Are you Gay

by butterfly 55 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  blacksheep

  Hi Butterfly, welcome!

  I am not gay (nor homophobic!). I always feel for people who are in relationships with JW's, ex-JWs, etc. Those of us who WERE JW's always feel it's difficult for our partners to really relate to us without having been through what we've been through as JW's.

  You might already be aware of this, but the JW's are some of the most homophobic people on the planet. Not sure if this is the case now, but I recall reading JW "testimonials" in their Watchtower and Awake mags, about gays who became JWs. In order to do so, they had to fight their "sinful" nature, of course, by no longer being gay. I remember reading "success" stories about how JW's who were gay "reformed." They usually threw in how they were now happy in hetero marriages.

  I mention this because, like with most of us former JWs, your partner might have some extra-JW imposed baggage. It's great you are taking steps to help understand/explore.

  Welcome again!
• 

  CountryGuy

  HI Butterfly...

  On behalf of the southern US 'mos, let me welcome you to the board.

  I realized I was gay in high school. In the grand tradition of my family, I chose to ignore it. That would make it go away, right? Well, that didn't work. So, every night and several times a day, I would pray to Jehovah to help me change. That didn't work either. I finally realized, that God does help humans, but not always in the way we want. I honestly believe that he didn't help me change because he doesn't care if I'm gay or straight. Just like he doesn't care if I have blue, brown or green eyes.

  I still have a close relationship with God. I was able to have reconcile my faith to being gay when I realized that being gay and a Christian was not an either/or matter. It is entirely possible to be a good, gay Christian. (Regardless of what some of the fundamentalists might say.)

  This board is a great place. As are the other boards that you have been directed to. Please feel free to ask me anything.

  CountryGuy
• 

  copsec

  I like men and women although I don't really consider myself bi-sexual because I have only had two experience with women. Hmm, how many eperiences do you have to have to be BI???? Anyways, although I enjoyed it immensely and won't rule out it ever happening again, I do prefer men. I do have several gay and lesbian friends.
• 

  NaruNaruChan

  Are you gay? How did you come to terms with that? Do you still have a relationship with GOD and how did you come to terms with that?

  Welcome to the board Butterfly! My name on here is Naru, but my real name is Gayle. I'm 22, and I came out and disassociated when I was 20 years old. I'm openly a lesbian and I hardly hesitate these days to hide who i am. ^_^

  How did I come to terms with it?? Well, it took an elder meeting for me to not feel the immediate fear, but it's been quite a process. I struggle sometimes, because as you know coming out is so damned hard, and feeling the opposition is even worse. I spent a lot of time getting to know myself better, and that helped me to get to know what I wanted to do with my life. I have aa wonderful girlfriend who has been with me since I came out, so 1.5 years now. ^_^ She and I live happily together in an apartment, and are working diligently towards a better life.

  I have no relationship with God IF you evaluate it by JW definitions. I do not attend any christian churches because I'm still wounded from the JW stuff... but I also have no desire for belief in a god right now. That's a personal feeling nothing more... I didn't come to terms with it yet, two years and counting... Don't expect it to be easy but you'll find your way. Just.. hmm... don't forget to let yourself live once in a while. ^_^ PM me if you want to talk more bout this stuff, or e-mail [email protected] and we'll chat. IF not, then take my advice, and don't let the dubs get to you. ^_^
• 

  Gretchen956

  I wish 95% of the worlds men were Gay which would leave more women for me

  Oh no, you forgot about us lesbians! Save some for us! Actually I'm very happily partnered up but I couldn't resist.

  Hmm, how many eperiences do you have to have to be BI????

  Well lets see, Rita Mae Brown says that she thinks there should be a polka-dot on everyone's forehead. The purely white ones would be those who truly have never even thought about gay sex, the pure heterosexuals. The dark purple polka-dots would be for those that knew they were gay practically from birth. Everyone else gets something in between. Those who have thought about it but never done it would be a pale purple. One or two encounters might get you lavendar. Etc, etc. She says there would be a lot less homophobics when they saw how few purely white polka-dots there were in the world. The polka-dots aren't what you tell people you are, its what you are that you might not even admit to yourself. I've always liked that analogy.

  I'm sure there would be plenty of people who would argue that, but oh well.

  Gretchen
• 

  confusedjw

  Again not gay, but I wonder if all of us up here who are "fading" can relate?

  Can't to talk to anyone about how you really feel?

  Scared that if your friends and family find out they will reject you?

  Thinking if you could just try hard enough you could just go along with everyone else and fake it?

  Of course for many up here they have read "Crisis in Conscience" to become a fader, is there any one book you can read that could turn you gay? I've always suspected there was.

  Welcome
• 

  NaruNaruChan

  is there any one book you can read that could turn you gay?

  Nope. But there are a lot of books that make men and women "curious" about homosexuality, and cause a lot of people to lean towards experimentation... usually, if a person stays gay or lesbian after experimentation, they've come out.
  

  After all.. why CHOOSE to be something that isn't exactly welcomed in society? It's much much harder to be gay or lesbian than it is to be straight because of the extent of persecution faced by homosexuals daily. ...

  .. but... if I had to guess on that book thing, anything by the Watchtower, if prolonged exposure occurs, could probably turn a person gay... after all, it damn near kept me straight...
• 

  copsec

  Gretchen,

  Wow, I had never heard Rita Mae Brown make that statement! I truly enjoy her Mrs. Murphy cat books and the others that are not in that line! And yes, I think she has a point there. I think alot more people think about it than admit it.
• 

  Insomniac

  I'm a flamin' heterosexual. I just think men are the greatest gift the Goddess ever gave us, and I wish my arms were long enough to hug all of them at once. However, a pretty big proportion of my friends are gay. I didn't set out to be the token straight chick in the room, it just happened that way.

  Like everybody else on the planet, there are some very spiritual gay folks, some atheists, some who are working to have a relationship with the Supreme One but don't quite know how. It seems to be more a factor of who they are inside, than their sexuality. Anyhow, as long as you're not hurting anyone else, do what you like; love is not a sin. Welcome to the board, Butterfly!
• 

  GentlyFeral

  copsec,

  Hmm, how many eperiences do you have to have to be BI????

  In my experience -- one less than you actually want. If you're still lookin' forward to the next one, you're not str8 any more

  GentlyFeral