Farting at the Kingdom Hall.

by avishai 73 Replies latest jw friends

  • Celtic
    Celtic

    Another time I remember being particularly bored on the doors with the brother I was working with, so I thrupped as loudly as possible, feigned embarrassment, apologised to householder, creased up laughing and fled as fast as me legs would take me. No more anyway on this subject, this family too windy for words.

    Poofing Celt

  • got my forty homey?
  • avishai
    avishai

    bttt

  • ohiocowboy
    ohiocowboy

    I think Farts are one of the funniest things-I fart, Therefore I am!

    Reading some of the posts on most embarrasing moments at the kingdom hall has some related threads.

    If you really want to give someone an evil payback-Fart into their pillow-down works best, as the gas stays inside much longer-then carefully place it back down fluffed up. When they go to bed and put their head on the pillow, the fart comes out in their face!

  • ChimChim
    ChimChim

    My little sister actually had a same incident... One time when they were giving one of their talks she farted really loud and everyone looked back, and she got all red in the face and blamed it on my grandmother sitting next to her

    C.C

  • JH
    JH

    Brother Bush wants to make a comment...

  • Dan-O
    Dan-O

    Deny & deflect. The secret is to quickly turn around & glare at the people in the seats behind you.

  • fairy
    fairy

    there was this little kid at the meeting and she farted and sneezed at the same time

  • fairy
    fairy

    there was this little kid at the meeting and she farted and sneezed at the same time

  • boa
    boa

    The trick is in delivery with the SBD.

    You realize you're having a slow but gradual pressure buildup like filling a tire. The tire in this case is also called a spare tire, the air is yer fart vapours. You can't escape to relieve the pressure. The problem is that if you wait too long or the gas builds up too fast, you'll have some embarrasing stomach noise that sounds like a fart but isn't the real thing! Anyway, the trick is to plant one cheek firmly on the seat as a sort of anchor (I usually choose my right one for this since i'm right handed, I must also be right-cheeked)

    Now, the next skill is to ever so gently lift the other non-anchored cheek and pry it away from the anchored one thus causing a sort of controlled release of immense pressure and stink. Execute this perfectly and you will get away with da bomb and no one will know it was you - just look around like you're looking for the perpetrator like everyone else.

    Screw it up and what you just attempted will sound like letting a big balloon go slowly by squeezing the top between two fingers - squuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

    boa

    i'm doing one now ....

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