon came up... so I started talking about how it is made almost entirely of granite, one of the hardest rocks on earth. I pointed out how "some people" believe that the Grand Canyon was carved out during the 40-day flood with Noah. Think about it... the pyramids and all of the other monuments in Egypt are made of granite, and after 3000 years of harsh desert erosion they are STILL standing and very close to their original form. There is absolutely NO way the granite in the Grand Canyon could have been carved out in a 40-day flood.

All of the die-hard-fundi-psycho-christians suddenly got the ?Deer in the headlights? look.

littletree

In the Kingdom Ministry (geez, it took me a while to remember what that little paper was called!), there was an article about gatherings. One of our elders was delivering the part, and he said, "see, it didn't say anywhere in here that we are supposed to dance!" How retarded! To think that if something isn't explicitly mentioned then it's a no-no. Oh, I went out with his son a few times, and he did more than "dance"...