Passing the time at JW Assemblies

by Leolaia 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • got my forty homey?
    got my forty homey?

    LOL

    Great stories!

    The siezure would have been great to see, and the seagull crapping on the kid is beutifal!

    Never had any great experiences like that.

    Although as a kid I remember in Belmont being on the upper deck and spilling soda over the ledge to the poor saps seated below. I was about 11 or 12 doing that.

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    after the convention one night, a few hundred dubbies were staying at the local hyatt, which had a full atrium inside open space to the twelth floor. Someone started playing the grand piano, and before long dozens of dubs were singing kingdom songs in the middle of the hyatt. Me and my friend were kids, and of course, hated it, so we made a bunch of wet clumps of toilet paper, went to the twelth floor, and beaned as many dubs as we could before sneaking off, which was hard to do what with the glass elevators and all.

  • marie67
    marie67

    When I was "GOOD" I would take notes. Look around at people. Love to people watch. Alot of unhappy ones.

    My hubby has made up the game of witness bingo which is fun. Use key words that you know will be said such as Faithful slave, full share in service, etc... When speaker says the phrase or word mark off Can be quite entertaining.

    Now that we have the baby we can pace the halls with him. All the ladies like to do in the mother's room is talk anyway. Do alot of that at the meetings now. My husband is soooo..... jealous of me ha!!!! =^..^=

  • betweenworlds
    betweenworlds

    Here is the Meeting Bingo:

    Do you keep falling asleep during meetings and assemblies? What about those
    long and boring home studies?
    Here's a way to change all of that.

    1. Before (or during) your next meeting, or assembly
    prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find
    that
    5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns -- five
    across
    and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

    2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
    a) the society
    b) the truth
    c) theocratic warfare
    d) 144,000
    e) cleaving to Jehovah
    f) return visit
    g) bad association
    h) scriptural stand on blood
    i) theocratic arrangement
    j) last days
    k) the world
    l) pagan holidays
    m) you can live forever
    n) pioneer hours
    o) judicial committee
    p) head covering
    q) Armageddon
    r) a loving provision
    s) spiritual food
    t) bethel
    u) we have no clergy class
    v) privileges in the congregation
    w) disfellowship
    x) sheep like ones
    y) earthly hope

    3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
    words/phrases.

    4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
    stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

    Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

    * "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
    --Jack W., Boston

    * "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
    --David
    D., Florida

    * "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first
    win." --Bill R., New York City

    * "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us
    waited for the fifth box." --Ben G., Denver

    * "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHIT!" for
    the
    third time in two hours."

  • marie67
    marie67

    Hilarious betweenworlds!!! You came up with a great list!!! You know all the jargon!! =^..^=

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    betweenworlds.....Thanks so much, and man how I wished I had that game when I was a dub....

    4JWY....Your seagull story reminded me of what happened once when I was in London on my last day, trying to figure out where to go for dinner. I had my guide book open, looking at the places listed, trying to find the best one when plop into my hair and into the book came a load dropped from above. The gloop dripped through my longish hair and I had to find a place to rinse my hair -- fast. But the only place I could find that had a bathroom was a nearby restaurant (this was near Royal Albert Hall). But in order to use the restroom, you had to be a paying customer. So in a very real sense, the pigeon flying overhead chose the restaurant for me.

  • 4JWY
    4JWY

    betweenworlds: You are definitely providing our entertainment here tonite - LOL lots!

    Additional BINGO WORDS:

    Appreciate

    Do we not?.....

    Fight the fine fight

    Destroy

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    In an earlier post, this was my top ten why dubs go the meetings but it could be used to why we go to conventions to;

    10. To catch up on your sleep.
    9. To practice your used car saleperson smile.
    8. To pick up your weekly supply of toilet paper.
    7. To keep up on local JW gossip.
    6. To Practice your brown nosing techneques.
    5. Only place you can hear a guy that can't run his own affairs get
    up on the platform and tell you how to run your affairs.
    4. Hear what "new light" the WTBTS has made up.
    3. Hear what "new light" the WTBTS is now saying is "old light".
    2. To see who needs an "additude adjustment" and rat out on them.
    1. Good place when you have nothing else to do to waste a couple of
    hours of time.

    Will

  • cyber-sista
    cyber-sista

    I recall entering into a trancelike zone. I drifted in and out of this zone during the assembly program. Sometimes in my semi coma state I would play a game where i would stare out at the masses and focus on the color yellow--my brain could pick out everyone wearing yellow and the pattern that the yellow people made up all together in the crowd. I would go through all the colors blue, brown, grey--lots of brown, grey and black. There weren't too many oranges and purples out there. I would perc up a bit during the experiences--sometimes they were rather strange. Remember at one assembly a few years ago a young teenage sister got up and gave a part on modest dress, but she was wearing a dress with a big old slit up the side--don't know how she slipped by the elders on that one...heard a few tisk tisks in the crowd over that one...I think we took any tidbit of interest we could get our brains around

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Yes!! This thread has passed the 50 post mark! This is the longest thread I ever started.

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