Jehovah Says:"Shut up,, you are giving me a headache,,, down there!!!!"

by frankiespeakin 58 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    As a self ordained spokes person for his majesty jehovah,,I would like to dutifully carry out my comission faithfully,, so as not to incurr the wrath of his most highness.

    Now for those of you who do not believe me to be jehovah's self-appointed spokesman,, just ask Jehovah for yourself,, if he don't answer you,, it means youv'e probably pissed him off,, and in that case he ain't gonna answer you so you'll just have to take my word for.

    This is what jehovah of armies says:::: " You guys are starting to really piss me off,, who told to you can examine the Bible,,, to see if this is my word,, or not,,, you have such little faith,,, you keep searching the scriptures,,, to find out if there are faults,,, well,,, you know how I feel about faith,,, and you people are not exercising that right now,,, why if I had a lightning bolt right now,,, I smite every one of yus,,, your'e a noisy,, lot!!!"

    "What ever happened to good old-fashioned,,, faith??? None of this proving it,, just beleive for christsakes!"

    "All of a sudden now everybody wants proof that I exist,,,what ever happen to just beleive in me without the proof,,Asking me for proof is a good way to get me very angry!!!!"

    "You guys are giving me a big supper headache with all you're demands for proof,, just shut your pieholes,,,,because,,, I've got a headache,,, and my headache is much more important than your measly need for proof,.,why I outa smite the whole lot of yus right now,,just for ha ha's. Pipe down all you ungreatful ones of the earth,,, you are giving me a headache."

    The words of jehovah have come to an end. And "I" "frankie" have faithfully,, and dutifully have carried out """my comission""" to not add or subtract from the word of jehovah,, may all have peace and be blessed, that is if jehovah wills.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Thanks for conveying those sincere sentiments from the God of the Hebrews, Frankie. I only hope you've been very faithful and have not altered them, because you know what Jehovah will do to you if you've changed even one apostrophe or comma.

    So Jehovah wants us to shut down the part of our brain that reasons and asks questions, and accept everything told to us WITH FAITH?

    "Without faith it is impossible to please him," so says the Bible. I guess I need a faith transfusion.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Gopher,

    Thanks for your word of encouragement,, I need it,, for this is a heavy word from jehovah,, , and I wasn't sure I could carry it out,, but jehovah always provides strength from the least likely places,, O may his name be bless forever!! Aleluia!!! amen and amen,,

    When I first heard his voice speaking to me I thought it was the radio,, but I figured it out right away,,that it had to be jehovah,, because of the heavenly echos after each emphatic statement,, O,,and let me tell you,,,these vibrating echos reach deep down,,, into my most intimate parts (unmentionable),, and all I can say is: WOW!!,, after this experience,, sex is just nothing. Talk to me jehovah I just love your deep booming voice shaking all my,, well I'll let you use your imagination,,, all I can say is pray more,,LOL.

    God bless and may others be so priviledged to experience the climatic (in more ways than one) voice of God. PS,, I'm getting turned on just thinking about it,, time to make another trip to the bathroom.

  • SAHS
    SAHS

    Frankiespeakin:

    after this experience,, sex is just nothing. Talk to me jehovah I just love your deep booming voice shaking all my,, well I'll let you use your imagination

    Sounds like you got the idea from that movie a few years ago about Howard Stern ? you know, the one where he?s on the radio talking to this young woman who is sexually frustrated, and he tells her to take one of her big hi-fi speakers, lay it facing up, and ?have a seat? whilst he makes a loud, low-frequency sound into the microphone with his mouth. (That?s what it reminds me of, anyway.)

    I think that if God were on the radio, he?d probably be a cross between Howard Stern and Dr. Laura. Just my 2 cents (Canadian).

    ?SAHS

  • Mr. Kim
  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Mr, Kim,

    Do you mock jehovah's word,,???, let met tell you,, what happened to the last bunch of kids to mock jehovah,, a she-bear chewed them all up beyond recongnition,,so that their parents just burried body parts that they "thought" belong to their children.

  • Mr. Kim
    Mr. Kim

    I do not mock my Father's word. Perhaps the question should be directed at yourself for what you have written could sin against the Holy Spirit. But then, you don't really believe or care do you? It's all a big game to you........

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    I'm sorry to disapoint you Mr. Kim but jehovah specifically told me that you have mocked him,, and he sounded a little pissed,,,.

    Now when jehovah speaks to me it is greater than gettin head,,, by at least a billion times. But when he spoke about you nothing,,,blah,,, that's all I can say,,, Oh and he said for me to tell you,,, to,,,: "repent of your unbelief that "Frankie" is not my chief spokeman,, before it is too late and I inihilate you from the face of this earth,, and cast you into the lake of fire that will not go out,, or to use more venacular terms,,,:'thow you into the sun'"

    Wow Wow Wow unto you who beleivith not!!!!!(me,, I,, Frankie,, said that)

  • Puternut
    Puternut

    *sticking a finger up frankies ass*

    Now could you repeat what you just said?

  • Mr. Kim
    Mr. Kim

    Frankie,

    You picked one heck of a subject to poke fun of.

    Mr KIM

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