Well, ever think about leaving your mate for someone else ???

by run dont walk 107 Replies latest jw friends

  • dawn27
    dawn27

    We women can be pretty perceptive when it comes to our man and it sounds as if your wife already senses that something may be wrong and that is why she would over-react on the phone. If you love her, it sounds like a crucial time to show her that she is still your "babe" and not your "old lady" by courting her again and by looking at her like you would look at that young hot co-worker (when guys look at a woman like they've just seen their first Trans Am). It'll take alot more energy and time than it would to jump in the sack with the other girl, because a marriage is both people giving 100% and not just 50/50. If you want the easy road, I would go for the girl at work, but her looks will inevitably fade as well and I wouldn't trust her not to cheat,, If your wife has been you best friend, confidant and soulmate and there is any chance that the two of you can get that back, you will have something priceless that some people will never experience in a lifetime,, Just my two-cents.

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface


    Well ... Knowing in what you are working it is already big stuff you didn't fall into the cheating on my wife program.

    To me if she is jealous king of girl :

    More she's getting old and more she will be affraid and less she will be able to be what you like in her because this is why she become fade (uncounsciously) I guess she is scared that she can not match with the young girls you are working with. And as far as you don't change your job and way to see your wife, it will go worse and worse

    This is not really about being jealous in fact this is about being the third wheel (nobody likes that) like she's here to cook and clean the house ... ARE YOU ESPECTING SEX from her ? How do you show it ?

    Only a few gals can stand this kind thing :

    • Those who got a hunsband who knows how to make them feel good (anyway) You can quitte for her (but it seem that you don't want to - for money are you sur ? does it worse it ?)
    • Those who don't care their husband cheating on them (either because they do it themself - or because they just don't care, feeling that it can be a ponctual need and nothing else (nothing than have a real impact on the couple relationship - means that you ll have to put a lot more job to please her (it is a duty in this situation) but a house and a car ... please. What is that ? Even if could be a material type of woman, Being venal doesn't mean being happy !

    Your job is a problem for most of women : the young one your are working with may be more jealous (and on the same job) than your actual wife. If not she will be there or somewhere else in a bar and younger than you ! OOooops the wheel is turning and your not getting younger ... and young guys will take place in the / her / your job too ... Now how do you feel ?

    Take care you know what you leave, you don't know what you'll get after

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    I was married for 16 years, and the last 11 were without any intimacy of any kind. I left the JW religion last year. She decided to remain a JW. She became very resentful of the friendships I developed on the board. We tried several marriage counsellers, but our differences were too great, and the counsellors didn't have much hope for us. We separated in December, as we no longer had anything in common. She made a suicide attempt the day after I moved, and was hospitalized. Luckily she survived, and is getting counselling and is on meds. Now we're going through the legal process of dividing the assets.

    I would reccomend counselling, for both of you, before leaving a spouse. There is too much invested in a marriage, emotionally and materially, to let it go easily.

    Walter

  • talesin
    talesin

    rdw

    I remembered your birthday post, I assumed you were single

    It's my birthday as well, as alot of you know i run a bar, and work with 10 beautiful girls, well, they are taking me out for drinks tonight, , i WILL be home late.

    One of my good friends worked in a bar for 12 years. The owner went home every nite at 5 p.m. He had competent night managers, and was only there on rare occasions in the evening.

    No wonder your wife is jealous.

    And from the way you talk about her 'looks fading' etc., it seems as though you have already left the marriage emotionally and are looking for an excuse to leave it by placing all the blame on her.

    You have a lot of good advice on this thread. If you are really interested in saving your marriage, I suggest you sift through it, and act. If you are not, then be honest with yourself first, then your wife.

    my two cents

    talesin

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface

    The more I'm thinking of you and the more I really think you are in a mid-life crisis ... Why at 37 should be the question but it is only normal as you are working in a very yound environment. Your job is fooling you

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    Talesin, Ditto!

    RDW......... a married man is married even when his wife is not watching. I believe we feel good about our relationships when we honor them, when we are persons of good character and treat each other with respect. To me, it is not respectful to spend your birthday out with 10 beautiful women from work.

    You have to think which is more important: your job or your wife? If you say your wife, well then that does not mean that you give up your job. Just learn to manage your job cuz right now it's managing you.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine
    Why are women so jealous of other women and feel so threatened ???????

    LOL! Good one!

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie
    how many of you have thought or HAVE left your mate for someone else, was it worth it, or worth it that you stayed ???

    I did. I left him for me. I needed to find myself.

    Why are women jealous? I am not jealous. My hubby is the one with that problem.

    Whats the worse that can happen. He leaves me for someone else? Its better than being dead.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    RDW,

    I'll be honest. I was married years ago to my first husband. I had an affair with a coworker and eventually my ex-husband and I divorced. It was emotional devastation like none I've ever experienced. Why? Because the man I had the affair with LEFT ME eventually. I realized how much damage I caused in my wake of selfishness. Not only did it damage so many things in my wake, but it damaged my future relationship with my current husband. I had a history of cheating. It's something my darling current husband always has in the back of his mind. I HATE the fact that I've caused that when he is an innocent bystander AND I've changed my ways. His fault? Hardly think so.

    I promise you. If you don't handle this with some propriety and dignity, you will regret it. And in the meantime, you will probably break your wife's heart. Do the right thing. Is your marriage already over? Take care of that before you bone some other girl. Then you're free to do what you want. Give your wife AND yourself that respect.

    Andi - from the "learned the hard way class"

  • Smoldering Wick
    Smoldering Wick

    I may be watching too much reality TV (I love the SWAN!), but...I'd suggest -

    a "Restore Your Wife" project

    Take all that money you are making at the bar and invest it in your wife. Buy her some new boobs, a tummy tuck, hair extensions and a spray on tan (or whatever she thinks she needs). She'll feel great and more desirable and in turn, that will make you desire her more.

    Stop looking in the showroom at all those new cars when you have a classic sitting at home.

    The only problem with "fixin up" your wife is that all the young hot guys might want a test-drive. (...oops, that might make you jealous.)

    I thought the car/woman analogy would work well in this testosterone-laden thread.

    ~wick (truly a classic class)

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