"We Had No Idea How Manipulative He Can Be!"

by pale.emperor 38 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  pale.emperor

  Very stressfull and upsetting evening was had last night. I dropped my 2yo daughter off to my ex-wifes home. All seemed good until i got home. She called me and ranted, shouted, screamed and wouldnt let me get a word in for a solid hour and a half. The reason? Because on one of the days that i had my daughter i visited a family that was putting up their christmas tree with their little kids. My daughter was overjoyed with the decorations and helped. She danced with the other little kids, painted, played with toys, had lunch and a fun time was had by all. I wasnt keeping this a secret from my wife but i didnt tell her about it either. She called me, absolutely livid, because our daughter had mixed with non-JW children, had put up a christmas tree and been in someones house that she didnt know.

  Irony overload when she said "how do i know these people arnt pedophiles for goodness sake?!!"

  Then came a torrent of abuse, name calling and accusations. She told me somethings which, if true, are quite upsetting. Such as:

  My family being in contact with her and telling her how cruel i am that i dont allow my daughter to visit unless im there. (My family are shunning me, but expect me to drop my daughter off for visits, leave, then come back and get her when the visit is over). My sister and mother have told their elders and the rest of the family that me doing so is very manipulative and cruel. To which the elders in my old congregation have said "We had no idea how manipulative he can be!"
  

  My ex-best friend in the congregation saying that i encouraged him to go to a strip club. (We did go a strip club, it was his bachelor party and HIS idea!)

  The congregation all talking about me saying i dont care for my daughter. (LIE)

  BUT THE WORST IS YET TO COME... she called the elders. Two elders visited her home and asked my 2yo girl about me. Apparently, a 2yo child told them that i have women over in my house all the time. How a 2yo can articulate such a claim is beyond me. The truth is, when im with my daughter NO ONE is allowed to visit me. Thats my time with my daughter. My ex doesnt believe this and is now only allowing me to see my girl 1 day every 2 weeks!!
• 

  JWdaughter

  No lawyer yet? Get one asap.
• 

  Crazyguy

  Yep when you leave the lies start flying around like you wouldn't believe. My wife did the same called me an apostate just for asking some questions about doctrine and then things just got worse. She implied to her friends that I was having sex at a massage parlor, that was the worse lie I know about. Sorry for your situation with your daughter. Call an attorney if you can for some help with visitation.
• 

  freddo

  I had a brother come to me when I was an elder. He and his wife were "scripturally divorced" but both were jw's "the guilty party - her" having been reinstated.

  The ex-wife was causing problems over access issues. She knew her ex-husband (the brother) had been abused by an older witness when he was just nine years old. (I knew about this abuse and the perpetrator had been df'd)

  She threatened to go to child protection services and say that he consented to his abuse and fully participated in it (he was nine years old remember?) and could be a danger to their own child if he had unsupervised access.

  This was a long time ago and the brother has a very good relationship with the child - his daughter who is now in her early twenties.

  There are some evil bitches out there.
• 

  blondie

  When I was a jw my mother told me that a certain sister had told her than her ex-husband non-jw had chained their 13-year-old son to a metal bed. Especially because of my job status with the government, I had to pursue an investigation. Talking with the boy, he said his mother lied about it so his father would lose custody or visitation but did not report the so-called abuse to the proper authorities. After his testimony and no physical evidence of chaining and no psychological evidence, the courts had another custody hearing and he was given more visitation and the mother was warned that she could lose all custody. My mother had a hissyfit....all she had to do was keep her mouth shut....but this sister had spread the story far and wide. I met with 2 elders in that congregation and said that I would be telling the truth to everyone I knew had been told the lie and that they pass it on because the father was looking into suing these people.

  It is hard to stop the vicious gossip mill in congregations; I have been a target of it over the years. Probably the only thing that lives forever, is the slander.

  I would get an attorney and legally establish your custody/visitation rights with steps that can be taken to make sure your ex-wife follows it. Young children have not yet formed the understanding of truth and lies. If your parents want to see their grandchildren, why not have them arrange it through your ex-wife?

  Divorce can be so nasty, and the ones that get hurt the most are the children.

  Blondie, child of divorce
  
• 

  Diogenesister

  I'm sorry but you have to take the gloves off now. Firstly you need to document all Of this. Then contact an anti cult organization and try to get the name of a sympathetic lawyer. NOW is the time to do it with all the ARC stuff in the media. You need to point out to a lawyer the risks to a small child at the kingdom hall

  *ARC

  *Undue influence the BiTE model

  *Shunning, what happened with your "in" family

  *Risk to health re transfusion

  *Risk to mental health, why two strange men are allowed to question your 2 yr old about your sex life.

  *Risk to her mental health as she grows, what if she is gay, number of suicides of young people in the org, sexism against women,

  *Risk of domestic abuse, girls told to put up and shut up in marriage

  Try to get more access, as the JW are seen more and more as a dangerous cult to kids, please try to get more control over what they can and cannot do - for your daughters sake.

  Sorry but this has made me furious.

  I can't write anymore it makes me so mad. THEY need to watch their step THEY ARE THE ONES IN A CULT.
• 

  Diogenesister

  Freddo He threatened to go to child protection services and say that he consented to his abuse and fully participated in it (he was nine years old remember?) and could be a danger to their own child if he had unsupervised access.

  Hmmm, let them go. Typical Witness statement. Can you imagine what child protection would think of the sort of person who would claim that a

  Nine year old boy was responsible for his own abuse?!!! They would get short shrift!
• 

  stan livedeath

  i have women over in my house all the time

  great!--invite me over--we can really start a party. i can bring a few more
• 

  ToesUp

  Lawyer up and fight the fine fight. Tell your ex to contact your lawyer NOT YOU and hang up. If you want to celebrate the holidays or be with friends that are doing so, that is your business. When your wife explains this to the judicial system, they will think she's nuts. All the "worldly" people think the JW's are batsh*t cra2!
• 

  rebelfighter

  I'm sorry but you have to take the gloves off now. Firstly you need to document all Of this. Then contact an anti cult organization and try to get the name of a sympathetic lawyer. NOW is the time to do it with all the ARC stuff in the media. You need to point out to a lawyer the risks to a small child at the kingdom hall

  *ARC

  *Undue influence the BiTE model

  *Shunning, what happened with your "in" family

  *Risk to health re transfusion

  *Risk to mental health, why two strange men are allowed to question your 2 yr old about your sex life.

  *Risk to her mental health as she grows, what if she is gay, number of suicides of young people in the org, sexism against women,

  *Risk of domestic abuse, girls told to put up and shut up in marriage

  Try to get more access, as the JW are seen more and more as a dangerous cult to kids, please try to get more control over what they can and cannot do - for your daughters sake.

  Sorry but this has made me furious.

  I can't write anymore it makes me so mad. THEY need to watch their step THEY ARE THE ONES IN A CULT.

  I had to copy this because this is the best advise for your daughter. Please get to a good lawyer and arm them with every bit of ammunition to protect your little girl against this cult.