by Dunedain 70 Replies latest jw experiences
There was an mp3 that was floating around US Bethel in the mid 2000's of a DC Talk where the Bethel speaker was trying to describe the difference between a Squid and an Octopus. He kept say Testicles when he meant to say tentacles.
We got a stern talking to for not being loving and shaming our brother.
I'm still looking for that mp3...
JWTALK may have it, but I'm not welcome on their site
In the mid-eighties, one of the MS's in our congregation gave his very first public talk.
He was a real 'hick' and his theory must have been to make the biggest impact possible during his first talk.
It was full of completely shocking, outrageous stories designed perhaps to stun us all into being better JW's.
Among the highlights was a story warning against pre-marital sex that concerned 2 infants (both were 3yrs old apparently- yes THREE years old) that were caught committing fornication in the car while the adult quickly left them to go into a store to buy something.
This was greeted by audible gasps from the gob-smacked audience.
Not sure James but the point of his argument was; 'you can't turn your back on young ones for a second'.
Just remembered a few more.
This one passage of scriptures repeatedly mentioned the word "brazier," and the person reading it kept pronouncing it like "brassiere."
This older guy, a very flustered speaker, giving a TMS talk assignment about homosexuality, blurted out in the middle "Homo sex is unclean & dirty!"
This one elder had his face and hand blown off in an accident. He would give incomprehensible hour long public talks with his half a face and hook hand. Literally, no one could understand a word he said. But everyone kept requesting him far and wide because "his bravery is so inspiring!" Children of the audience were a mix of either terrified or giggling.
One time an elder accidentally admitted during a Watchtower study about the disfellowshipping arrangement that he regularly prays for his currently dfed daughter.
Either he forgot this was a no-no, or he forgot he needed to keep that fact a secret.
And
Several years ago we had a creepy visiting brother give a public talk and he made this statement regarding the dangers of the internet from the platform:
"I would never have Internet access in my home. I would spend all my spare time looking at pornography."
A brother had asked and was marrying a very young sister in the hall and when the wedding talk was giving the brother giving the talk read a scripture where it says "Let the stealer steal no more" He meant to read from another chapter and made a mistake. But this one was more appropriate.
Once a brother was giving a talk about cleanliness and created an illustration about a clean bathtub of water. Then he said if your wife gets into it while she is on her menstrual cycle would you drink the water afterward?
Cricket, cricket, cricket,...
When I was a teen, a local older single brother who was working on the contruction of the local Bethel (and later went on to be a special pioneer) gave a public talk that left everyone blushing.
At some point he began explaining that lesbian sex is condemned by the Bible because obviously isn't natural because during sexual relations one of the women must take on the role of a man ... Wtf?
Later he also told an experience where two single young Witnesses were secretly having sex, and they thought they wouldn't be discovered because he would (quote) "take his penis out before he climaxed". However, one day, he was so carried away that he didn't "take his penis out in time" and she ended up getting pregnant, they were discovered and disfellowshipped. The very conservative audience was blushing with the graphic descriptions offered from the plattform. A real "WTF?" moment, if I ever recall one.
Eden
