Idiotic things only a jw would say

by micheal 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    "The safest place to be is in the middle of the congregation (and its activities)"

  • New Castles
    New Castles

    An elder gave a talk once, stating that the next time we go to vacation, we should look up the nearest kingdom hall so we can attend all meetings and go out in service while on vacation. Yea right!!!

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool
    attend all meetings and go out in service while on vacation

    I've heard a number of elders say this, but they don't do it themselves. That's what their wives told me anyway.

    Walter

  • truthbeliever
    truthbeliever

    Ive heard them say that the date failures were true back then.Your right they are idiots.

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    All chairs and sofas should be pointed in the direction of Bethel or at least the WT Index.

    (Gosh I just know they are going to appoint me again)

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    An elder gave a talk once, stating that the next time we go to vacation, we should look up the nearest kingdom hall so we can attend all meetings and go out in service while on vacation. Yea right!!!

    Oh gaaaaawd I hated that! Every damn vacation we ever went on (very few at that) my dad would get everyone in the car and before starting it he would have everyone bow their heads and say a "vacation protection" prayer.

    Wherever we went we just haaaad to find the KH and attend ALL of the meetings and go out in FS on Saturday. Hell, one of our "vacations" was to tour bethel. An yes, we actually went to visit the Wild Beast (aka, United Nations building).

  • Undaunted Danny
    Undaunted Danny

    MOST STUPID SAYING BY THE WT$LOL Alert ! 1990 District Convention Providence Rhode Island USA.The same DC that the WT$ said;"Don't get pregnant and have babies cause the end is just sooo close".Family 4 Watchtower commands: DO NOT WATCH THE SIMPSON'S ANIMATED TV SHOW !!! That takes the cake right there. My longstanding favorite is WT$ creedo:"..no matter what Jehover is still using this organization,..."Danny's reply: Jehovah is a Jinn

  • littletree
    littletree

    I think it's stupid that brothers have said from the platform: "Don't be deceived by 'nice' people who are wordly. Even the WORST Jehovah's Witness is better than the nicest wordly person, because they don't have the Truth." Hmmmm???.... I wonder is it the Truth that makes some of those brothers treat their families like crap!? I'd take a wonderful wordly man (which I have) over that ANY day! To think, if I hadn't have woken up, I still might be waiting- like alot of my old girlfriends- for a nice brother to snatch me up. Well, after he's dated 8 other sisters at the same time and decided I'm "worthy"... (oh sorry, I had a flashback) :-)

  • micheal
    micheal
    we should look up the nearest kingdom hall so we can attend all meetings and go out in service while on vacation

    This reminded me of how often we were all encouraged to "never take a vacation from the truth", we should not only go to the meetings but we should also engage in informal witnessing while on vacation. I.E. gas stations, hotel employees, waiters, etc...

    Just a little fanatical, don't you think?

  • micheal
    micheal

    "If your job is making you miss meetings, it is a good idea to quit your job, trust in jehovah and make all the meetings, he will provide for you"

    Yeah right. Say that to a family of 5 with debt. Sure he'll/she'll get another job, as an office cleaner!!

    Seems like these are the only jobs jehovah provides.

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